Sometimes I still think about my ex and want to call him, even though we are both married to other people. Does this mean I'm likely to cheat, or that I should have stayed with the ex?

Yes. If you get together with your ex you will be quite vulnerable. If he comes on to you there is little doubt that you will melt into his arms and have a very hot time. It's worth it.

It is quite common for people to think about past relationships or even to wish they were in them. When tempted, remember back to why the previous relationship ended; obviously something wasn't clicking.

If you're feeling extremely strong urges to cheat, I am sure a psychologist could help discover the underlying problems that are causing this. It could be stress, or a number of other things.

Whether you are likely to cheat, only you can answer. It is simply a matter of self control, and you alone know what you can do.

As to the rest. The idea that there is a perfect, all-encompassing love is a myth for most of us. The idea that there is one perfect, all-encompassing partner who can wipe all memories of other is, simply, rubbish. No doubt this ex will have virtues that your spouse does not. But the opposite is also true: your spouse has virtues that the ex doesn't, but you are too close to see them. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

My advice would be not to muck around with the relationship you have. Either stick with your spouse, or break up and start again with another - your ex or whoever. But don't play the cheating game - not good and a lot of harm comes with it in the long term.

It could be a number of reasons as I had children with my ex-wife not that I had any interest in pursuing. (I couldn't trust her as she had an affair during our marriage.) I also saw her as a friend and talked about our sons and my marriage to my current with that is only 13 years older than my sons. (I felt at times I was raise a girl not engaging in a marriage with an adult woman.) So I sought advice. My ex-wife died several years ago and I miss her deeply. If that is similar to the reasons why you think of your ex then I can say your intentions of contact are decent.

Depends. How long were you with him?

No to both. You can control whether you cheat, and if your ex had been a good choice, you would've stayed together. It is very easy to romanticize a past relationship (especially if it was your first). You have to remind yourself of the qualities that made him a bad or unreliable partner, and the good qualities your husband has.

It's also possible that you are fantasizing about your ex because you feel a lack of passion and chemistry with your spouse. Try to schedule a romantic evening with your husband so you can rekindle those feelings and banish the ex from your mind.

Wow. i get it. Im so in love with my boyfriend of nearly 9 months. But i have an ex that i was on and off with for 2 years. We never were TOGETHER for more than 2 weeks. It was just a constant tango game!
I fell so hard for him and about 4 months into being "interested" in eachother i did something and made him mad and he wouldnt talk to me anymore and i was devastated. We werent even together and it hurt so much!after a month i started to get over it and i got a call from him. He was pouring his heart out saying that the whole time he was trying to get over me but he couldnt and he was sorry.
i went back and for 2 years it was the same pattern. and we'd date, he'd dump me, he'd go out with someone else while still talking to me and leave them for me, then dump me.
Finally i got sick of that and i got interested in the guy im with now. When my ex found out he got angry at me and kept telling me i was just gonna get hurt!
He even tried to get me back when i was 4 months into my relationship. He kept telling me he would never love me as much as he did. I chose my boyfriend, it was no contest who i wanted more but it was so hard to tell him no.
Im now 9 months into this relationship and although we fight at times i love him with all of me. And i think of my ex sometimes and im tempted to call him, espically when my bf and i fight. But i resist and then my bf does something that reminds me how much i love him.

No I just think you are missing the friendship you had with them. I've got that with one of my ex's at the moment. And there's not a chance in the world I would cheat with her, or get back together with her. I love my girlfriend.
+5

Apparently, he is out of sight, but not out of your mind. the memory lingers for a reason. you might call him, you might see him again, but, think what the consequences will be for the other two people involved(your husband/his wife and children).

Will it be worth it?

I believe it is normal to think about our past loves, but acting on it, is another thing. Its fine to "think" just not to "act."..Like Elith said, remember the reason you broke up and also his flaws that drove you crazy. That changes a positive thought to a negative one.

My boyfriend (of 7 years) went out to his ex's house for closure. He actually went out there to take pictures for her (for her myspace page - he is a freelance photographer) and she ended up wanting him to take sexy pictures. He went along with it but nothing "happened." I accidentally found the pictures in the trash on his computer.

They were together for 6 MONTHS and she dumped him (abruptly over the phone) and went back to her husband. This was his first love and she hurt him BAD. When I found out what he did I was devastated and I'm still hurting months later. Now I wonder how my boyfriend can be thinking about her after so many years that he still needs closure and puts himself in a situation that puts our relationship at risk. So my advice to you is - if you still have feelings for this person but you love your current, then STAY AWAY. That person (your ex) is not worth risking what you have now. If you DON'T have feelings for this person and you love your current then STAY AWAY. STAY AWAY!!! The past is the past, keep it in the past.

Wow you really need to seat and think about this if you are not happy than get out but don't do it for someone that is married do it for you

It sounds like you should just not contact your ex at all.

It means that whatever attracted you in the first place is still there. I don't find that unusual..I think you should be careful however not to confuse old feelings with your new situation. It would be sad to throw your new lives away only to find yourself back in the situation that caused you to leave him in the first place.

It's reasonable to have feelings for previous loves but very unreasonable to continue pursuing them when you're married. You sound very, very bored. Time for a night course, a promotion or some project or hobby that will take you out of your rather dangerously selfish self and into a world hungry for just about everything. Offer yourself in one of the myriad safe and truly helpful ways! It will make you much more compelling to your spouse, too, and perhaps vice versa.