Why is it that when you say you're married, you often get asked 'Is this your FIRST marriage?' Why do so many people assume you will get divorced? What ever happened to the idea of getting married and being committed to the one person for life?
by 
Algernon.NZ - Dirrty
ANSWERS: 14
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Look at the statistics - Lots and lots of people get divorced. I think the kids who had to live through those divorces, will make a difference in the divorce rate. Because they don't want their kids going through a divorce like they once had.
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Wow, the 1st question is RUDE and none of their business. them's fightin' words. Regarding the 2nd, marriage statistics aren't so rosy. About half of all marriages end in divorce. The numbers go up for second and third marriages. I think the divorce statistics are about two-thirds for second marriages and three-fourths for third marriages. Why all the divorces? Bottom line is that I think society is jaded. Also, there are easy ways to do it now (e.g. newspaper announcements, annulments, etc.). Plus, people have the power to do it, so they do, instead of working on a relationship fraught with problems. And since it's more commonplace, you're less likely to be ostracized by your peers. Lastly, some people are deluded into thinking that once you get married you'll live happily ever after and everything will be perfect. But it never is. You have to work on your marriage and realize that people change over time ~ if you want to remain married you have to adjust to those changes and make an effort to grow with them.
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because a lot of people dont marry for the right reasons or marry during the early stage of a relationship when everything seems perfect, and sometimes people change or fuck up.
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I have never been asked this question, but if I were, I would find it amusing... unless it really wasn't my first marriage.
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Times are changing ... :(
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I've never been asked that other than here, never face to face.
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Ya, I agree that's messed up. Like most people when I got married, I never planned on getting divorced. I thought we'd be together forever. Get this one, this is funny. Had a family freind introduce his wife at the thanksgiving dinner table with about 20 people around. He said, "This is my first wife Nicole." It was a total accident and we all still laugh about it.
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I've never been asked that- and my wife and I have been married for two and a half years now. And the idea, unfortunately, is no longer prevalent... which is a shame. Marriage should be for life, but people have screwed it up.
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Because people think that you will not last forever, but chances are, they are just kidding, and you will stay committed through out your marriage!
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I know, isn't it awful. I grew up with the idea of divorce as being nearly inevitable so deeply etched in my brain. When I was a child I used to ask newlyweds when they thought they were going to get their divorce! Of course I was only like 6 or 7 so this was an idea I gathered from seeing a lot of divorce I suppose. It's sad. I wonder how childen are today.
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As awful as it may be, it is considered "normal" now to have blended families/step-families and 2nd, 3rd and even 4th marriages. It's really sad and it's affecting all of us (negatively) in many different ways and no one really cares! :(
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the idea of a committed marriage left out the back door with my wife. societal norms are changing. i grew up in a time when we took "till death do you part" as a vow before God and none of us were gonna mess with Him. now, we see that we've only got 20 or 50 more years to find real happiness, so, we'll do whatever we can to get it.
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I have never been asked this. Why do you assume that so many people assume you will get divorced if they say this? Your mate could also have died. One reason could be statistics: many people have more than one marriage. People could also imagine that you are the kind of person who would not stay in the same marriage all their life.
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In my 15 years of marraige, I've never been asked that. Nobody has ever asked who the parents of our 2 year old is, neither. So, to part two of your question, it is still alive and well.
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