• "I don't want to." That's the only one I use..
  • I seen the cops so I had to go the other way and was to scared to come back I thought you said I should have not I should It was raining
  • Depends what the excuse is for. Bad smells: It was the dog It was the kids It was the wife Not going to your in laws: Car wont start Have to work Sprained my leg Have to see a friend about something Don't want to Not going to work: Really ill Funeral Sprained my ankle Got bitten by Dog, kids, wife... lol :)
  • I've actually used a few of these, can you guess which ones? I was busy hiding bodies... I have a cake in the oven... I'm sorry, I can't make it, I have an appointment with my shock therapist... Sorry about that, I was abducted by aliens... Ninja attacked my village and I had to avenge my fallen comrades... I'm sick with the swine flu... Sorry, I'm pregnant... I had a miscarriage... The demons are trying to control my thoughts again!!! I have to find an exorcist... The dog ate my homework, so I'm trying to force him to rewrite my term paper... (have somebody else call for you) Sorry, he can't make it, he's dead... A rabid racoon has chased me up a tree and I can't get back down...
  • "I did it because he/she asked me to" "you never told me not to" "although you did tell me not to do it, I was wearing earphones, and didn't quite catch it" "devil took over my body" "it was the terrorists" and my favorite one: "Well, you see, I was actually coming back home from church, thinking about how I wouldn't ever do anything wrong, I'd stay virgin until marriage, I'd work hard everyday with a smile on my face, and I'd never be rude to nobody, and all that, when suddenly I was abducted by aliens which put what I though was a probe inside my body and then set me loose in the face of the earth, and when I was gonna tell someone what happened, I killed him for no apparent reason. Then I Proceded to burn down a mall, put explosives in the white house, grab a bunch of guns and kill every pedestrian which happened to come across me, and then made a slaughter in about 5 police stations. Then I realized it was the alien artifact inside me which made me do all that stuff, and so I grabed a chainsaw and opened myself to take it out, then the devil came and I had to fight him to dead, in which I almost lose, but then I won. And so an army general watched the whole thing and enlisted me, sending me to Irak to find Osama and kill him. When I was halfway across the atlantic the plane exploded and I lived, so I had to swim my way there and then I realized I ended up in Africa. There a tribe of cannibals wanted to eat me, but then I told them about God and all that stuff, so they converted, and thanked me for all, making me kind of their savior. Then they took me in a caravan trough the Sahara to find civilization, but there a group of bandits attacked us and, uh... a gigantic worm came out of the sand and ate us all, there we had to journey trough it's entrails ntil we found something that seemed vital, which we cut and then the worm died, but there we were trapped for 7 days and nights trying to find ourselves a way out. Then I managed to get to egypt where I found the US embassy. They soon got me a plane back here, so I was once again on my way home, but I got lost and ended up in some dark alley. There was a junkie who made me eat by force some strange thing he prepared, and then he convinced me to [whatever it is you're excusing yourself for], and when I realized I couldn't change it, so I came back." It works everytime
  • I got diarrhea. Nobody ever questions it. They'd dare not check for proof.
  • So sorry. I would have gotten it done, but I was dead that day.
  • I cant be bothered, im too lazy...............
  • "Wasn't me" "Against my religion" "No speaky English"
  • Excuses excuses excuses excuses
  • I don't wanna I can't. My mom says no. I was in traffic. My baby was crying. My grandma was in the hospital. I had to take someone to the airport.

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