I would say get different opinions and views from people and see what they prefer. Remeber talking to people and socializing is a great asset.

One comment- when you are on a dance floor- dance with that ONE person. Just avoid bumping into the others. If you every get to a great dancer, then dance to entertain a crowd or an audience. Maybe there are some circumstances that are for everybody around you, but not dancing. Be a hero for that one person- show her that she is number one. Many number ones in different situations can add up to what you want to be- a hero. Even your asking for advice here shows me something very positive in you- heroes just do not appear without some work done to improve themselves.

When i say its my job to be a hero. I always have to be the guy who protects people. i cant allow myself to let my guard down 100% and have fun. I have to make sure nothing happens to anybody. I cant truly "let go" of myself and immerse myself. I just cant. As far as dancing. It affects me and makes me feel im doing something girly. And its embarassing because I dont know how to dance or what to do. Im very confident but I remain humble and like to present myself as "quiet and humble" but when the time needs I can attack and stump the most intellectually challenged. I just feel im here on earth for a purpose and I cant let my guard down no matter what. its my foundation and if that foundation is gone then I have no meaning. I am nobody. I will not exist. I will be a totally different person and I dont know how to cope with that.

Just a thought have you ever thought about having a test to see if youare at all autistic? Don't go jumping down my throat, please. I'm quite serious. Autism is the name given to a very wide spectrum of conditions, and you describe symptoms that are often associated with people at the near side spectrum. I am not an expert but my son has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and is very similar in outlook - very serious about things, always wanting to help, unable to express his thoughts properly (the perfect punchline appears two sentences too late, he tells me), awkard at social events with a slight touch of paranoia (he thinks everyone is watching him dance, when they're more interested in their own partner). It may be worth finding out a bit more. This may have nothing to do with it, but it's an avenue for you to try.

We all have to deal with the question "who am I?" in life; learning how to be ourselves is the biggest challenge that we face. One of the things that makes it so difficult is that we've absorbed a lot of ideas while growing up -- ideas about how we have to act, what we should think, what our values should be, and so forth. Its really a lot to sort through. First off, I would advise that you give up believing that there's some way you have to be (either hero or crowd-dancer, it doesn't matter). Any fixed concept of who you must be will get in the way of being yourself, even if you think that fixed concept is really cool. A "self" is sort of like a frosted 2-layer cake: the frosting is all fluff. The parts of ourselves which we expose for public view are normally the parts we've "prettied up". In technical terms, they're mostly 'compensating strategies': ways of behaving designed for public consumption. We do this "frosting", because there are things about ourselves that make us uncomfortable: that's the upper layer of the cake. Self doubt, fear, feeling "not good enough", anger, hurt, pain, etc: these are the bread-and-butter of the top layer of the cake. The frosting covers that stuff up so we don't feel vulnerable, but it also makes us feel like we're somehow cut off from others, and somewhat inauthentic. The bottom layer on the cake is the good stuff: its our natural strengths, its honesty, love, enthusiasm, generosity, etc. The trouble is, its on the bottom of the cake. In order to have that show through, you gotta deal with the frosting and the upper layer first. You have to be aware of (a) the specific inauthenticity and pretenses in your presentation and (b) the specific insecurities and negative elements that underly the frosting. Only when you begin to be honest about the frosting and 2nd layer do you begin to start to feel naturally free and self-expressed. Sorry, that's just how it works with us humans!

That is a big load off my shoulders, I thought it was my job to be the hero. Seriously, I really like myself, I think I,m funny, inteligent, good looking, I cant help that everyone else on earth is blind or stupid. I want people to like me, but they dont, crying about it, just makes my face wet. F--MMMM All. I like you, but then again I dont know you, if we met that would most likekly change. Have a beer, lighten up.

Everybody has their role in life to play, illicithero, so I don't doubt that you have a propensity toward protecting people which does indeed hint at part of your purpose in life. A word of caution, if I may. Be equally as vigilant in making sure that the hero role isn't keeping you in a never-ending loop of enabling. The two are difficult to tell apart if your up to your eyeballs in dysfunction (or came from it). That being said, the world needs it's heros. Welcome and thank you. +5

Best of luck to you dude, I don't know what to tell you besides, <lol> best of luck +5

STOP WANTING TO BE SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT! THAT WILL DESTROY YOU.