Is it okay for a Mom to share with her child that he/she was conceived during a rape? Why?
by 
CleverlyPut
ANSWERS: 9
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Tough question that. I would say yes, once the child has grown up and would be mature enough to accept the news. As for why, well every person should have the right to know the truth.
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What do you hope to gain by it? I wouldn't discuss it, if I were you, if I felt bitter or angry. At some point, like before she starts dating, you might find it appropriate. My concern is that the child inside the person you talk to will feel diminished, less worthy as a person, perhaps even unloved. Please proceed cautiously. Do what is best for your girl. I hope you have made peace with this violation and offer my support as you have other questions.
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My friend Anne recently had a baby she conceived during a rape and she says if the baby asks she will tell.
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I couldn't see telling a kid that. What would they have to gain from knowing?
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What would be the point?
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Not right to unload on a child that kind of drama. It can wait.
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Once they grow up a bit. /I/ would want to know it, if I was.
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Wow, ABers can sometimes come up with very difficult questions. I suppose a time would come (in some cases) where a child persists in asking about his or her father and the mother must stop saying he's dead, or lives in another country.... But, she really has to walk on eggs. I'd say she should work with a professional before she considers discussing it with her child. And that professional should continue to be involved for some time after the child is told....
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The shame and evil is on the rapist, not the victim or the child, but I realise that that truth gets tangled. It is a pretty horrible situation but I basically believe that if something bad is there, it shouldn't be ignored. Acknowledging it doesn't make it any more true, just as ignoring it doesn't make it any less true. It is definitely ok for the mother to tell, but it's up to her to decide whether/when/how.
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