So long as it is what you want too and you both protect yourselves against STD's and have regular check-ups.

i wouldnt think so cause to me that would only mean the he doesnt want to hurt me an totally break up with me but he wants to see other people

As long as you're both very safe... If he wants more action on the side, he's probably not relationship material

No, I can't see how that can be healthy. In my opinion, it's like asking for a free pass to do whatever he wants ans you can't say anything about it. What happened to loyalty? No, I'm sorry, but there's no way I'd stand for that

Healthy for whom? it can be healthy, it could be the best part of the life of the love that you choose, and only you will know that. Cause after all it is your life

This is one of those things you can not compromise on. if he wants it and you do not give it to him he will eventualy cheat or respectfully leave you. if you do not want it and you do give it to him it will destroy you. I hate to be so blunt but if you have no interest in an open relationship you need to end it now for both your sakes and next time he needs to bring it up before relationships become serious.

no i would get out of the relationship now

It would be healthy if you want it too. If you don't, send him on his way.

If it's something you're okay with, then there's no problem. But you do have to be -very- careful about safety now. Both of you should be regularly tested for STDs, etc... and always use protection.

In some cases yes it would be, If both of you two are willing to do it but you half to be certain that you two are deffinetly willing to share your selves with other people, And in some cases no but its pretty hard to do that without getting your emotions involved and being really jelouse and stuff... like i personally would never do it, but thats just my opinion.

in todays world i would say it's not safe at all. Personally I would say okay, date somebody else and never go back to this boyfriend.

If you felt that an open relationship would be healthy to you or to the relationship, you wouldn't question it. The fact that you are unsure tells me that you're trying to ignore your true feelings on this and maybe even trying to find acceptance for your boyfriend's request. Unless your relationship with him isn't serious, I wouldn't agree to an open relationship. Also, talk with him and see why he wishes to be with other people. You may have to consider moving on without him depending on how he feels about you and having a relationship with you, exclusively. Good luck.

oh that sounds great...everyone he kisses and exchanges bodily fluid with will be transfered to you...man that sounds like loads of fun!!!i wish it was me!

Sure, if you want a disease..good luck..:)

In some cases it is and some it is not... Me and my bf lived together have a dog together... I moved out we took some time apart... and the more understanding I was with it, the more he wanted to be with me... this doesn't mean go out and get with as many guys as you can... He just wants to test you , something guys love to do....Give it time...

He is already having one

This is 90% of every man's fantasy but it's not cool. It's pure experimental sex that should be left to those who are not in love or willing to share the person they love. Think about that for awhile and get back with me. He's surfing for action you're not giving him but of the dangerous kind. Talk it over with him and see if he would agree to an opposite scenario. If he agrees he's a fricken nut. If he gets mad, he does have some feelings for you but it not mature enough to understand what will happen if you guys venture outside the safe dating zone.

NO!!!!! Send him packing and find a more considerate boyfriend who can be true to you.

He is just basically telling you that he wants you as a "screw buddy" like the rest of the women he will be rolling around in the sheets with. Depending on the health and habits of these other women and him, you might pick up some gnarly sex germs.

Yes, open the door, he is free to walk. Say to him, "Bye Bye"

Have yourself tested, immediately.

It depends on the kind of person you are...does it bother you that he wants other girls? If so, then talk to him about it. There are not only emotional risks but also health risks. Is it worth it to be with some guy who at any moment can contract a disease and pass it on to you? Also, after sleeping with one another a woman has this hormone that makes her want to cuddle and take in what just happened...I don't think that will be possible because it attaches you to him and you'll get hurt. Its your heart and body though..so reardless of any answers you will do as you please. Just think about it..."the guy" is supposed to love and cherish you and your body not hop around from female to female and expect you to understand. This isn't the days when all that was needed was mating rituals to produce children, we are more in tune with our feelings. Don't be his doormat. Good Luck!!!

I rather doubt it.

Your boyfriend may love you, and want to be with other people, but maybe he feels that the relationship is getting boring or feels that you are not giving the relationship more attention. Communication is key to every relationship. I think that a loss of communication is the reason why your boyfriend wants an open relationship. Your boyfriend still loves you, but he may have a need to explore options. An open relationship can set you up for pain and heartbreak. Some people don't think that it would be healthy. Some people can get hurt easily and feels used by other people. The point of an open relationship is to have fun. As long as you don't engage in sex, and no kissing other people, then its fine. Getting to know other people can be fun and harmless in an open relationship. Talk to your boyfriend about this. Figure out why the relationship isn't working properly and get some help if needed.

