ANSWERS: 8
  • The next time the issue comes up and he says you're lying about not wanting him to lose weight, get mad. Tell him you don't appreciate being called a liar and that all this time you've been trying to tell him you love him just the way he is and he refuses to believe you. For whatever reason, this always works for me. If my boyfriend thinks I'm making something up or being nice for his benefit, getting mad about his refusal to believe the truth snaps him out of it.
  • If he loses weight, will he be healthier and more likely to grow old with you? Its great that you love him the way he is, but you don't want to limit him from growing as a person either. How about discussing with him why this is important to him instead of trying to convince him of your point of view? Will you still love him if he is thinner?
  • Don't let him bully you into making *his* issue your issue. Be clear that you get that it's what HE wants to do - and you'll support his decision to lose weight - if that's what he decides. And if he doesn't then that's okay with you too!
  • hes gonna do what he wants to do. if he wants to lose weight, i wouldnt discourage him. all you can do is let him know what youve been saying all along, that you love him just as he is. but if he wants to get more physically fit, i dont see any problem with that. as long as his emphasis is on toning and health, not primarily weight loss for appearance's sake.
  • Maybe it's not entirely for you tho. He could be unhappy about his weight even tho you are perfectly comfortable with it. I say just let him do what he wants and provide emotional support for him. If he's serious about losing weight he will, if not, well, your at point one.
  • Go ahead and gain more weight.
  • If he's overweight (especially significantly), you are not really doing him any favors by telling him you love him the way he is... It can kill his motivation to lose the weight. However, he has to want to do it for himself, not for you. His desire to please you may be the catalyst, but he MUST want to lose the weight, or he wouldn't be saying anything about it. Again... It has to be for HIM, not for you, unless it's tied to his health, and he wants to be around for and with you longer than he might be if he doesn't. If he's already relatively thin and doesn't REALLY need to lose weight, he may simply need/want to tone up. I don't know either of you, and am probably wrong here (I hope), but if YOU are overweight, his desire to lose weight may be a subtle attempt to motivate YOU to lose some, too. You could get healthier together, live and love longer, etc. In either case, it appears that you love each other, and weight is obviously not an issue there. If one's over- or under-weight doesn't sound like it will matter. That's a GOOD relationship. ;-)
  • It is wonderful to love him as he is, but even more wonderful if he improves his health. If he has weight to lose, he will feel better both physically and emotionally about himself at a lower weight. Instead of trying to talk him out of it, just be supportive.

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