Tell her that they are too separated with age stuff and they should be at least 2 years apart or less cuz he probably doesnt even like her.

Explain to her that you want for her to be happy, to start with. Just so she knows that you aren't just trying to ruin it for her. Then explain that you are very concerned for her. Tell her that you think that she should be dating someone closer to her own age so that she will be able to enjoy growing up at a more normal rate. Tell her that if she continues to date him he might become interested in sex, marriage, and children with her. He might expect her to take on the role of a wife, and that she really shouldn't try to take on such responsibility until she is out of highschool, has a career and other means of taking care of herself. She doesn't want to be left with nothing if she doesn't take care of business now and then down the road he leaves her on her own with no career or assets of her own. And she will probably be able to enjoy a relationship for a longer period of time, with someone closer to her own age and wave length. One other concern is that he might be trying to take advantage of her being young and therefore some what gullable. Many men will try to convince a girl to do the things he wants by using ploys like, "if you love me you would," or "my ex would have done it," etc. because they know that if the girl wants to keep him around bad enough, she'll do it so that he won't go and find some older woman. It happened to me as a teenager. All that you can really do is explain why it's wrong and let her know how much you care. Then let her decide what she thinks is right. That would probably be the best way to go about it and keep your relationship with her from going sour. If she doesn't decide that you are right and leave him, then you should definitely involve her parents, no matter how mad at you she might get. The relationship between her and the 36 year old man is an unhealthy one that could become harmful to her self esteem and maturity process, so please don't give up because you don't want her to get mad at you. Good luck.

Be a friend and support her choices in life right or wrong in your eyes. Unless he is hurting her physically or forcing her to do things it really isn't for you to say that he isn't right for her. People need to make their own mistakes in order to grow. Eventually this much of an age difference will end in a seperation and she will need a friend not someone saying I told you so.

You don't have to convince her. Make an anonymous tip to the police. She won't be in any trouble, but he will go to jail. Problem solved. And, as a 17 year old girl who thinks she's in love, she'll get over it faster than she would ever imagine would be possible and be much better for it.

Explaining would be quite simple by calling the authorities! She is a minor He is not!

The statement itself should be enough... Im sorry that she doesn't understand and I hope that this is not too close to your home or heart? it is ashame that she doesn't understand why, all on her own. Read through the feeds and show her my personal reason why.... To make a long story short... Its because he is a pedophile and is taking advantage of her as a child.

Look up the 36 year old boyfriend on the sex offender website.

here comes some hate but truth must be spoken. she is making a choice. he is not making her date him, she WANTS to be with him. you want to know pain? try separation from the person you love for no good reason at all. "he's too old for her" who are you to make that decision? if she is old enough to be dating she is old enough to choose who she dates. you people telling this teen she can't be with her love is about as wise as me telling you not to have sex before mairage. you are trying to force your values on someone else and frankly your values are hypocritical. wether she is doing something with someone her own age or with someone older, she is doing the same thing and faces the same consequences... if anything her being with someone more "mature" makes him more likely to take more precautions and responsibility.

to all who have responded thank you either way. But now here is the deal. they married and they have been married for coming up on two years. she is now regretting it all and wants out. HUM i knew this would happen. i am a mother of 3 children i am in my 50's so to all who answered this and thought i didn't know what i was talking about. there YOU go.

!9 years difference is not that much in the later years but at that age there are many reasons it won't work. What do they have in common? Sex won't last.

Good lord have I been here. I spent about 6 months putting all my energy into trying to convince a 17 year old girl her 28 year of boyfriend who worked at a local public school and therefore couldn't tell anyone about the relationship was no good for her. Of course, you have to consider the possibility that the relationship isn't so bad after all, but really you are right. I completely failed and eventually just stopped talking to the girl in question, she had a lot of problems that weren't relevant to me. I'm afraid that, if I'm totally honest, there is no way to convince her; she has to work it out for herself. What you need to figure out is what bearing her relationship has on you, if any, and take steps to ensure that you aren't affected by her mistake. I know this seems selfish, but you've obviously already tried and failed to help her, there's not a lot more you can do.

OMG! Tell her it is illegal. She could get him arrested and for her sake let her think about this. This guy is old enough to be her father. Is he married? If not then im sure she is not the only girl/woman that he is with.

Turn yourself, uh I mean your "Friend" in to authorities, seek conviction and let him get anal raped and killed in prison - then she will hopefully get the message. TM

Nothing, the more you oppose the stronger she will feel about it. Trust me, let her go and she will come back from it, with a lesson.

Be careful about it - and clever. At 17 she probably thinks she knows it all - as we all did at the same age. If you say 'black', she'll say 'white' and if you tell her this bloke is an example of what not to look for in a BF, then there's a good chance that she will choose not to believe you and this will push them further together. Any negative comment from you, however kindly put, is likely to be met with defensiveness and this translates into the 'don't tell me what to do' attitude we all have at 17. So, be clever about it. Resist the urge to slag him off or pass comment about him - force yourself to be polite and avoid conversation with him as the topic. It's going to be a killer for you but as you cannot stop her seeing him (forbid this and she'll probably do it behind your back), it's best that the relationship is conducted in front of you - at least you know about it. Make sure she does not fall pregnant and of course, you do not have to condone him coming to visit at your home. Yes, he may call for her and you will be polite and well mannered but explain that there will be no staying over at your place - not even to watch TV with the family. Make sure she knows how relationships work with a BF - the emotional side as opposed the other stuff - how it should be fun etc etc and also tell her to expect problems to stem from this as the community in general will not be accepting of their relationship. Perhaps you should also consider a private meeting between Mum and Dad and him - adult to adult, so to speak. Make all effort to conduct it calmly and in control of your feelings - she is too young to recognize this for what it is, but he is 36 and 36 year old men should view a 17 year old girl as a child, a kid, because that is what she is. Tell him and be frank and very, very clear - no shouting or name calling but no mincing of words - at all. In short, be kind and respectful to her and ensure she feels like she is being treated as a grown-up and that you realize she's not a little kid any longer and so on. This is not a nice lesson for her to learn so spare her feelings and leave as much of her pride intact as is possibly - it's bad enough already without her feeling like an idiot about it and then, tell him, in no uncertain terms to f** off and never show his face again or you will be reporting him to the Police as a threat to your daughter and other kids. If all else fails, accidently run him over in the car and then charge him for the damage he caused to your wheels.