I am sorry this has happened to you and you do not need to feel stupid over it. No, do not call your ex over this, it may cause problems with his relationship and you are in a vulnerable state right now. Look for the phone numbers of the local rape crisis group and contact them, or even a womans shelter, they will help you out.

You should call the police.

its a confusing situation. I'm not sure if it was really a date rape. I was missing Tim and grieving the suicide of my fiance last year. I had taken two ativans and was going through my fiance's things when I came across his bottle of Jack Daniels. I don't drink, but I had a sip and another and another. Around 9pm a man I had dated in the past but never had sex with called me. I was loaded and he said he was bringing me some food and going to sober me up. I remember eating a couple of bites and saying I had to lay down. I took a sleeping pill, he said he would stay with me. I woke up and he was having sex with me. I yelled at him and he stopped. I passed out again and he was still there in the morning. I told him I was upset about the night before and he said it had been consentual.

Why would you feel stupid? It was NOT your fault. You need to press charges against the person that did this to you. Instead of calling your ex go to a counselor. They will know how to help the best.

With you in that condition I highly doubt it was consensual. He should have not taken advantage of you.

You are greedy, here he is trying to work things out with his ex and your trying to steel him back. Leave him a lone and find a another friend or consular to talk to, there and many howlines out there for that. Let him live his life. doin't get between them he'll just want to stay away from you for messing up things for him.

1st of all, i'm sorry this happened to you. i hate when guys do this; it makes us all look like mindless animals. okay, several thoughts...1st: don't even begin to get the situation with your ex & what happened to you twisted up into one big mess. there is no reason factually to do that, no correlation between the two. if this guy knew he was raping you there is no way in hell he would have stayed and waited for you to wake up. he was probably fucked up, too, or at least horrendously misled as to the purpose of his presence. figure out exactly what you want the world to know about what happened, because this can of worms does not close once it's been opened. a rape kit cannot even be done after 48 hours, so it would be tough to prove anything happened unless you wind up pregnant or get an STD. don't involve your ex: the ex + caring about you + a horrible event in your life = vengeance. do you think he'll sit idly by after he's told his ex was raped? his protective instinct will get him screwed by society in all kinds of ways in regard to this situation. don't do that to him. i'm married now, and if one of my exes came to me & said something like this happened to her i wouldn't care how the relationship ended; i would only want to chop a motherfucker into little pieces, and it's not easy getting over in this world if you feel that way. and what the hell's wrong with you anyway? getting back with an ex? recycling an ex is like recycling last night's dinner; not a good idea & it's just not the same as it was the first time you saw it...

Don't call the ex, that would be a big mistake. No matter what he told you about going back to his ex-wife(phone calls from relatives, friends, etc) he chose to go back because he WANTED to. I hope you called the police, with the condition you were in you were in no shape to make the decision to have sex. Also get to a doctor, even though it's late for a rape kit, get tested for std's. Find a good counselor to help you through this and the other things you've been through in the past year. The rape crisis center in your area can help you with this. Keep your head up, it wasn't your fault. There are guys(and girls) who prey on those who are vulnerable. Remember always that it wasn't your fault.

The operative word in the term 'date rape' is RAPE. Call the cops. Get someone involved, but not your ex. Call a rape crisis centre where you live and get some real advice from people who work with victims. Sorry this happened to you! Fight back!

sweety...you are crossing apples and oranges. These are two separate issues and need to be addressed as such. first...you need to talk to the police. Your ex cant help you; they can at least try. as for the ex, he has chosen another woman over you. even if it doesnt work between him and her, do you want the man who chose you as second best? You deserve better, dont be me!!!!

First off that is a terrible thing that happened to you and you should seek professional help/counseling. I think in some twisted way you are trying to use this tragic situation as an ulterior motive in winning him back by making him feel sorry for you, or else you wouldnt have mentioned wanting to win him back. You need to check yourself.

you know what was funny. i was date raped to and the guy was a police. so tell me people who would believe me certainly not the cops.

Go to anyone you trust, honestly you should go to the police!

I would report him to the police..that was rape.

Ok, assuming it is not your ex that 'basically date raped' you (what does the 'basically' part mean????) ... then you should leave him alone and let him work things out with his wife. If you are out of the picture, then he deserves that as you will complicate his current relationship. If it was your ex that date raped you (it isn't clear to me above????), then you should report him to the police and take it from there. If you do not have the conviction to do that, then I suggest the 'basically' part means you feel somewhat at fault for the date-rape and perhaps you need to break it off. Very mixed up.