Arkansas State Trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40. He says to the driver, "Got any ID?" The driver says, "Bout what?"

erm ok, im nt gonna risk making racist jokes, unless u want them. (im not racist jokes r funnny mind,,,) ok heres one did u hear about the deaf woman? neither did she have u heard about tht nes car renault have produced? its so big u cant hear the kids in the back seats the models called renaultmecan... blonde goes into a shop and says, id like a tv please and the man says no coz ur blonde, so shes goes out dys her hai brown and says id ike a tv please , man says no coz ur blonde, so she goes out side and dyes her hair red and the man says, im not selling u a tv because ur blonde, the woman says, how did u no i was blonde ive yed my hair, man says, this is a microwave store not a tv store minny and micky mouse just got married, one day micky find minny in bed with goofy andwants a divorve, at the divource order the consaltant says to micky, "look micky u cannot divorse ur wife because she has bucked teeth " mickey says , " i didnt say she had bucked teeth i sed she was fuckin goofy" hope u found them funny

What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nuthin! you already told er twice!

Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tom Finnegan arrives at her door. "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya". "Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tom. But where's my husband?" " That's what I'm here to be telling ya, Brenda." There was an accident down at the Guinness brewery..." "Oh, God no!" cries Brenda. "Please don't tell me." "I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry. Finally, she looked up at Tom. "How did it happen, Tom?" " It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of Guinness Stout and drowned." " Oh my dear Jesus! But you must tell me truth, Tom. Did he at least go quickly?""Well, Brenda... no. In fact, he got out three times to pee." An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. " Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."