Nobody can tell from just that question -- 28 years is a very long time, and everyone changes in that kind of span. I would say go forward, with open eyes and a brave heart... ! EDIT ============================= bifocals: in response to your comment, that's not a good sign. The math says this guy should be at least 48-50 years old, and if he hasn't learned to avoid flirting with women other than his wife then he hasn't learned some really basic relationship skills. Its kind of late to go back to school for that. Its kind of like saying "he's been driving for 20 years, but he just doesn't like red lights. Should I still ride with him?" EDIT (Part 3!) ============================== bifocals -- it sounds like you really want a particular answer. The bottom line doesn't change though: he didn't care enough about his wife's wishes to restrain himself from this simple thing. Married men (or women) flirt because they want to prove to themselves or others that they're attractive, this is a big factor in cheating too. A man who can't rein in his appetite for this sort of thing by the time he's 50 isn't even trying.

No definately not. Sorry if this isn't the answer you hoped for but from my experience usually if a man cheats once he will continue to no matter how happy his marriage is. I was told this by a married man i had an affair with years ago. He said no matter who he was with he would always have another woman as well. I think its the danger they get addicted to. I think you will end up being hurt if you try again with this man.

After 28 years you are probably somewhat different people than you were all those years ago. A lot might depend on whether he was faithful to his wife after your affair ended, or whether he continued to cheat with others. I would say go for it, but watch out for the signs that his wife should have been on the look-out for all those years ago - the excuses that don't make sense when he isn't where he said he would be, the evasion, the anger at you when he is the one who slipped up, suddenly getting new clothes, etc. Here is a good Q&A about signs of cheating: http://www.answerbag.com/q_view.php/7159

That is a crucial decision only you can make. However, we can all predict future behavior by past behavior. Apparently if she left him for another female, there were problems between the two of them. I also believe in fate or destiny, so I would say after all these years, fate brought you back together. GO FOR IT but be careful and take it slow..

I'm just curious--can he trust you not to cheat on him?

Well I think he had an affair on her to date you, so I think he did that purposely to date you.

the answer lies not in what he did 28 years ago, but rather, what he has been doing since then. i doubt they fought about this affair for 28 years. Are you sure there werent more after you?

Nope. Been there, done that. A leopard's spots don't change. I understand that you'll never know until you try, but you have to ask yourself if it'll be worth the pain and heartache in the long run.

Once a cheater always a cheater! I would be very careful to see this person again. He went back to his wife and things didn't work out and now he's crawling back to you.

If he's at his 40s I won't trust him. His sexuality is still in his peak. If he's 56 or something .... he can't do too much anymore...may be it's ok to date him.

Nope.

you two would never be able to trust one another completely.

If you think you can trust him then go ahead, sometimes people learn there lesson after the first time.

Some people might say yes. I say no. He could be faithful but you'll always have your doubts based on his history. Not worth living that way.

No, but I do think you should write a movie script!

Perhaps you should ask if you can trust yourself, in this case you are as guilty as he is for cheating with a married man. The again you two are much older and hopefully wiser now.

whoa, whoa, WHOA, people!!!! 28 yrs!!! 28 friggin' years!!!!!! that is a long, long time, and yes, people CAN change! i am 38 now and i know i am much different, on many levels, than i was when i was a 20 yr-old college sophomore, and that was only 18 yrs ago! and there's so much of the story we don't know. for example, what were the circumstances of the original infedelity? what were the circumstances of the seperation(s)? give the lady, and her man, a break! everyone, EVERYONE, makes mistakes, and we should not be beaten down our entire lives for the mistakes we've made in the past! this could be a chance for two people to find genuine love. OP, if u feel he is a good man and u think u can trust him, now, and he feels likewise for u, then go for it. but like any relationship, u should be honest w/ him and urself about ur feelings from the beginning.

well, I personally would not be able to trust him. If he cheated with you on his wife, what makes you think that he won't cheat on you with someone else? Then again, he might feel the same about you. I would talk to each other before you you both jump into a relationship. Make sure you guys are on the same page.

Well, it's true 28 years has been a long time, but I would certainly be very very cautious if I decided to start dating him andv very observant. If you date him take it slow and watch him and see how things go, because men that are always flirting, etc. will show their true colors soon enough. I have been involved with someone for almost 3 years and I have a gut feeling that he may have cheated on me, or come close to it, but i cant prove anything. He is very slick though, and is able to tell stories an maybe even lies to me that I, to this day, dont know are true or not. It is very disturbintg. He always tells me how much he loves me, etc., but I just have this gut feeling that there is more to his stories than meets the eye, and I love him very much, but am getting to a point that I am so tired of all this, NOT KNOWING for sure what he is doing if anything, so I am about to move on. I kept hanging on hoping he may change, he may see the light and grow up and be happy with one woman. He is 46 yrs old, but someone else mentioned if a man cant rein in his appetite by the time he is 50, he never will. I have talked to him about it, but he just tells me what I want to hear. I believe some men just have to have more than one woman, even thought they may love one, they arent happy if they dont have someone on the side. Sad, but true. Be careful and if you see any signs of him being overly flirtatous, etc., end it before you get to emotionally involved, it will only bring you down and waste a lot of energy trying to understand and make things work. I know I have and I would hate to see someone go through the same thing.

This is almost 30 years, we change into entirely different people in much less time than that. I would see it as a new relationship with anyone else. Anyone can cheat on you.

Maybe, maybe not but do you really want to live the rest of your life thinking what if? :) Peace

I would give it a shot. I am 28 years old and know how much I changed in that exact same amount of time, he may have too. It is a long time. I would ask him why he did it back then and if he regrets it.

lol! Ive always wondered about that situation....good question....but answer this..you took part in that too, can you trust yourself? you are just as guilty as he is. if you can answer that about yourself truthfully, then your answer is just as worthy as his.

His wife left him for another WOMAN? Chances are, that's why he cheated in the first place. I suspect that as long as it's not a habit now, he should be good. It's been a long time, you're both more experienced, sure. Go for it. Just keep your eyes open.

Take it slowly and see what happens. You don't know him, now 28 years later. You need to get to know this person. Maybe you were the love of his life, and that's what happened. Maybe since then he's been faithful. His wife left not because of his conduct, but to pursue another relationship. Give it a try.

As much as he can trust you.

history has a funny way of repeating itself, and i don't mean in a happy way

I am not saying he can't change but chancers are he won't and you will end up getting hurt.

Unfortunately, since you are even asking this question, the answer is no.

Trust your gut feeling. I think you can sense that he might not be faithful and that is why you are asking the question.