Do you think it's possible to be too good to a partner? I dote on my boyfriend insanely. (massages, cooking...) He seems to love it. I am very old fashioned, but do have a fiery side you would not believe. what is the balance?
by 
Patty
ANSWERS: 8
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As long as he does, or would do, the same for you, no, I do not believe you can be too good. The scales are tipped when you neglect your needs in lue of his.
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As long as he does things for you as well you will be fine. No relationship should be 1 sided. Just be carefully because some people can grow to expect it instead of appreciate it.
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I think it's possible to be too good to an UNDESERVING partner. Other than that, no, it's not possible.
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You have had some good responses here. I would add, if you feel resentment for him then there is an imbalance. If you are content, then it is working the way it is just fine.
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So are you trying to say that you give him all the old fashioned spa-type treatments and then rag on him incessantly afterward? Thats kinda wrong. Firey, has nothing to do with doing nice things for someone you love, unless that "fiery side." is counteracting the good things and therefore rendering them useless immediately afterward??? The "balance" Then would be to do what you do because you want to do it, not as compensation for your fiery outbursts. If that is what you are saying at all... Im not sure so don't get angry... ?????
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It is possible to be too good to someone if it's unreciprocated, or taken for granted and expected as the norm. I have been in many situations where I have been "too nice" to girlfriends and got little of the same consideration and appreciation in return. Unfortunately, it can cause a lot of resentment and unhappiness. It's difficult for people (especially the one being "too nice") to change their nature, especially after setting that kind of precedent in a relationship. I know I will probably never be able to change my nature, I am seen by people as too nice, too generous, etc. My only hope is that I end up with someone that is very similar to me in that respect, otherwise I will most certainly end up very unhappy.
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Well what I mean by saying that I am fiery is that if he does anything that is disrespectful, or out of line, I will in no way hesitate to correct him. I can be very aggressive normally. withthe people I love I am very kind and caring, otherwise I am very assertive. Another thing that I wanted to add is that he never asks for my attention (well sometimes a rub or to be touched). He is not demanding, and good to me. We like all couples have our problems, but I don't want him to get too spoiled
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Is he giving you as much as you are giving him? Would he feel put upon if he had to give as much as you are giving him? That is the balance.
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