First let me stress that the way you feel falls well within nominal parameters - What that means is I validate your feelings. What you are going through is called the Kübler-Ross model or the Five Stages of Tragedy/Grief. Initially applied to the loss of loved ones,a s time has worn on more therapists and doctors have come to an understanding that other stressors and losses. Loss of a job, stress of an infidelity in a relationship, even such mundane things as spilling a glass of milk can manifest the stages - although for most people spilled milk doesn't, it can. Those stages are: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Although usually the order in which these are laid out above is the order that these stages take place, there are a lot of times when people go back and forth, skip a step, go back a step, get stuck in a step. I think you may not have reached the acceptance stage and are back in the anger stage. Frankly I suspect that in order for you to reach acceptance is going to require therapy (Definitely especially with the added interest of these 'gentle reminders') AND a major change. That Major change can manifest itself as 'new rules' to the relationship. since he betrayed your trust the relationship has changed in profound ways, and he must - (must, not should, not could if he wanted to - MUST) earn that trust again. It seems to me that he is running to these girls he is NOT earning your trust. That Major change can be leaving him. I do not know what you need in order to 'fix' your feelings. I do not know if a change in the relationship as in laying out new rules will be enough. Sadly once a person does sleep around on their partner, their partner never forgets and it plays in their mind. When he is late, you suspect he's 'doing it again'. If he suddenly has to go to work - the old suspicion rises up. I'm certain many other innocent actions would trigger this 'gut feeling' and it will ALWAYS bring with it the pain and the frustration and the resentment. Although I can understand why he gets MAD when you broach the subject, the fact is that he still owes you a lot to regain even a fraction of your trust. His unwillingness to talk is doing far more damage and he must be made aware that you NEED to talk about this, and talk some more, and some more and work through these emotions - and even scream at him and yell at him and tell him you do not trust him until you finish up with those five steps and reach the acceptance point. At that point, and only at that point, can you even begin to move on. If you can not reach that point, then this affair will continue to be a huge thorn in the side of the relationship, slowly bleeding it to death.

Youve got the rigth to be angery, and youve got the right to not trust him as muhc. But try taking this time to build the relationship back up (after weighing if this is important enough), sit him down and calmly ecplain to him how you feel. Being very ignorant on the buject, I doubt my advice wil have any importance, but I feel that if this is a guy that you feel you cant ocmmunicate with freely (expressing yourself), you shouldnt be with him. Its not as if oyu did anythign wrong (from how it sounds) theres no eason why you should fear howll he'll react. In fact, I feel like HE hsould fear how YOU'LL react towards him and should spend time buiklding up the relationship. If he's not matching the amount youre giving, try talking it out or reconsider.