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Help answer this question below.
Slop you know my story..Lost my son and lost my marriage, lost every thing and I'm still kickin'. If I can do it, I know damn sure you can budddy.
make new friends and if possible JOIN A CHURCH or group it may sound corny abut alot of times those are the ppl that will make u feel most loved AND with minimal judgement as opposed to your family who while they may love u will not forget things that youve done in years passed....it feels good to have a clean slate
There is an old Chinese expression ... "Empty space leaves more room for the imagination, and in time, imagination becomes reality."
... carefully choose what you imagine may be a better type of a personal life for yourself in the future, then strive in the present to achieve it ...
Hey buddy, thats when we turn to our friends, and try to make it day by day, we can make it, we just have to want to make it buddy.
when my battery's empty, i can't spin the spark plugs. i need others to jump start me ...
It is not about finding new friends or another s/o. That void was created by Him for Him alone.
Realize that noone is perfect, love yourself, and be true to you.If you can learn to love yourself then others will be drawn to you.
I USUALLY PRAY AND FEEL THE GODS PRESSENCE. JUST SAY DEAR GOD AND U JUST FEEL YOUR SHOULDERS FEEL LIGHTER. AND THE OTHER THING I DO IS CRY,CRY,CRY THAN DEDICATE A LETTER TO THAT PERSON, WIRTE ALL MY FEELINGS AND TEAR IT UP. IT JUST FEEL RELIVING FOR ME.
Get out of bed, look good, walk tall, sorround myself with positive people ONLY, Keep busy with activities that will better you myself as a person (volunteer work, outdoor activities) etc. Prayer and Meditation also goes along way. - I have been down this road many times but you know what? so have lots of other people and we all have to "dust ourselves off and try again".
I hope this question is not describing you. You have your girls, right? Plus, you have all of us.
Think of the nice things that you haven't lived yet and your dreams that still haven't come true and try to make them a reality.Find some new hobbies, try to do things that make you happy,cantact a REAL friend of yours... hmmm can't think of anything else.I wish that you find hope and love again.Good night.
Its called alchoal
One day at the time. The pain, the guilt and regrets are always hidden and ready to come out when less expected. For me, it seems that the void will never be filled again. But, life has challenges that can be fulfilling. Life still enjoyable.
Yes, i know that moment..
In the beginning i did let myself to go into these moments: deep sorry for myself, big regrets of what i've done and anger on myself cause i didn't have more patience, i should have had... all these led me to dark sorrow. Belive me no point to do this!
Then i realised it won't help ME if i keep doing this later on. So everytime i felt this moment come again scienter started to think on MY, single future.. every good way which can happen with me. New job, new partner, new life, etc..
Try to imagine yourself in a good future, but try to be realistic, you know you limits. But once if you can see yourself in a nice future you can think on it, you have a helping rope to grab if you need it.
Also... i red above somewhere it's so true: we have to want to make it!
Good luck!
Keep going. When you stop, you can't pick up anything positive; you'll only allow negative things to come to you. Keep moving forward, taking the bad experiences and turning them into positive lessons on life. Don't give up.
You go into autopilot mode..How to fill the void...I don't know what to tell you. :)
Well, I've been there. All I can tell you is this: time heals many bad feelings. I hope the best for you!
Recreate yourself...make new goals new friends, find a hobby, sometimes we need a change.
Dirty,sweaty,meaningless sex is how I fill the void...
That is a good question... and I think that we all come accross this at some point in our lives!!! I feel that people have to fell love and know loss before they truely know what they had!!!! You should feel lucky to have had such a great love... and know that just because you have lost it doesnt mean that you wont come accross a better more true love.... in the future.... learn from what happend and try to keep a positive view of things... nothing good can come of bad thoughts RIGHT!!!!!
KEEP YOURSELF BUSY...dwelling on the past hurts...but what hurts more is you jsut thinking about it ...about how you could of made it work ...go out buy a book ...perhaps you can go for a walk in the park ...
keep ur self busy ...
i fill the void with chocolate. probably not healthy, but it works.
You cant fill the void......I say mourn your loss.....for how long it takes. People can give you suggestions but doing things doesnt really help. Talking about it helps immensely. Talk to a friend or even a therapist. The Cliche "Time heals all wounds" actually works. You'll still feel the pain but one day you'll notice it wont be as intense.
