My husband of over twenty years told me he was seeing another woman for a year and a half. We're suposed to be working it out, but I think he's still seeing her. I think he loves her but I can't bring myself to ask him, he won't lie if I ask. I love him.
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 8
Non Contact Infrared Thermometer -- $19.99
While Supplies Last
13deals
.png)
Ad
-
you have to ask. you dont have to ask today...you dont have to ask tomorrow...but at some point, you'll have to ask :)
-
You will have to bite the bullet and ask him.
-
get a friend he don't know to follow him. Check cell phone records & your caller id, credit card receipts but if you don't want to really know because your accustom to your life style & you know by divorcing him that you won't have as much then the only other thing you can do is learn to accept that he's a cheater & won't be faithful. I hate to say it but usually when you have a strong feeling they are cheating they usually are. Good luck, btw I have a close friend who just went through this with her hubby of 13 years. The way she found out he was cheating was she checked the cell phone records & found out he'd been going out with her ex co worker & she was 8 months pregnant with his kid. She had suspected a year ago that he was cheating but she like you didn't really want to know or deal with it but then she had to & within 2 months her life changed that quick for the worse so you don't want to wait around it may get worse if u do.
-
I agree that you should ask him. But what makes you so sure he won't lie about it. He lied to you for 1.5 years when he was seeing the other women behind your back. By "working it out" I hope you mean counceling. You need to find the root of his reason for cheating, and feel reasonably secure that your marraige will be safe from here on out. You don,t want to be posting this question again another year and half from now.
-
You need to ask him, get it out in the open. You both need to be real honest and get things clear so you will know what to do and what it will take, even , if it's worth it for you both. And he is the one that needs to be the most talkative. TO show clearly that he is sorry and wants to make amends, he needs to give you the opportunity to get those answers, just once, ask what you need to know and then forgive him and don't ask again, just move on.
-
Asking him is of secondary importance. Most important is that you both communicate honestly to each other how you feel about the things you can see. the rest will fall into place.
-
Talk to him, you need to know where you stand with him and where he stands with her. Before you do ask consider whether you are willing to lose him on principle or whether you are willing to compromise. You love him. If he says he loves her are you willing to share, or are you willing to spend your later years doing whatever you want to do, albeit without him in your life?
-
I, too, think that asking him is of the utmost importance. However, this is true for more than one reason. Not only do you need to know, you also need to have open and honest communication with him if you are trying to rebuild your marriage. Unless you can bring yourself to do this, not only will you go on suspecting him and not being able to rebuild your marriage, you will also not like yourself too much for not asking.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC