What do i do if my sister is getting married and my parents forbid my interracial partner to join me at the wedding?
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 26
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Tell them if you don't receive a joint invitation you will sadly have to decline your invitation. Unless, of course, other people's partners are also not invited and the lack of an invitation is based on logistics, rather than the racial motivation that your question implies.
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What does your sister think? It is her day. This would also depend alot on how old you are. Under 18 you need to respect your parents wishes.
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Don't attend it yourself. It should be your sister's (and her partner's) choice who attends her wedding. If she cannot override your parents decision (which, in justice, she should), you should apologise to her, but say you cannot attend - and that it is your parents decision that is spoiling the wedding. If she supports the decision, she doesn't deserve an apology.
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That's kind of a tough situation. Easy answer..don't go. If it were me and my attendance depended upon my leaving my partner out...I wouldn't go. If my partner was a jerk and no one liked him/her I might understand their position, but to exclude him/her based upon race is unfair if they are the one you love and choose to be with. Your family can't control who you love, and if they exclude your partner, it's almost the same as excluding you.
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I would talk to your parents about the situation to ensure that you really understand why your parents object to your partner. If indeed they are racially motivated, then I would talk to your sister, and let her know why you will be declining the invitation, and how saddened you are by the situation. If they are racially motivated, your parents are hoping that the relationship is short-lived, and likely haven't told their friends. To them, your partner coming to the wedding puts them in an awkward situation where suddenly they will have to acknowledge to everyone that you're dating a _________ (which ever racial epitaph you would use). Of course racism is wrong, and your parents are being ostriches, but if you try and put yourself in their shoes, it will help you be calmer, kinder, and more forgiving towards them. That does not mean that you capitulate to their racist ideas however. I wish you the best of luck with this.
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That's too bad.If you are an adult,how can they stop you?If not,maybe your sister could talk with them for you.
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Well, it's not really your parent's decision, is it? Your sister is the one getting married and she's the one who has a right to say who you're allowed to bring.
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It's up to you, I wouldn't go because it will just be awkward and if you go with him, and if you go without him, you might as well kiss the relationship good bye. Your parents are extremely ignorant by the way, I wouldn't put up with such ignorance no matter who it was from. That's just my opinion though.
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If you are old enough to have a partner, then surely you are old enough to make your own decisions?
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Firstly its your sisters wedding, secondly they have nothing to forbid, speak to your sister first!
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That's what you get for dating Obama
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That's ridiculous... It's your sister's wedding. If she wants you two to be there then you two can totally be there. It's not up to your parents to make that choice.
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That's terrible. Really sometimes I just don't understand people! I would have a heart to heart with your sister. It's something I would hope your sister would understand especially since she is taking a major step-marriage. What if you marry this person? Would they (your parents) not celebrate your union? I commend you for being with someone out of love even though its against your parents grain. You should never have to make a choice between what makes you happy and what makes your family happy.
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This is your sisters day, don't attempt to become the center attraction by attending!
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WOW This is not an easy one. Your parents really need to realize that todays world is not color blind. Show them these answers, let them know you love them and that you dont want a divided family over the issue. If you do lead them here to read this I would like them to ask themselves: What puts you in the position to better judge who a person is on the inside. Close your eyes and open your mind.
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While it's difficult to imagine adult people being so ignorant and backward - the most important person to consider on the day is your sister. It's a time when it is ALL about her :) and any really negative, festering issues in the immediate family especially can take the focus away from where it should be - on the couple getting married. How does your sister feel about your parent's attitude? If she disagrees with how your parents are behaving, then she has every power and privilege to override their decision. Can you talk to her about it? All good wishes to you, for a positive outcome. Whatever transpires, no one but no one can dictate where our hearts *should/shouldn't* be when the people involved are old enough to decide these things for themselves.
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it seems to me that your parents are more worried about what people will think about your choice in a partner than your happiness. If you dont bring your partner, there are going to be hurt feelings. If you do its going to cause tension at the wedding. Ask your sister what she thinks. If she is fine with it then bring your partner because at the end of the day that who you are going home with.
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If your parents' position is based solely on your partner's race, I would speak with my Sister and indicate, apologetically, that I will be unable to attend without my partner. Even if your Sister should intervene with your parents, I would be hesitatant to attend, lest he be made to feel uncomfortable by your parents and others, which he probably already is, if he is aware of your parents ultimatum. If your Sister is not supportive of your parents, but is unwilling to take the issue on, I would arrange to celebrate her marriage with her and her new husband, and you and your partner, at a later date...perhaps a nice dinner.
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If I was you, I would still show up just to show and prove them how serious you are about your interracial partner... If you cause toi many problems, best thing to leave but ypr prove your point.. dont be scared...
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Ask your sister, if she's has no problem tell your parents that it's not their wedding but your sister's and that she has no problem with your partner. It would be better for them not to put their prejudices over your and your sister's happiness. She wnats you at her wedding and you are happy with your partner.
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While I DO think that is terrible behavior on your parent's part... I tend to think "big picture" style here. If you were to boycott your sister's wedding because of this, you run the risk of your sister hating you for the rest of your life and harboring deep resentment. Is this person really worth the pain it would cause you and your family? This is a very important day to your sister and if I were in your position I would put my personal feelings aside and let her enjoy her day with you by her side. As it is HER day. But that is just me. You might want to ask your sister to stick up for you with your parents. She may be able to have some influence over who you bring as it is HER wedding, right? Unless your parents have foot the bill for everything and unless you are under 18 then I dont see why you cant make your own choice here??
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Go. Its your sisters wedding not thiers. I know its tough but why would you hurt your sister on her wedding day to satisfy the twisted demands of a couple of bigots, cos that is what it boils down to. Sorry i know its your parents, but really, you cant give in to this stuff...and certainly not at the expense of your sister on her wedding day. Besides if you left me behind because of my skin colour i would leave you. That is not someone i would want to have a relationship with. Abiding by your parents twisted wishes might make you pay a really high price in the loss of respect by both your partner and your sister Please dont do this
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if it were me i'd suck it up. yea it might be my sister's wedding, and if my parents aren't paying for it then they really doesn't have much say in it, but it's still my sister's day. i wouldn't be so selfish as to ruin it for her.
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ask your sister wether she will allow your date to attend... if not then you don't attend... unless of course he is just a short term relationship you have no long term plans with... if I were going steady though it is only because I had not found the right moment to propose.
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Maybe you could ask your parents this question "where such a rage comes from?" and the tell them this "you must always remember that you just like I, have the choice of joining the racists in a race war or joining with the mainstream in the high road toward racial harmony and equality,"...."and I have made my choice."
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That's a toughie. As others suggested, I would talk to your sister and find out what her opinion is. The other thing to consider is whether your parents will make a scene at the wedding and ruin your sister's special day.
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