I play video games and lose myself (so to speak) in the story. It's getting harder and harder to do, though, as most games are made for the gameplay now, not the story.
My friend, you haven't lost anything. If everyone in your life who has 'abandoned' you is still alive, you can repair the relationships that are severed. They must have loved you a lot once and they probably still do. Honestly, it's hard for me to understand your situation because when I lose someone close, I'm usually the one who pushes them away. But I don't want you to have no one in your life. Explain your situation to those people whose relationships you valued most, and they will listen. Just give them time. Nothing worth doing is simple or quickly done.
Most people will tell you to go to your friends for support in a time like this. It does honestly help, and we all need to do that from time to time. But I'll tell you this: learn how to support yourself. A person with a broken leg needs to go through weeks of pain and rehabilitation before being able to walk unassisted. If you go to the people you know for help, you eventually need to be able to live on your own. You loved the relationships you had but if, God forbid, they cannot be repaired, then there is nothing good that will come from you lingering on the ghosts of the past. Move on, when the time comes to. Your life shouldn't revolve around everyone around you because when they are gone, all you have is yourself. But its nice to have friends. We don't have to be friends, but I'm here, if anything. Not forever, of course, and when I stop logging on for one unfortunate reason or another, you'll have to move on then too.
I hope you do well to repair your relationships and move on. Depression is not fun, I know that from experience. Just hang on. If you don't know how, believe that you do. Don't give up.
You just live one day at a time and try to get through it .
"Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness."
My friend, hang on to hope. I'm sure you have a very long life ahead of you and wallowing in sorrows will not make them easier, or enjoyable. Like everyone else is telling you, you can look to your friends. You can also start believing in something greater than yourself, such as God. Or you can realize that attachment to earthly things is not necessary and then try not so much to focus on things in this world. We lose riends and family and things but not everything has to bother us, or else everyone would be depressed all the time.
Choose wisely. And always hope. Don't lose your faith in the world just yet...
Talk to your friends and try and stay occupied.:-)+
keep busy... anything, you cant lie down to this sloppy. You have lots of friends here who care - sometimes things are not as bad as they first seem. x
I thought that three times during my high school years.The next ten I just dated. I've been married to my present wife for twenty five years now. Moral of the story is; don't give up. When one door closes another one opens.
With my Love it is not of this world ..but in Heaven I Died just for you..seek me and all will be added to you. God gave you Jesus so you can Live with Him..John 3:16..May God richly Bless you
Drugs
We need more input here How old are you ? What do you mean 'lost everything'? Material or just a relationship ? If the latter, get involved with something-volunteer work can be very rewarding. If you want a friend, BE a friend.
i enjoy this quote by C.S. Lewis :
"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and probably be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the coffin or casket of your selfishness. But in that casket -- safe, dark, motionless, airless -- it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.... The only place outside heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is hell."
U didn't lose everything. Take the time to think about the things u should b thankful for. Like it life and ur house and whatever else u have that u had b4 u were with that person is something u could think about. A person isn't everything so just move on, go out, live life and enjoy yourself because u don't deserve 2b anything but happy.
Buy/adopt a dog.
go shopping.
Get it all back
All i can say is time heals everything! It may feel like nothing will ever be right again and that that void will never be filled, but trust me, it will! I find its easier to talk to someone about the problem. Best friends can make everything better! Talk to them. Sit down with them and tell them everything and then after that forget it. After that, dont dwell on the past because it will only make things harder. So I suggest keeping yourself busy. Surrounding yourself with people that you love and that love you back. Basically just going out. It can be going to the movies, going out for dinner with a few friends, or just having a quite night at home watching Tv or chating on the internet. It's a hard thing to go through and the best things to help are pizza, ice cream and good friends!!
Time heals everything. Start finding someone to love is a good way to fill the void. Don't be discourage. Don't think too deep about them when you start remember those moments. Take them as good memories.