For him or he wouldn't be asking ;)

Nope, if it's an open relationship then he is not really your boyfriend.

it's up to you...what you prefer. be true to yourself and if this is something you are not happy with, then he is not worth your time. if he does not have love and respect for you, he will want to date other people...looks like he just wants you for something else...such as sex. reality check. good luck.

Play his game, but on your rules.Tell him u are nervous about it but because u love him so much u will try to practice a little toseehow it feels.Telhim u want to start by talking sex on the internet with strangers to see if t turns u on.N#2 u want to send pics to a guy u met online.(hOT,SEXY, RAW PICS)u CAN EVEN LET TAKE THE PICS OF U .lET HIM KNOW THIS IS HOT STUFF AND U REALLY INJOY IT AND NOW AFTER DOING THIS, U KNOW THAT NO ONE MAN COULD EVER SATISY U. (U ARE WELCOME TO USE ME AS YOUR DECOY TO PLAY HIS GAME WITH) i COULD SEND PIC'S OF ME AFTER RECIEVING YOURS AND i WOULD EMAIL U SOME SUPER Hot love notes. Beat him at his own game,turn it around on him. Let me know if u want me to help.bertram_55@yahoo.com

Wats an open relationship?

In my opinion it defeats the purpose of a relationship, but to my shock some people are happy with it. But, how do you know what diseases you could get? Ugh. Not to mention the emotional instability of it all.

If you're friends first and if neither of you will get jealous. That's basically the only way it can work and be healthy.

Do you not think you would feel jealous or your boyfriend would feel jealous? I think it would be really unhealthy psychologically. And physically, sexually transmitted diseases. You must wear condoms.

To me that is just authorised cheating which would make me feel cheap and unloved; definitely not something I would feel comfortable with. Each to their own though!

If you even have to ask this, then no. It's not.

If you are both secure in your relationship and trust each other.

Depends on what YOU define as a healthy relationship. If you want hugs and bunnys and flowers and marriage with 2.4 children and matching outfits, then this isn't healthy. Get rid of him as soon as possible and get someone who has the same relationship wants as you. If your idea of a healthy relationship is an emotional attachement with one person but you are fine to screw around and you like random sex and possible mixed sex acts then sure, an open relationship is for you. But I agree with the person that said if you are unsure then it isn't for you. An open relationship takes a strong couple and a strong personal desire on both partners sides, not one horny person and one person doing it on a whim to keep a relationship. Either way be safe, use condoms and get regularly tested. Oh, and have fun!

He wants to have his cake and eat it too...Leave him. You can find someone who wants to be with you and will appreciate you. If my man tells me that I'm outta there. I am not risking my life for a guy who doesnt appreciate me. (STD's HIV, Herpes) Hell no!

It would only be healthy if you were as comfortable and mature as he was (if he is at all?) It takes a very special type of mindset to be able to handle this kind of thing. I suggest that you read up on swinging and the like to see how mature these people have to be and how secure and how they are able to communicate with one another on an adult level to ensure that their primary relationship doesn't suffer as a result. If he is just being an immature jerk and wanting to have his cake and eat it to, I suggest you bail out immediately as this lifestyle is not for just anyone. It is very difficult and requires a lot of maturity and that is NOT to say that he isin't or you arent, but you better make certain that you BOTH are equally as much before even attempting it.

I would not want, or tolerate, that kind of relationship. To me it seems rather pointless to have a relationship if the one you're with does not satisfy you. But, that being said, if you BOTH agree and are okay with it...to each his own.

It can be, if both parties are on the same page about it. More often, I suspect, one partner pushes it on the other. The reluctant partner goes along with it to make the other person happy. This scenario doesn't end well. If my partner suggested this idea, I would consider a few things. How would I feel about Mr. X seeing other people? Do I want to see other people myself? Will Mr. X support me in seeing other people, or does he just want permission to do it himself without me doing the same? How much communication would go on about our extracirricular activities? How would the risk of STDs and pregnancy be handled? How would we set aside time to spend together? How is our relationship as it is right now, and is it worth the risk of changing things? I don't think I could share my guy and I'm not interested in any others at this time, so this isn't for me. But it's not that I think it's impossible to pull off. I have seen other people do it sucessfully, and they are HONEST with themselves and with each other about what they are doing and why. They also aren't constantly shagging other people or anything. They just reserve the right to pursue someone if an interesting opportunity arises, which they may or may not actually act on. If you personally feel some reservations about the idea, don't do it.

OMG! leave him, ASAP!

An "open" relationship should be totally open. Botn you and he should be able to do whatever you want with whomever you want. You basically become "Friends with Benefits" Is this what you want? Are you comfortable with it? I don't think so, because I don't think you would have asked if it was healthy otherwise. Physically, it can be risky, unless you are very very strict about protection (Condom EVERY TIME even with oral on him, NO Anal) and no "rough play". Your choice. If you feel bad about it, so should he if he cares enough about you and are not just a f-buddy.

It is if you want the same thing, if you don't get some one new fast.

healthy for everyone else

only if HE would be ok with YOU seeing other people as well.

only for him

it sound like he dose not want to get in a relaytionship, so dump him and let him get the clap. He using you WAKE UP. THEIR ARE BETTER MAN OUT THEIR WHO WILL ONLY HAVE EYES 4 YOU GOOD LUCK DONT BE A SUCKER......

It would only be ok if you are cute and funny and started dating me. I am such a dude.

No.

Only if you have been seeking a valid excuse to break up with him.

Well, so long as the two of you aren't married, then what's to stop him? There's no need to be in a committed relationship if it's going to be open to other people. If you want to stay, be sure that you're out having fun with other guys as well, and not holding out for him.

It would be about as healthy as an STD which is what you would be risking if you allowed an open relationship with this guy to develop. Women in general are not programmed to deal with open relationships or the equilvalent otherwise you would'nt feel the need to ask this question in the first place. Tell him you've more respect for yourself and to swing his open dick elsewhere.

Everyone has their own ideas about how their relationship should go, I personaly believe that such things bring just pain and mistrust, I would not do it myself, my boyfriend is fully mine and not part time!

I think this is his way of saying, i just really want to hold onto you till i find someone better. Tell him to pack sand.

This would be healthy, he is just saying he wants to try new things with people who approach sex in different ways. He may discover new things he likes, he may discover new ways to please you. This is all well and good, as a sense of adventure is a good thing. The problem that constantly comes up in this area is that women are biologically wired to want sex in a context which has love and commitment. Men, not so much. So, because of biology, women call men names and seek revenge and play head games over things that are just differences, the urge men have to sleep with different women is natural and can't be helped. It is biologically adaptive because before we had medicine, spreading your seed among many women increased their children's chances of survival. This natural tendency causes moral outrage in women, for some reason or another. It's not really a moral issue, it's just an urge. It's natural that he wants this, unless a man is repressing it or religiously guided we will all admit this to you, but should you let him do it? I don't know, I've always wanted to try it but unfortunately since women (in my opinion) are mis-wired, all I've ever gotten is moral outrage and no chance to try it. If you have the balls, I say go for it.

Only if your both up for it! Otherwise...NO! (obviously)

no not at all. He's trying to distance himself from you by saying that. That is all about him and his needs. I think if you give into that you will feel cheap and used. I mean unless you are into that.

"healthy" means different things to different couples. while this may work for some couples, you must evaluate YOUR situation. you said "HE wants". what about what YOU want? and if you dont want this, then do you honestly think he'll just drop the issue? doubtful. i would have to tell him that if he feels like he needs other people to fulfill him sexually or emotionally, then maybe you two just should just go separate ways. he sounds like he has some decisions about himself and some growing up to do...not a criticism of him--at least he had the kahunas to bring this up instead of just two-timing you behind your back. i would say this may be the death knell of this relationship, sorry....

only if you want to do it. What is right in someone else's relationship isnt for others to judge. I for one could NEVER be in an open relationship however many people are and it works for them. If your boyfriend is just looking for a free pass to cheat then move on.

Not healthy. Theres point in it.

I don't think so. I couldn't share my man. I wouldn't. It would hurt to think that he wanted to do someone else while being with me.

NO! i've been in them. they DO NOT WORK and are definitely mind and security f*ckers. it's just not fair to you. when he's gone, you will always wonder if he's with another person. it's not healthy. trust me. i almost ruined my life being in one. you deserve better :)

If both of you are honest with each other and both agree that it would be okay to date others as well, then yes. It is healthy if you both choose it to be. That being said, it would seem that your "boyfriend" is not interested in a commitment to you, would prefer to be with others and is using this as an excuse to move on. You also seem to be unhappy with the idea as well. You know the answer to your question already. In your particular case it would most likely be VERY unhealthy. Perhaps you are afraid of loss and being alone. It is best to be alone and learn to love solitude AND love yourself fully before you will be ready for a mature and "healthy" committed relationship with another, IMHO.

