No it's not bad because obviously he had some good qualities and that's what you obviously are trying to hold onto the most but you did the right thing in getting out if he was hurting you. Men who physically and mentally abuse women very rarely ever change without professional help. Until he is willing to admit he has a problem and get help with dealing with it the pattern of abuse will only continue and will get progressively worse. Be glad you had the courage to leave now before you ended up crippled, scarred or even worse dead. Many women who are in your situation fool themselves into believing things will get better and find out often when it's too late how dead wrong they are

If you say you still love him then you should think about getting some counselling. I don't see how someone can love someone who abused them. He wouldn't abuse you if he loved you. You did the right thing by getting him out of your life. I don't know how far he went with the abuse, but it's a statistical fact: it never gets better. No matter how desperately you hope he'll change, it will only get worse. A lot of women are dead from abusive relationships. Others are crippled for life. ALL of them have both physical and psychological scars. It could affect your future relationship(s) if you don't seek counselling.

I very much doubt that if you are completely honest this guy was a nice person or fun to be around. When I broke up with my abusive, controlling ex I cried every day for a month about how much I loved and missed him (thankfully for me he was sleeping with my friend so wouldn't have me back - they did me a huge favour looking back). But at the time I thought exactly as you did - I sobbed at the thought of never falling asleep in his arms. Right - now are you ready for some tough love?!?!?!!? You do NOT miss this guy. You miss the resemblance of a relationship and the things that you think validates you as a person (someone to kiss and hold). I was hung up on my ex being so smart and funny and handsome - but what about the REAL qualities that make a relationship stick? By picking superficial qualities you get a superficial relationship. I would seriously suggest that instead of focusing what you are missing - try and get on with your life and focus what you CAN have. I know this email might sound a big tough but I've been there and I've read comments from people saying they never get over these things and I think what a negative way to live life!!! Imagine if you'd had kids with this guy and what a horrible life they would have had!?? What a close call that you only invested 11 months. Finally ask yourself what it is about someone who abuses and controls you that you actually miss?