Go outside yourself. See if you can be of help to others. If you focus on others and can benefit them in some way, your sorrows will not seem that important..helping others is the best way to help yourself. Happy Sunday! :)
Slop, you haven't lost everything...life continues on and the proof is all you need to do is look outside your window and see all the people out there walking and running to get somewhere. They are also looking for someone as well. You need to put yourself in the crowd everyday and see where your journey takes you. Be brave and leave your empty place and begin a new journey. You will be so surprised at what you find and who you'll meet. You must say hi first sometimes to get it going.
reborn yourself. Think of it this way. I am reborn, how do i want to start this new life? And something will light up inside you and you will see new open doors. There is a saying which i love alot: "WE STARE AT CLOSE DOOR TOO MUCH THAT WE MISS NOTICING THE OPEN ONES."
volunteer your time helping others, and meet new people along the way!
Love yourself. It's in this time that it is time to rediscover yourself. Learn who you are all over again. Start a new hobby, do something you always wanted to do. Don't start or look for a new relationship right away, which may end in disaster. Be the free spirit you always wanted to be. Quit your job and start that business you always wanted to start, change your location, start anew, just totally reinvent yourself and love who you are. Be the spiritual being that you are and communicate your wants to your creator. Have faith and everything good will come to you.
First, try everything you can to return those people.
If that doesn't work, you can create a whole different life and identity for yourself... basically start anew. Make sure you don't owe anyone you know anything, or if you do, pay back (you know -- car/house payments, that sort of thing). Once you're done -- sever all connections, move, get a new job, and new friends, change everything in your life -- to benefit you, rather than crappy people who don't deserve it.
I know what I'm saying may seem heartless or hard or impossible, but I have seen way too many times people that are stuck in horrible marriages, bad jobs, depressing relationships, and their unwillingness to change anything also stops them from enjoying anything, sometimes for the rest of their life.
I hope this helped.
Improvise. When I write a story, I dont plan what I'm going to write, I just do it, and that's when I like my stories the most. Your only plan should be to get your life back, or start making a better one. Thats's all you need to know. The rest isn't for you to decide. Whatever happens will happen, so don't worry about those things. All you can do is pray and be confident if you do something. Like I said, always hope...
You do the only thing you can do ... Keep on going, and hold those friends you do have even closer than before ... Because together you'll make it through any storm.
((((((((((((((Sloppywet))))))))))))))))))))
Whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger
Fill the car with gasoline, empty your bank account, call and make overnight reservations and head to a casino. its fun and you will lose all your bad memories there, especially if you hit a big jackpot.
Money has a strange way of making everything all right.
HE SAID HE DIDN'T WANT TO COMMIT.
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Why do guys hang out with women that they have no intention of dating (for months or years) and then play with their minds or reject them?
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You're reading When your all alone' an you realize that you lost everything that you loved, how do you keep going? what can i do to fill the empty void?
Comments
(((hugs)))
by Mentalmum is back on August 3rd, 2008
Thank you your highness :)
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
and well done you!!!
by Mentalmum is back on August 3rd, 2008
Thanks, he's my buddy can't let him down. Now if I can just stop him from being so naughty. :)
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
lol.. i know he feels really down, makes you feel kinda helpless doesnt it?? you need to give him a good talking to!
by Mentalmum is back on August 3rd, 2008
I've been trying to do that for awhile now. He's just plain ol' hard headed.
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
Yes he is. He has at least two people in his house that love him very much.
by Cleopatra-Queen of Denial on August 3rd, 2008
So kick his ass, and show him how much, and if that don't work beat him up along side of the head!! That might work maybe.
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
hear hear!!!!!!!!!!
by Mentalmum is back on August 3rd, 2008
Thank you your highness, I'm glad someone approves :)
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
of course :)
by Mentalmum is back on August 3rd, 2008
I'm so smart............... or maybe a smart ---
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
haha, not at all!!!
by Mentalmum is back on August 3rd, 2008
Thank you :)
by j ninja... on August 3rd, 2008
I have been trying to show him. It is almost like he won't let me love him.
by Cleopatra-Queen of Denial on August 3rd, 2008
he's keeping the door closed??? some men are like that cleo, they really want to open up but just cant do it.. its a problem!
by Mentalmum is back on August 4th, 2008
It hurts me for him to think he has lost everything he loves. What about me? Our son? We love him and always will. He has no problem opening up about some things. If he doesn't figure it out I may be gone too. I will not keep his son from him though if it comes to that. He would still see him anytime he wants.
by Cleopatra-Queen of Denial on August 4th, 2008
One word, therapist. If he's that depressed, he needs one, now.
by Shavale is very happy on August 4th, 2008
yeah but some people dont want to talk to a therapist.. what then???
