ANSWERS: 10
  • Negotiate. Ask them what it will take for them to give you this privilege. Or when they'll give you this privilege.
  • see if she will sit down and have a ciggiritte with you and talk and try to work things out ok.
  • First off, count your blessings that you have a mother who cares about you so much. IMing and texting are overrated but Mom does sound a little over the top. You may have to show her that you are trustworthy and responsible before she'll loosen her grip willingly. Offer to do more around the house, errands to stores farther than your friend's house, etc. Previous suggestion re having a sitdown sounds good too, but after you've demonstrated your abilities.
  • IM and texting over the phone can be expensive. She may not be able to afford it. If it's over the internet, she has a right to be concerned. Perverted-Justice.com gets into chatrooms every day pretending to be minors and criminals and sexual offenders start IMing them almost immediately. Cyberspace can be dangerous for the unsavvy. As to walking to your friend's house, compromise. First, find out if the problem is your friend or the walk. If it's the walk, ask if the neighborhood is dangerous. If so, consider meeting your friend half way or walking with someone else. Ask your mother or older sibling to walk with you. Compromise and reason work wonders. If it works with the walking, ask your mother to educate you about the dangers of the internet and maybe even provide software to block unsafe situations. My daughters and I had an arrangement where they entered no public chatrooms and could only accept IMs from preapproved lists...the friends they knew personally.
  • My mom was the same way. Now that I'm in college, we've become pretty good friends, though we don't see each other as often. Just give it time and try to compromise for now. See her perspective. For instance, maybe she'll let your friend come to your house instead of you going there.
  • sit down with your daughter and have a ciggiritte together and talk maybe if you and your daughter had a cigiritte together every night and talked maybe that would help yours and your daughters relashionship.
  • Talk to her about the whole trust issues thing. You never know her reasoning for not letting you do simple things. She's your mom and she just doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.
  • I felt the same way when I was your age. I was in a very strict household and because it didn't seem to change (even though I was a pretty good kid), I started to rebel more and more. I finally left when I was 17 and didn't even speak to my parents for years. Now, that I'm older we do speak but only like 2 times a year. It's sad and it still hurts. So make your choices wisely and think of the long-term. The more you share with your mom, the better she will feel. Try to continue to build her confidence in you and she should come around. Good luck!
  • no answer but i'm a fourteen year old girl and my mom caught me on the phone with a friend the other day and she started screaming and cursing at me. I'm not allowed out of the house and have not been to a friend's house in ages... i rejoice when she leaves me alone at the house because i have peace and quiet and can be myself... dating is out of the question and when i go to school all my friends are soooooo happy and i'm just sitting there listening to what they did over the weekend... it's sad when i have to make up stories to try to fit in. i've contimplated suicide before and i'm always deppressed. I have no life i'm always at home and i try to have a good and happy attitude about life on the outside even though i know i'm not... please help...
  • Although it's good for parents to protect their children, being overprotective is just as damaging as being too permissive. How does your mom expect you to be an independent, functioning adult if she won't let you practice by taking small steps towards independence? If your mother restricts all interactions with your friends (i.e. won't let them come over to your house, etc.), you may be dealing with a possessive, co-dependent mother. If she smothers you too much, you may not learn how to make decisions and navigate the world on your own. Walking half a mile down the street is not that dangerous (unless you live in a bad neighborhood), and it will allow you to get some exercise. Maybe you could talk to her about it and offer to call her when you get to the friend's house. ETA: I do understand why she wouldn't let you text, because it is expensive. But IMing would not be that bad. Why don't you ask her if you can use IM but restrict your conversations to people that you know personally?

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