This might sound silly, but if you have to ask, then it probably isn't healthy. I am just reading that into your question though. It wouldn't be healthy from a "potential" transmission of disease standpoint either. I have discovered over the years that open relationships rarely work and that one or the other of the partners really suffer for it.

I don’t think so, in the end you’ll both just be jealousies, wondering who the other is with and what they are doing. Even if you do a 3 some you’ll just be wondering can they do it better then me. I think in the end that jealousy will eat you alive.

I personally dont feel that would make for a healthy relationship,if thats what he wants,mab.he should be single?I feel that it would add a different angle or strain on your relationship,some times people get fantasy mixed up with what they want in real life. How about role playing,you know,you the nurse him the Doc,or you the bad girl that needs to be "corrected"use your imagination,fun and will bring you 2 closer without bring another person in your bed,just a thought. Careful what you wish for,you just might get it..know what I mean?

Not if you don't want one. I would dump him if he starts talking like that.

uh,NO.

only personal opinion - open invitation to disaster . he not only wants the milk to save buying the cow he wants to have his cake and eat it too.

Yeah. Open relationships are always best. No hiding anything...It'll drive you crazy after a while.

Not if you want to continue your relationship.

If you are questioning it,probably not.

No way!....What if you get pregnant. Just think about the mess you will be getting into when you may even not be sure who the father is, or if you are positive that you boyfriend is the father, he is someone who doesn't really give a damn about you or any kind of responsibility. Stay away from that!

Maybe you should ask my friend about this one. She died in 1998 from ARC(Aids related Complications)..she contracted HIV from her boyfriend of 5 years. He insisted on an open relationship. He was sleeping around with women he would meet at clubs. One of them had Hep C and HIV. We were able to trace it back to some woman who gave the disease to her boyfriend. Her boyfriend even used condoms(so he says). This is sad because at the age of 31, she was still so young and left behind 2 kids because of a man wanting to be selfish and her fault for letting him "SWOON HER". She really did not want this, but felt he would go behind her back anyways. Either way, she should of left his nasty behind years ago. I never liked him and felt he was BAD for her back then. Now I only wish I could of moved her away from him before this ever happened. When you share a man or a woman, you are sharing everything. Now would any of you want to kiss behind the sloppy seconds? In this world nowadays I guess it is acceptable to be "easy" OR not married in a sexual relationship. I am so damn glad I am married to a faithful man with whom I love more than anything. Sharing your guy or girl is not cool.

If your boyfriend wants to pursue an open relationship I would say this is an unhealthy situation. The more partners you bring into the mix, the more risk of contracting an STD, or worse, plus I'd go so far as to say that he may already be engaging in outside sexual activities. That's just my opinion.

It will only be as healthy as he is. If he doesn't care enough about himself... He will also be not caring about you or anyone else in the process. Remember that commerical for AIDS where they showed 50 people in bed with hundreds of others saying. "You have been wherever they have been?"

It's a healthy beginning of an end.

no, but he will get what he wants, and you will leave him.

no.

Your welcome..; ) Sometimes it takes anothers senseless death to save the lives of many. My friend was a gorgeous woman with a beautiful demeanor. She loved reading to her girls every night before bedtime. I remember being with her at hospice all night. I was with her when her "boyfriend" dumped her. He died in 2004. The girl that gave it to the "boyfriend" committed suicide in 2001. It was a horrible time. It is so selfish the way people throw themselves around like used bubble gum. Sex is sacred. This world has its priorities in the wrong place. It is now ok to be a man and marry a man and vice versa. It is now ok to be 5 years of age and wear makeup and hooker wigs. Thanks Miley. These of course are MY opinions of this pathetic world. If a man loves you, he ONLY WANTS YOU. Simple as that. When they come of with sorry excuses like "open relationship", they are bored with you and never loved you in the first place.

ya if you want a STD

Look, I have to assume you have your doubts that this is what YOU want. Open relationships arent really relationships at all. It is just another way the person can have their cake and eat it too. In my experience, it is an excellent way to break your heart. The jealousy will eventually ruin the relationship. If that doesnt happen, an STD might!

