Ironically when we are desperate for love we rarely find it, and when we least want it we are surrounded by suitors. That is the way life works. You will resent him down the road. To be perfectly honest I have come to resent the spousal unit of a decade or so - there are days I even loath the spousal unit. This is a 'natural' 'normal' part of relationships. The big difference is that we work on our resentments and our loathing, discussing those things, working through them, compromising, communicating and being ever committed too maintaining this marriage in as healthy a state as possible. Regardless of how prepared I wasn't for marriage, I stoically entered into it knowing that for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, being prepared or not "we" the unit not "I" the individual in a unit, would muddle through somehow and that "I" the individual would be much better off being part of a "We". Life rarely, if ever, goes exactly the way we wanted it to. If it did we would mostly be astronauts, fire fighters and ballerinas and horse riders (Common childhood 'I wanna be when I grow up' dreams). Why can you not have fun with him? Unless your idea of fun is casual sex with random partners through a period of a few years doing drugs, drinking in excess running the high risks for STD's and pregnancy, jail or prison time - there should be no reason why you can not 'share' in your life those fun bits as well as those not so fun bits. Most likely if you were alone (never having met him) you would be sitting there wishing you had someone to share your life with and would be asking us why nobody want's you or how to find 'the right person' to share your life with. We humans are rarely satisfied with what we have - we always want something more, something else, or to being in a different situation because we are always wondering IF....