by Mentalmum is back on August 5th, 2008
There are a couple of reasons why he does not want to talk to a therapist. One, they may give him medication and he does not want to take all kinds of pills and be doped up. Number two, he is worried that they will think he is crazy. Which he isn't.
by Cleopatra-Queen of Denial on August 5th, 2008
ive spoken to lots of people who dont want help from counsellors or therapists.... some like to try to deal with life on their own, without medication i mean.
by Mentalmum is back on August 5th, 2008
I just wish he could get past it. It is hurting us.
by Cleopatra-Queen of Denial on August 6th, 2008
i can imagine.. hang in there cleo, it will be fine, eventually :)
by Mentalmum is back on August 6th, 2008
All wounds heal in time, some just take longer than others.
by Shavale is very happy on August 6th, 2008
See I'm trying to tell him just that, but the hard head won't listen.
by j ninja... on August 7th, 2008
its easy for us to say i suppose, but when you are the one feeling the hurt its not so simple is it??
by Mentalmum is back on August 7th, 2008
Tell him 7 times a day, everyday. And at least three times a day, get him to repeat it. It might be pseudo-psychology, but it works.
by Shavale is very happy on August 7th, 2008
No I guess your right. They tried to tell me and my head and heart wouldn't listen.. Until the Doc. put me on very mild anti-depression, shit kept going around and around in my head but after just alittle bit of time I was calmed down enough to listen to reason. Now I'm not taking it anymore and able to reason things out.
by j ninja... on August 7th, 2008
good for you and well done js!! (((hugs)) you know that feeling all too well - now i understand why you care like you do. Its good sloppy has friends like you - he is very lucky.
by Mentalmum is back on August 7th, 2008
Thank you, unless you have been there.. kinda like walking in the other person moccasin's for awhile thing.
by j ninja... on August 7th, 2008
i so agree! its fine for us folks here to dish out what a person should/should not do but unless you have been in the position you dont really know whats going on do you??
by Mentalmum is back on August 7th, 2008
Now I know why they call you the MentalQueenMum. Thanks
by j ninja... on August 7th, 2008
I have been in such a position, trust me, my method works. At least it did (help me start, at least) for me.
by Shavale is very happy on August 7th, 2008
lol!!! its worth a try shavale..anything is worth a try.
by Mentalmum is back on August 7th, 2008
Shavale it all depends on how deep that pain is, for some after a long period of time, down to the core of you soul.
by j ninja... on August 7th, 2008
I don't really want to get into it too much here, but it was a pain that eventually required medication and an almost completely hermit-like lifestyle.
Pain is not really the issue (imho) however, it's how badly you want it to stop. Many of us want it to keep going as we feel that we deserve it. Well, I guess I'm too vain to feel that way, or something as I got sick and tired of always being sick and tired and as such shut off my emotions for a little while. Then, when I went back, I realized that it had been true. My wound had healed (a bit) with time, then I started with the anti-depressants and the what-have-you... until I was whole again.
by Shavale is very happy on August 7th, 2008
Ditto here. Glad things got better for you. Been there, done that.
by j ninja... on August 7th, 2008
well all i can say is well done to both of you, you are truly a shining example of how people can pull themselves out of the depths of that 'big black hole'... well done guys (((hugs)))
by Mentalmum is back on August 7th, 2008
Thank you very much. :-)
by Shavale is very happy on August 7th, 2008
Thank you also QueenMum
by j ninja... on August 8th, 2008
thankyou sweety.
by sloppywet on November 17th, 2008
Have seen ya for awhile Slopp how ya doing?
by j ninja... on November 17th, 2008
hey sweety 'i doing ok i think deborahs getting ................................better (hopefuly) haha! just trying to keep moving forward .
by sloppywet on November 17th, 2008
gettting...............? One step at a time Slopp and then maybe a couple of back steps and then more forward ... How's the baby btw?
by j ninja... on November 17th, 2008
he doing great just got a tooth through last week, we're feeding him real food , cut back the formula giving him whole milk an table food ,
by sloppywet on November 17th, 2008
Enjoy him not cause before you know it he will be grown and up and gone. Lifes just too damn short.
by j ninja... on November 17th, 2008
yes true ' there will be plenty of fun, i have a jeep an a bike an several man toys for him.
by sloppywet on November 17th, 2008