18 year old, still in school. Does not come home last night. Says he didn't want to put me out. I want him grounded for two weeks, hubby says, "One day of yard work!" What say you, friends?
by 
Grammy Robin
ANSWERS: 14
-
Do you feed him? Do you buy his garments? Do you pay his bills? If so, then you make the rules. In most nations he is now an adult and can do as he pleases... but in turn you can require him to pay rent and cover his own costs. You can also kick him out. Freedom comes with responsibility.
-
You probably didn't sleep and worried about him. Where was he? Is he otherwise a good kid? How are his grades? An 18-year-old is rather difficult to "ground" in my opinion. I think you need to have a good, long talk and find out why he did such a thing. Then I think you and your husband and the 18-year-old need to come to some agreement on what the appropriate "punishment" should be..he is not a little boy, he is on the verge of manhood so simply saying "you're grounded" for two weeks I don't think will achieve whatever goal you have in mind.:)
-
As an adult I think he is too old to ground and that your other half has the right idea. I don't think the issue is that he stayed out all night, but that he didn't have the curtesy to let you know and save you worrying. That is what he should get a punishment for and it should be made very clear to him that is why he is being punished. I think it would be helpful if you came to an agreement with him as to letting you know if he isn't coming home.
-
technically he is 18 and therefore he is an adult. However, if he is living under your roof he must follow your rules. I also think it depends on why he didn't come home. if he was out being irresponsible then hell yes severe punishment is necessary. If he was out all night at a friends house studying or working on a project, you know something reasonable then a stern warning and a lecture on respect is justice enough. Punishment must fit the crime but it also has to fit the person.My bro gets grounded for two weeks he does the time but doesn't learn anything from it. So he will do the crime again. You have to be careful. Good Luck
-
Since he is old enough to be able to stay out all night without even calling, he is old enough to cook his own meals, do his own laundry, clean his own room and bath, etc. When you decide that you are an adult, you accept the responsibilities of one. I wouldn't do a darn thing for him until I saw a sincere change in attitude.
-
Adding that I don't see doing yard work as any form of punishment. Aren't chores a part of your household routine? I think your problems are just beginning.
-
I also have an 18 year old that is going to be a highschool senior this year. We have an understanding. Since he is an "adult", he no longer needs my permission to do things or go places. What he needs is my money and my house and my food. So in exchange for all that, he agrees to do chores, let me know where he is, and come home at reasonable times. He has a job and pays his own cell phone bill. He does his own laundry and cleans his own room. He is basically on his own, but with a safety net. He also knows that anytime he feels that he doesn't have to follow the house rules, he will lose access to that house. It is his choice. Coincedentally, he chooses to follow the rules.
-
that is a hard one, since he is still in school , you are still responsible for him to a certain extent, but at 18, he's almost an adult. In our country, at 18 they can legally drink and go to bars, gambling, night clubs, as well as have vote , and been able to drive since 15. maybe talk to him about how worried you were that something terrible had happened, that you got no sleep for the night, etc, ask him to perhaps come in on week nights, and if staying over with a friend on weekends he tells you in advance :)
-
I speak from experience when I say that grounding doesn't work. When I was a kid I snuck out at night all the time with my friends. We'd just walk around and hang out. When I got caught my mom would ground me, but it didn't stop me from doing it again. I also got grounded for not doing homework, it didn;t make me do my homework. I also got grounded for not keeping my room clean. It didn;t make me clean my room. I also got grounded from being "Mouthy" to my mother. It didn't make me any kinder or more polite. I was grounded a lot and I think that the only thing it accomplished was give me lots of time in my room to read. It would have really made me mad if she had forced me to do yard work. That MAY have worked to deter me from misbehaving.
-
He IS an adult, there fore he/she should pay rent, and be subject to the hotel rules... for an instance, maybe the door is locked after 11 O'clock. UNFORTUNATELY it is always harder for parents to accept adulthood, than it is for offspring to throw down the gauntlet. Good luck
-
Not asking the right question, Did he make it to school on time and did he cut any classes the day before? Question 2 should be "Why didn't you at LEAST call in home?" Time to Guilt trip him for making you worry over where he was, not over his being out all night. I was 18 in Oct. of my senior year of HS. and they didn't like it when I decided to write my own excuse slips, which I did 2 or 3 times, just to make the point to them that I was now a the contracting adult of record.
-
okay as me being a teen, u may not want my advice but i do know other teens and understand! as soon as we hit 18, we already think we're grown even when we're not, or even not ready. We just get that rush! We might not think things through, like how it will hurt if we don't let u know we're no longer kids, so we think oh they won't mind! So we don't worry. or maybe he had a reason, like he was upset and needed to distract his mind. Not saying it was the parents, but maybe something happened at school. see like i don't like to talk to my mom about things at school, because it's the outcome of what they will say! Hope some of this helps!!
-
he is 18 and you cant really ground him : / i would say make him do the yard work. he shouldnt really get into trouble unless he skipped school the next day? other wise its up to him. i think once your 18 you can do what you want as long as you dont get into trouble with the law and still go to school every day. thats how my mom treats me
-
I would say he is 18 and he doesn't have to come home if he doesn't want to. BUT you don't have to support him if you don't want to. In other words I would tell him if he wants to live with you he has to follow your rules.
RELATED QUESTIONS
Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC