People say some mean things when they are angry, even for me it is still hard to not take it personally. Try to stand your ground. How did he find out that you write to your ex? He also probably feels insecure even though he won't admit it. But hang in there, stay strong.

It's verbally abusive but I do understand why he got mad. Why would you write to someone that was abusive? Maybe he exploded because he thinks it is dangerous for you to write him and that it could lead to worse things. He could have gotten angry because he's worried for you.

well it was a stupid thing i did writing to him i admit. I looked him up out of curiosity now that you can find people on net. It was 13 years ago and in my stupidity and not thinking i wrote him. i have not written since and have ignored the 2 messages i've had since. i do regret it and apologized. He was in funny mood before he found i wrote him. he was drunk too and thought i was with another man earlier that night which was silly as he was there. also i've never cheated and never will but he has broke up with me and kissed couple of girls before. i never did anything on our brake. but i do get jelious as he has many friends who are girls he meets at uni who call and text allot. i have to bight my tongue but i do one wrong thing and he becomes abusive. he said i'm a stupid fucking bitch, that he can stand to look at me, that he despises people like me that i'm weak and pathetic. it's quite ironic that the ex got brought up and then similar thing happens. he has never spoke to me like that before but wondering if it will just keep happening if i make a mistake? not like i cheated or lied about it. i don't want to end up in another abusive relationship. he has apologized but still asking why why over and over and that he is hurt.

Yes, it is just as bad. Call him on it. Why are you writing to your ex that was 13 years ago anyway. I understand the curiosity but he abused you and you have someone else. No need to do that. The past always creeps up on us and we think of what might have been, embrass those memories and move on without any action because you are still human and feel and love etc.. that does not mean you should act on it.

He is probably attempting to display tough love. I find it difficult to believe anyone would write to an ex that was abusive,without realizing what they were doing to a certain extent. I have certainly had a share of abusive relationships. When I was being a "stupid fucking bitch" "pathetic" and "weak", I did not consider it abusive as the non-abusive person had poor presentation and was attempting to protect me from myself. I had to really change before I stopped going back there, for whatever self-destructive reason. I needed to learn how to be assertive if anything was said to me by anyone, that I considered abusive. That I would call the person on it. I would tell them to stop speaking to me that way and if they did not, I would leave.

It sounds like your current boyfriend may have some issues with abuse as well. Don't let him talk to you that way. Stupid or not, it's your decision to write to who you want, and it's not his place to tell you what kind of person you are for doing it.