ANSWERS: 11
  • No. Particularly if you are not together. When you are separated, your sex life is your own business and he has no business prying into it. That applies to your life now and to your life then.
  • This is indicative of an inability on his part to truly work through the emotions associated with your past cheating. You are under no obligation to indulge him in this. It is his problem to process his own emotions, feelings of betrayal, inadequacy, hurt, etc...it isn't your job to be dumping all of this information out on the table for him and obliging him. You are no longer a couple and he needs to put the past in the past - on his own.
  • I think it will just make things worse. He's not smart enough to stop the pain. He's not going to forgive you if you tell him more.
  • MAYBE HE IS DEBATING IF THE BREAK UP WAS A MISTAKE AND IS TRYING TO GET SOME ANSWERS TO MAKE SURE IF HE WANTS TO GET BACK WITH YOU. COULD ALSO BE THAT HE IS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HE DID WRONG THAT LEAD YOU TO CHEAT.
  • Been through this with my first wife. In my case, I wanted to know the details, because I felt that, if I did it might help to 1)Get over her more quickly, and 2)understand what it was that made her make the decision in the first place. It did both for me, and I am ever thankful for her willingness to suffer through it with me. It showed that she was honestly sorry for what she did, if nothing else, and it made all the difference in the world. I would caution you, however, that not everyone is that mature. Your friend might be the type that will only get more upset and bitter over the details. You might want to exercise your first hand insight into his personality. It's a very delicate judgment call for you to make, in this case.
  • Why don't you just ask him why he wants to go over it again? That, to me, would be key.
  • He wants to go over the details because somehow he blames himself for your cheating. He is trying to figure out what he did to make you stray. He can't move forward until he figures this out. You could sit down with him and go over the details one last time, making it very clear that this is the last time you will discuss it. Then very clearly let him know that it was not at all his fault. That it was your mistake and there was nothing that he did or didn't do to make it happen, that it was just a very bad choice on your part... I think that if you care about him as a friend, then it is the least you can do. He has to do the real hard work to rebuild trust for women if he wants to have any future meaningful relationships.
  • There is a chemical in the male left over from caveman days, that is secreted when the mail feels his the loss of his sexual a partner. This enhances his libido. Having your partner tell you the details of a sexual encounter with another,while painful, can also be a turn on. Works for me.
  • Nope you have no obligation to tell him what so ever. Every aspect of your life is now your business and yours alone.
  • I would say it depends on why you cheated, was it something that he did in particular that pushed you to it etc, he may be trying to find out if there is something that he does to possibly prevent it in the future
  • I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Just tell him its non of his business since you were not together anyway.

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