Well, You have plenty of opportunity right here. Depends though how badly you want to stay.

I do not endorse any of these: * Antagonize other ABers in comment threads * Cut off other drivers * Tip less than 18% * Talk ONLY about yourself * Stand in the middle of grocery aisles. (Note: DO not yield to oncoming carts at ALL costs!) * Finally: I don't think you are capable of being any type of a-hole for a day, Someguy... you are WAY too sweet!!!!

Just be yourself ;)

Have Fun!!!! Alcohol, always adds some excitement. Step One: Have impossibly refined sensibilities This is the most essential step to becoming an asshole, and probably the most difficult. It requires an amount of study because you will need to know your field. Faking is not an option; a fake will be held up as an object of scorn and as a pretentious moron, which is clearly not your objective. I'd suggest specializing in a particular area, like food or music. While General Assholery is spectacularly impressive, it requires nearly a lifetime of study to properly attain. Knowing your field means knowing it utterly; if you intend on being a Food Asshole, you'll not only need to be able to instantly tell the difference between a good Chateau Lafaurie-Peyraguey and an indifferent Puligny-Montrachet, you'll need to be able to expound to your host or hostess on why the former would have been a much better choice to serve with dessert. Step Two: Use Really Big Words This is a much simpler step in your ascendance to Divine Asshole. All you'll need for this is a thesaurus and a dictionary. Take some common place words and replace them with obscure ones, instead of "beauty" say "pulchritude", instead of "childish" say puerile. Make certain that you are properly using your new obscure words; loudly correct anyone who uses them improperly. Step Three: Choose something to hate It doesn't matter what, as long as it is something almost universally loved. Don't hate the French if you're English. Don't hate the Backstreet Boys or N'Sync, or you may be mistaken for a wit instead of an asshole. Whatever you do decide to hate, make sure you know enough about it to hate it properly, I'd suggest hating something in your field of expertise. If you're a Food Asshole, hate Italian Cuisine, if you're a Music Asshole, try hating Mozart or The Beatles. Make sure that whatever you do hate, is common enough to come up in casual conversation; if you're an Art Asshole, don't hate Gustave Caillebotte, as it's hard to bring conversation repeatedly around to lesser-known impressionists. Step Four: Always Manage to Turn Conversation around to you No matter what the topic of conversation is about, make sure you play a starring role in it. If someone is complaining about their hateful and psychotic ex-boyfriend, tell them all about your evil ex, who was way more evil and psychotic then theirs. If you don't have an ex, make one up. If someone manages to mention something remotely related to your field of expertise, monopolize the conversation. If possible, turn the conversation back to the thing you chose to hate in Step Three and complain loudly about it. Step Five: You Are Always Right, Be Secure in this This is the culmination of your training as an asshole. Once you have mastered the first four steps, you are ready for this. When someone decides to argue with you about the merits of the thing you hate in step 3, intellectually bludgeon them using the words you learned in step two. This should not be especially difficult if the hated item is one in your area of expertise from step one. Resort to ad hominem attacks deriding your opponent's intelligence. Don't be overly concerned about being clever, witty or eloquent; you are an asshole afterall, not a bitch. If you manage to win the argument either by logic and reason or by your opponent leaving in disgust; be an ungracious winner and taunt your fallen foe.

Well....for starts.... ...you came to the right place! Haha :P

Just be yourself and things should screw themselves up.LOL

tell the truth. people will be trying to kill you within the hour.

... get so drunk you pass out the day before, then wake up and start drinking and keep drinking more booze all day long ...

Belittle every person and question you see. Use foul language and ask stupid questions.

Dont shower or brush your teeth for a day, when talking to someone, get really close to them and make sure to spit when you talk. Close doors behind you even if someone is close by and you can hold it open for them. Start to cut people in line, and if someone gives you shit about it, just yell at them and make fun of the way they look if you can. Be very arrogant and stick your nose up in the air. Cut people off when you drive, get in the fast lane and then drive slow not allowing people to pass you. Speed up when they finally change lanes and try to go by. Thats about all I can think of right now, good luck, I dont want to run into you that day so let me know when it will happen.

Leave your cell phone on your desk when you walk away. Make sure the volume is set to "Fire Alarm." Call it from another desk over and over again.