It's very normal to think about other men when you're in a relationship. It's not betrayal; it's biology. At some point in your relationship, your boyfriend has probably been attracted to other women, too. However, I don't think these feelings should be shared, because they can make your partner feel insecure or jealous. As long as you are faithful to one another, it's okay to think about other people sometimes.

I am not sure of your age, but when you are dating anyone, we must all practice fidelity, or walk, there is no gray area when it comes to love. If you have been seeing this other guy behind his back, that is cheating, and how would you feel if he did that to you? If you "loved" your b/f you would not want to see anyone else, nor could you love another. I assume the only answer here is, if you have alot of feelings for another guy, and acting on them, then you should leave your current b/f. Or if you have not acted on, search your heart for the answers and do the right thing.

As long as you aren't flirting with this guy (or anything else) your not betraying your boyfriend, it is very normal to be attracted to other guys, but if you're happy with your bf then stay with him, hopefully your feelings for this other guy will pass.

i am in that situation. i sometimes don't like the other guy and sometimes i do. so my feelings are just al over the place. i live with my bf. and i wish i wasn't cuz it would make things so much easier. i hope i can and will do the right thing. i don't want to break up but sometimes i do. and if i do i don't want to date anyone. i have issues that need to be worked on

You are betraying him. Be stand up and do the right thing until you know what it is you want. You will feel much less compromised and lose that discontentment you carry with you now.

i am in the same bloooody position. ive been with my bf for over a year..yet theres this guy who is soooo sweet and might i add sexy. me n my bf were havn some problems so i turned to this other guy..lately ive been hinting that i want to spend time with this other guy..n he says..you hava boyfriend it wudnt be right..and its true. but i cant help thinking about this othr guy..hes so charming.. i love my boyfriend but hes in school n we cant see eachother that often. i feel like if i break up ill make the biggest mistake of my life. yet if i stay my crush is in the back of my head..im so confused. i wud never ever cheat but it wud be soo eazy if i cud. all 3 of us work together n my crush is afraid of letting people know that we hang out n txt/call eachother. i get it but sometimes i just dnt care..i think i kno what i shud do but advice is always good..man..i dnt wana get hurt n i dnt want to hurt anyone.

i am in the same bloooody position. ive been with my bf for over a year..yet theres this guy who is soooo sweet and might i add sexy. me n my bf were havn some problems so i turned to this other guy..lately ive been hinting that i want to spend time with this other guy..n he says..you hava boyfriend it wudnt be right..and its true. but i cant help thinking about this othr guy..hes so charming.. i love my boyfriend but hes in school n we cant see eachother that often. i feel like if i break up ill make the biggest mistake of my life. yet if i stay my crush is in the back of my head..im so confused. i wud never ever cheat but it wud be soo eazy if i cud. all 3 of us work together n my crush is afraid of letting people know that we hang out n txt/call eachother. i get it but sometimes i just dnt care..i think i kno what i shud do but advice is always good..man..i dnt wana get hurt n i dnt want to hurt anyone.

To risk sounding heartless while trying to answer concisely... just because you window shop, doesn't mean you're trying the dress on, or buying it. Be honest with your boyfriend. You don't have to be embarrassed about being physically attracted to a guy you know, any more than you have to be embarrassed about a celebrity crush. My husband and I have a great relationship like that, we are constantly "appraising" people we see... and I'll agree with him that a girl has great legs, and he agrees that a guy has great toned arms. No harm done, just appreciating the beauty of thhe world around us.

