Okay so i've been dating this guy for 9 months now. he's great. he knows just what to say to make me laugh.but just recently he started getting distant and im freaking out cause i dont know what to do. so if anyone can help let me know, please.
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Anonymous
ANSWERS: 4
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just pay attention to his actions,not his words...if he's been acting distant and you can see it, theres no point in asking him if he's getting distant. if he wants to continue to be around you, he will. if he doesnt, he'll make that clear also. sucks when you think you have something that is growing and it turns out to not work out, but asking/talking about it at this stage doesnt make sense to me, personally, 'cause you'll just put him on the spot and a lot of times people say what they think you want to hear just to not hurt your feelings...you might get all excited thinking "everythings back to normal", but then when they start acting the same way again (distant in this case) you're crushed again...if he's not calling you as much as before, he's not that interested...its the actions not the words that'll let you know
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Weird. I've got the very same problem going on here. And it's 9 mnths as well. The only answer I figured out so far is that you should act very gently and patiently toards him. Don't push him, don't get too intrusive, don't do the "serious relationship talk" and do these little gestures of affection, like gently combing his hair with your fingers as you explain something to him. Look him in the eyes when you speak and try not to get offended if he's snappy. Maybe he's going through a tough time.
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i always appreciate the direct approach. if you want the truth, its often best to go straight to the source. ask him whats up. tell him you notice hes being distant and ask him if theres anything wrong. ask him if somethings bothering him. and if hes a mature adult and he respects you, he will be honest and open with you and tell you whats on his mind. if he spills the beans, great ~ you can work it out and address the issue. but if he denies theres something wrong, please keep in mind that he might not be aware that hes exhibiting this kind of behavior. or maybe he doesnt realize whats wrong. or it could be the worst case scenario, that he no longer wants to be in the relationship. in any case, youll your answer.
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give him space.. if he likes you (more than just liking) he wont stray too far, and will eventually come home :)
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