First of all set down the rules and do not let them vary. If a spouse is involved then both the parents must agree on how the discipline will be administered. A solid parental front will stop the child from running back and forth between parents seeking a yes answer. If he does not do as told or complete his assigned work then start with the computer and then move on to any other item that seems to take his interest awy from what he is obligated to do. Make him understand that for every action or inaction there will be a reaction with consequences to follow. He won't be happy but oh well he won't be happy when he grows up and cannot find a job where he can support himself. Both parents have to do this or it will fail. It is called TOUGH LOVE. I had to do this with my son and his atari game when his school grades started falling because of his constant playing of the game. I told him that if his grades did not improve then he would lose the atari game. They did not improve and while he was playing I went and ripped wires and all loose from his tv and put it in the trash. Better to throw away $300 dollars worth o equiopment than throw away a life. Mr Bill

come on. this is easy. take away his access to the computer and tv. he'll straighten up real quick!

A friend of mine whose children have both done very well educationally (both went to Cambridge university) used to only allow her son his computer in the school holidays. Both children have grown up well adjusted and respectful to their parents. I never noticed the parents as being over bearing either you know the sort that are so strict the children go behind their backs. However, all children are different and 14 is not the easiest of ages, I remember if I asked my son to do something he only did it if it suited him. Yet prior to that he had always been reasonably thoughtful. I hope that you can find some middle ground that works for you both.

Be the parent! Make rules and stick to them. Kids need structure and direction ... along with love. Some of us try to be "friends" with our kids and not parents! Take charge and mean it!

Unplug the computer and tough love his rear right now or it will get worse. Put limitations on him and let him know he can earn freedom through the show of maturity and taking responsibility. Make him sit in front of you and do his homework. He is challenging you and you can not let him win at that. You are the parent. It will be hard to do and hurt as we have to do these things, but they save our children in the long run.