I know how you feel. I am in the same situation, and wanted to see what other people did in this situation. Sometimes it helps me to sort of look into the future and think about what it would be like if I did break up with my boyfriend (of 2.5 years) and be with this guy. I know I would want my other boyfriend back- there is a reason he and I have been together for so long. He lives like 2 hours away so we can't see each other all the time, but this other guy I see like a few times a week- so I know I can be fooled into thinking about this other guy so much just because he is there. But back to what I was saying, if I think about life with this other guy I know I would not be happy- I know that in this situation I just want what I dont have- the grass always looks greener on the other side. I think realizing that could prevent you from making the mistake of breaking up with your boyfriend. MY advise from my current experience is this: as terribly hard as it may seem, stop talking to this guy when you are not around him. If you see this guy at school or wherever you see him, you may talk to him casually there if you want, like don't completely ignore him. I used to text this guy I have had a crush on and we used to talk a lot and I realized I could not get him out of my mind, then something happened where he saw my bf and I together and it really hurt him and he said he couldn't talk to me and we stopped talking and actually didn't see each other randomly for like 3 weeks. I eventually stopped thinking about him so much because I Wasn't wondering when he would text or call or whatever. I felt so much more free- and my relationship with my bf was so much better- I realized how much I really loved him without this other guy constantly on my mind. *I'm sorry this is so long!* I recently saw this guy again and when I left he texted me "it was good seeing you...." and that made it really hard for me, because I all of a sudden started thinking about him again. But I have to just remind myself to be realistic about this. I have been in enough relationships to know that it would not work between me and this guy. I am very blessed with my current boyfriend- we have so much in common, he is hot and sweet and wonderful to talk to. We laugh together and understand each other very well and he loves me very much. I know this other guy could never take his place, but I still love this other guy's attention so I keep holding on to thoughts of him. I guess the point here is that you just need to do the hard thing. I know you may think of him as a good friend, but it just can't work if there is attraction between you two. And he is not a good friend if he wants to break up a good think you have between you and your boyfriend. Just do the hard thing- you willbe happy you did and feel so much freer-- the hard thing I am talking about is just stop talking to him- treat him like any other acquaintance. Look into the future- imagine how you would feel breaking up with the bf you love very much for this guy who could not even work out- or maybe you wouldn't even like this guy that much once you got with him and start looking at other guys or want your old bf back. It is just not worth it. I told my bf about my friendship with this guy- but then I found myself deleting text messages on my phone from this guy before I saw my bf- that is a true sign that something wasn't right. you don't want to lie to your bf. I am happy you don't want to even consider cheating on him. Just do the hard thing and understand that not talking and not thinking about him will get easier with time. Good luck! I admire you. I know it is SO hard. PS: I am 22, if that puts things in perspective.

Ive been with my bf for a 1,5 years now.. Half a year ago i started havin a crush on my co-worker... cause he was so sweet and supportive when my bf wasnt really payin much attention to what was goin on in my life... I told my boyfriend about my crush. And it was a huge mistake.. we stayed together though.. So i talked to a guy couple of weeks ago, told him that im havin a crush on him. I felt free to make a choice who do i wanna stay with. I chose my bf. I love him i just cant leave him no matter how bad it gets. And i realized i dont find the other guy interestin... hes borin.. flirtin, bein sweet is one thing.. But thats all. He is stalkin me now at work=) tryin to make me leave my bf for him. So.. i just ignore him. We're not gonna be friends and no matter how nice and sweet he is im not actin on it anymore.

Is there anyone who thinks it would be alright for her to give into temptation? Anyone?? I don't personally think it is right, but it's amazing to me that every single person who replies to these kinds of messages is 100% absolutely against it. I'm just looking for a different point of view. Come on, is there really anything in this world so absolutely black and white? Come on non-conformists, lets hear your response.