Hell no.. Noo do not do that

HELL NO DON'T EVER DO IT!!!

The only thing open that would be healthy in your case is an open door for him to walk out of and never to enter again. Get rid of that idiot now.

No. I can tell you, it's fun. I was in an open relationship. The truth is, I didn't want to commit to him. He wasn't good enough for something serious. That's the way swingers think. Not good enough, hmm? Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, to me. And should you choose to have an open relationship, your personal relationship will not grow, and--more likely than not--suffer. But Rule Number One: if you're going to do it, use a condom. Even if you choose not to have sex with other partners, he's going to be whoring his body to God knows who. Rulel Number Two: don't fall in love. Yeah, I know that men/guys accuse women/girls of becoming emotionally connected. Often, it's true. But some of us have the ability to separate ourselves, emotionally. But generally, someone ends up getting hurt, anyway.

You must stop and think what it is YOU want from him. Are you in love with him? Ask him why he wants an open relationship. If your journey is about finding 1 special person who you will care about and will care about you, then an open relationship with someone is a bad idea. This is merely an excuse to fool around with countless people, and when the excitement wears off or there are no new dates for the night, he'll have someone to turn to. The ultimate goal I believe of relationships is to magnify the human experience and to meet each others' needs. I believe that two committed people can magnify this experience of life for each other through communion, trust, experiencing the divine, basically sharing their lives with each other. Is this what you want, if so then no to this open relationship. However, if seeing other people and going back to each other is for you, then go at it full force. Just remember that your connection wont be as deep or fulfilling (spiritually) sorry for the ramble!

I AM REPOSTING MY ANSWER, as I have receieved over 40 emails asking me for more info about HIV and how my friend coped with finding out she got it from her boyfriend, who also wanted an "open relationship". HERE IS THE 2nd part of my answer: Your welcome..; ) Sometimes it takes anothers senseless death to save the lives of many. My friend was a gorgeous woman with a beautiful demeanor. She loved reading to her girls every night before bedtime. I remember being with her at hospice all night. I was with her when her "boyfriend" dumped her. He died in 2004. The girl that gave it to the "boyfriend" committed suicide in 2001. It was a horrible time. It is so selfish the way people throw themselves around like used bubble gum. Sex is sacred. This world has its priorities in the wrong place. It is now ok to be a man and marry a man and vice versa. It is now ok to be 5 years of age and wear makeup and hooker wigs. Thanks Miley. These of course are MY opinions of this pathetic world. If a man loves you, he ONLY WANTS YOU. Simple as that. When they come of with sorry excuses like "open relationship", they are bored with you and never loved you in the first place.

No, it wont.

No. It usually means that he wants sex, but is unwilling to offer commitment. It is game that always ends in tears -- on the part of the woman. Don't play!

its a slippery slope, i´d be weary. its very difficult to actually make it work. the relationship needs to be very strong and healthy before taking such a huge chance.

probably not..i don't see why he needs to be with more than one person. Maybe if you don't have jealousy issues and are okay with the thought of your man being with others then I guess go ahead?!

No, I don't believe it would be. Could you or he handle the idea that you'd be sleeping with other people and possibly catching any diseases they might have? The only way I could see of having an open relationship is if neither of you loved each other very deeply. I think if you are doubtful, then don't agree to it. If he doesn't like it, let him go.

so hes basically saying.. "i want to cheat on you, can you be ok with that?"

Oh sure it would be healthy for him. This means he's got his eye on someone and needs your "permission" to pursue it. Should you tell him that your interested in someone, he would give you the 3rd degree and probably couldn't handle the fact that you've "been" with someone else. If he wants an open relationship, tell him to go have one with someone else. Just be true to yourself. Could you still be with him knowing that he's been with someone else???

yeah, sounds totally healthy!! OF course not.

Only if you want it too.

Probably not. Were I in this situation, I would end this relationship. It sounds as if he has found someone else he wants to be with, and is trying to find out if he can have you both.

Sure. Just kidding. What you do is this....go out with a few guys first. Find the one you like the best and dump your boyfriend. Then you'll be feeling real heathy about the whole thing. LOL.

Did he indicate if he wants to have this open relationship with women, or men? Maybe he actually wants you to see other guys, and to realize how inadequate he really is (probably not this one though). Maybe he feels that your relationship is moving too fast and he's afraid of committment. Or, maybe he just wants to see what YOU would say, to gauge how you feel about him...