Why is it wrong for a guy to lose attraction for his girlfriend after she gets REALLY heavy? There's a lot to all that extra weight than just physical appearance, you know.
by 
Adz3r0
ANSWERS: 18
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So what you are saying is, this person is no longer attracted due to the fat around her internal organs? Sorry, I don't buy that one. What you are describing is shallowness and superficiality by definition. Everyone's body changes. I hope that the person that uttered such a statement doesn't get the same visited upon him when his beer gut starts to show. Or perhaps that would be a just wake-up call.
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Im not going to scream about how fat people need love too. Its more than that. Its understandable to lose some physical attraction upon a change. You are only human after all. Real love should prevent you from losing emotional and mental attraction to the person, unless the lifestyle and other additional factors to the extra weight create a distance between you two. To others, it may be hard to justify a loss of interest when the weight may be the most obvious change, even though the underlying emotional and mental changes are there too. Sometimes people grow apart, and if a weight gain happens to accompany a lifestyle that doesnt suit you, so be it. Stay and close the gap that has formed between you or move on, its all up to you in the end.
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sassafrass, you gave a really thoughtful and insightful answer. Thank you.
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Really that shouldn't happen, but I saw a comedian the other night that said something about that, that made me crack up. "If my woman gets fat, that means that she doesn't love me anymore. I'm like, why would you do that? You know I don't like fat!"
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Because it means you are more interested in the packaging than the content. If she has put on a lot of extra weight, perhaps something else is going on. When was the last time she had a physical? Are you always oogling other girls and making her feel undesirable? Did you do that from the time you met? If you love her and who she is, you should be concerned...not for yourself, as you seem to be, but for her. Healthy is what you should be supportive of, not weight, measurements and how "hot" she is. If you were attracted to her simply because of her body, then I don't know what to say to you..if you were attracted to her because of the whole person, then you need to focus on what's important. Happy Tuesday to you! :)
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Well, personally I know what it is like to go from the very thin and very sexy body to the fat enormous disgusting blob... I know how it changes you not just physically but emotionally.. Thankfully, I woke up one day and decided I had enough and started getting active again.. But I do understand to an extent the situation, and while on one hand it may be viewed as wrong because most people only think of the weight.. the other hand says that it would take a lot to try to make a person who is self loathing love themselves again, even after losing quite a bit of weight, i still dislike myself... see if she will talk to someone (professionally).
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i was dating a girl that was kind of big (i like 'em that way, w/e), and it didn't work out. not because she was unnatractive, but because she always wanted to eat around 8:30 - 9 pm. i couldn't do that, because I go to bed before 10 every night, which means all that food would be an extra meal that just gets turned right to fat. so i started ordering small things, like english muffin, no butter, or just tea. and she's like "you dont like me"- and i'm like "why? because i don't want to eat before bed?!" so, yah there is a lot more than just physical appearance- health, incompatible lifestyle, etc. BUT, you need to think- are you losing attraction because of health, or physical appearance?
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well even though I am female and we girls should stick together, I will exersice my LIBRA talent which is the scale.....if you gain weight by pregnancy and a guy doesn't give you time to get your body back then he is wrong...but if you just gain weight out of depression then I most say "we need to exercise", we don't even like our body if its out of shape, we don't feel sexy, we don't fit into our regular size properly and we don't show off our sexy glow or high self-esteem because we know that we are not at our best....so I can understand were a guy is coming from but if he is being a Jack *SS about it then he is dead wrong. No one stays the same size forever, he should either work out with you or give you time and encourage you by helping and not humiliating.... and trust me I know first hand, my body fluctuate all the time. on a serious note I was only a size 6 about 10 months ago and now I am pushing a size 9/10. so I have serious work to do.
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He may be tired of rebuilding the bed.
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Because more than likely you're also a fat ass.
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I totally agree. it's a lifestyle choice and often times is the biproduct of an inactive, couch potato, food crutch life choice. I'm not talking 5-10 lbs but if my girlfriend ballooned and put on 100 or more extra lbs yeah I think we would need to have a talk, but my gf is only 98lbs and I think I would notice long before she reached 200lbs that there was a problem...I think a lot of people just get comfortable and let themselves go...it says more about a person than people like to admit..most people get upset and start making up excuses for their obesity (medical, genetic, etc etc) but whatever their reason, I don't find it attractive and it doesn't suit my lifestyle choices of healthy eating, exercise and an active lifestyle...luckily for me my gf is active too and we both eat well and neither of us really watch tv. I find nothing wrong with finding obesity unattractive any more than a person prefers blondes or brunettes or muscles or whatever...it's preference...live your life how you want I say but don't expect everyone to find it attractive.
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as wrong as it is, the truth is that guys are more attracted to girls with a mice body and composition. its also vice versa wit girls.
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its very wrong to lose interest in a person over weight . for all you know under active tyroid gland . looks aint everything its personality
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No I don't think it is wrong. If the girl isn't taking care of herself like she was when you decided to come together, then why should you suck it up if you don't want to. She is the one who let her figure slip. Are you supposed to pretend to be turned on when you really are turned off?
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You cannot help what is a turn off, or even physically repulsive to you. Its not 'wrong' at all to lose attraction, that really can't be helped. What IS wrong is to value a person only by their looks, to blackmail them into fitting your personal requirements, to denegrate them. Its also very wrong to drop them like a hot potato simply because of looks. If they don't give a damn, have no medical reason to be fat and won't stop eating, fine, drop them for being an unhealthy person who couldnt care less that they make your skin crawl....IF that's how it is.
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i think ITS awful say you gained wAIT AND SHE DUMPED YOU HOW WOULD YOU FEEL
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Shallow guy.
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Because if he cared for her he would help her. Not dump her.
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