Even I am having b.f but again I am also in the same position I am attracted towards another guy who is also very sweet and caring as my b.f .But still I want to think about other guy I don't know sometimes it really arises a question in my mind that am I betraying him?

im with my bf for almost 3 years and im sooo confused..i really love my bf but theres this other guy..i just cant help myself when i see him..i cant stop staring..thinking about him..he has a crush on me too but i stopped talking to him to avoid any problems..but when hes around i cant stop being occupied by staring..smiling..thinking about him. i think my bf notices that i have a crush on the other guy..i try to avoid him but i cant..btw..the other guy is really flirty and usually has a lot of flings but yet i have very strong feelings for him. i dont know what to do.. i just wanna be away from him because he distracts me from my own relationship with my faithful and loving bf. :( i cant wait to grow out of this..im 18

However the situation is dont leave the person who loves you so much.You may be attracted to other guy but he will leave u one day saying about ex-relationship or something else may happen which you make you cry as you made the good person cried.You cant love 2 person at a time. The main reason behind these thoughts-being attracted to other person is lack of affection or kind of bitterness between u and ur loved one.In someway u would have been frustrated by him or her and ur expectations were not met.That is the only reason WHEN I PERSON IN LOVE WITH ONE GUY WILL GET ATTRACTED BY OTHER ONE. speak to ur loved one frankly what u like and dislike.Never cheat urself by cheating a person. U may be attracted to one person today and fall in love with him and later u may feel u r being attacted to other guy and if u dump ur loved one and tomrrow if that other guy after u start loving each otherif he falls in love with any other gal will you accept?????????????????????????????.

I used to think this was something that wouldn't happen once I found a really good, solid, long-term relationship. I'm 3.5 years into a good relationship now, and for the first year or so I actually really didn't find myself attracted to anyone else... but right around the 1 year mark I did, a guy at work. I freaked out and was really worried that I was attracted to him, but realized it was normal. That one never had a chance of going somewhere anywhere so it just kind of fizzled out. Then it happened again with a guy who was definitely making moves on me, and it was a drunken night and it was kind of hard to sort out all the feelings I was having. Nothing ended up happening that night and the next day the guy moved away. Then it just happened to me again; I met a guy recently who I definitely felt a "chemistry" with immediately, and I was trying not to think about it. I kind of felt like he might like me but he is pretty friendly to lots of girls so I ignored it. Last night, in another drunken night, he gets very touchy feely and grabs me aside and tells me how he's in love with me and all this. It was difficult because I wanted him to know that I did respect his feelings and even somewhat have the same feelings but also know that it COULDNT happen, you know? He listened and respected it, but it's still really hard to deal with because I have to curb my own feelings or I'll just get myself in trouble and lead him on. I guess what I'd say first and foremost is: it is totally normal and doesn't signal something bad with your relationship. If you examine your relationship and determine that there really is something wrong, then maybe it is a good time to think about breaking up or working on the relationship. But if nothing is wrong, try to just ride it out; the feelings will probably fade, and try not to play with fire. Also, this pretty much always happened to me at a time when I wasn't really spending much time with my boyfriend--usually it wasn't even really anyone's "fault", just a situation or circumstance that made it harder to hang out, or not as fun when we did. So I think it's good to keep in mind that this could be part of the reason to look externally for attention or fulfillment and try to instead seek that with your current partner before giving up. The truth is, I just don't think it's worth leaving something good for something uncertain, no matter how exciting or romantic it may seem. If your current relationshp really isn't that great after all, and another person outside of it helps you see this, then that's different; it may be worth trying something else for a while. But if you can't see anything wrong with your relationship then it's not worth it at all. And on the note of whether to share with your current boyfriend: I say no. I wouldn't mind saying something vague later on like "oh yeah, this one guy i think kind of likes me but... it doesn't really matter" or whatever. I probably wouldn't go through the details nor admit that I'd ever felt attracted back.

i'm in a 5 year-relationship and i admit that today i'm struggling for this feeling im having with another guy. but this i believe will soon pass.. the thing is to not entertain and recognize your feelings with the other. sometimes we mistake infatuation with true love thus confusion comes in. begin to ask yourself: Are you willing to give up the great relationship that you have long built and start again with one w/c is still uncertain? what goes around, comes around. good karma for everyone. :)

girls need the perspective from a guy that is actually in the situation, my ex gf had a bf for 3 years and started loving him around a year and a half but the last year he had been more of a friend than anything else not interested in her or didn't care to try, they finally broke up and she decided to try something with me, i belive it or not have been nothing but good to her, i have made sure that anything she wants or needs she has, never once have i chose friends over her, and i even took her on vacation when she said she needed one no questions asked, she said i had treated her better than anyone in her life, and she started loving me or so she says, but a few days ago he asked her to go back because now he realized what he had, all this because he saw i was with her now, i love her and i know it and the hardest thing for me to do was let her go even though she never asked, i just want her to be happy, but she wants to try getting back with him without loosing me, i decided to stick around just as a friend but its killing me, but im willing to stay around. truth is when a guy really cares he will do anything, anytime for the rest of his life, so if you feel he isn't carying anymore give your self a shot you wont know if another guy will do things like my self unless you try, and if the other guy turns out to be a jerk, dump his ass and look for another one, there is millions of them and there is good ones still, you just have to recognize them, and when you get that one that is willing to be there for you dont ever dought in him and loose him because you feel what you had once will ever come back, once the spark is gone there is nothing left.

you are not betraying him, its completely normal to want other people, the truth is that its only a fisical atraction, try to develope ways to keep your relationship fresh, do differnt things in different places, you stop caring when you stop bein spontaneuos and creative, it he is up to it make him dress up like other people or something, you will feel like you have them all in one person, and that will make you less interested in them and more in love with him.

I'm so glad I googled this! I feel so much better knowing I'm not the only person who is in this situation! I live with my boyfriend as well. He goes to school throughout the week so I hardly ever see him. When he comes home he only wants to play video games and relax. Meanwhile, I've been at the apartment doing nothing and want to go out! It seems as if we bicker none stop about the most retarded things as of late. It's frustrating and hard. I've been with him for almost 2 years now. I have this guy friend back home and he's always been kinda flirty with me but lately he has been showing me a little more attention than usual. Why now?! It seems as if this guy from back home only gives me this attention when I have a boyfriend or when I'm on a break with my boyfriend. And it's never constant. He'll come over to hang out with my brother (he'll say he's over for that) but always text messages me things, flirting with me. I think it's because it's new and fresh that makes it so... desirable. I think about breaking things off with my boyfriend, but I know that if I did something like that I would regret it. It would hurt so bad to see my boyfriend with anyone else. That is the thing that stops me. Is that even a good excuse? I'm afraid that if I do break things off with my boyfriend and want to date this guy from back home that suddenly he'll be not interested for some reason. He's hot and cold about me it seems. His brother's tell me that because I have a boyfriend he doesn't want to lead me on... But some of the texts he sends me are quite brash. I wouldn't cheat. I'm not a cheater. But I daydream about doing it and it doesn't seem that bad. That sounds so horrible! And it's not like I don't want the guy from back home to hang around me... I do like the attention, but I'm sick of it being off and on. Maybe that's a good thing. But I don't like being led on. I think for him it's just a lust/infatuation thing. And I've also told my boyfriend that I'm afraid of our relationship will lose it's spark if we don't do something. All he says is "Well if we do something spontaneous now then that's all we'll want to do." Ugh! What is that supposed to mean?! That we just let our relationship try to work itself out without doing anything? That doesn't make sense. I want him to do simple things out of the ordinary. But I don't think he will and I can't do this alone.

I'm really glad i found this as well i'm not the only person lol...i met my bf (of 10 months)and things are good..except the sex part. i feel like im losing the spark between us but he's a great, loving guy who treats me so good..but theres this other guy that comes to the office few times a week and we talk and not all i think about this guy, he even confessed to me that he liked me when i started working there and wanted to ask me out, but my bf beat him to me...after he confesses and tells me all this ive been thinking of him even more, and i feel so guilty, and yet, when i see him and talk to him i forget everything and dont care...i also dont know what to do cuz i love my bf, and yet im also thinking more and more about this guy...