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I attempted suicide my junior year of high school. I don't really feel like explaining why at this point, but I took 10 bottles of a medication called "zyprexa". I fully intended to kill myself and came quite close, actually.
I apparently started having seizures and stopped breathing. I don't remember this, but my father found me, managed to get me breathing again (by smacking me around. Not the most effective method but he was panicking.) and called an ambulance. They pumped my stomach then shipped me off to a mental hospital.
Again, it was my full intention to die. My only regret is that I didn't die that night.
Yeah, I've attempted suicide. Took a lot of pills..
I attempted suicide back in 1997 it was from years of disappointment, regret, feeling alone, losing my mother at the age of 2, father sentenced to life in prison for the murder, feeling unwanted by my blood-related family, unable to communicate my feelings to the one person I believe was trying to help me.
I just could not get it together and I was trying so hard. One day I couldn't handle it and I decided that was the way to end it. Everything just went black and I swallowed bottles of sleeping pills and God knows what else.
I was told that I kept repeating don’t save me I want be with my mom and I took maybe a couple of steps then collapsed.
As far as regret, I still want to be with my mom but on the right terms.
No, but I think about it some times, but then I think of my family, of how they would feel, my friends and what they have done for me and how I can't just throw it all away. Its hard, but I have a good doctor and some good friends, and they help me thru the bad times, I'm lucky :-)
times were just really tough. but im so happy and thankful i dint. i felt really useless in this world, but then something clicked in. why is it about me?? so i decided to dedicate my life to others and not myslef. praise God
I have never given it a "real" try, though I have wanted to, thought about it, and cried over my inability to do it.
no i have not but many times i wished i could just sleep through life.
After a particularly difficult breakup, I did wish I would die. It would have been easier than dealing with the pain of trying to get through every day. Never attempted suicide, or even came close, but I constantly wished to be "accidentally" killed somehow. Hit by a car, have a piano dropped on my head, etc. I acted out on it by taking insane risks, being very self-destructive with alcohol and drugs, and starting shit with total strangers because I felt I had nothing to lose.
That was 8 or 9 years ago, I don't feel that way anymore.
I did. I don't know whether I really wanted to die or not. I just knew that suicide seemed less painful than admitting to myself that I was gay.
I have a custom shotgun round that I designed while I was in the army. I still have it in my desk. It is my (excuse the language, but it's what we called them), "OH SHIT round". I have had it for years. And have been prepared to use it in a worse case only situation. I've never attempted suicide, but have been prepared for years if needed. I don't want to die, I've been very close many times, I've taken lives, and if needed, can take my own. I loaded the round once in a very bad situation where I expected to die. I am happy I did not have to use it.
But again, I am not going to do it. I am married, have cats and a dog, live a good life. And hope I will never have to use it.
I have thought about it a few times and it felt so free, so right at the time. I felt like I finally found the solution to my problem(s). I never went further than thinking about it. I've stared at the bottle of pills and cried, I've driven fast and thought of turning the wheels quickly and into a river but I pulled over instead and had myself a good cry.
Yes, once, and yes I genuinely was trying to kill myself, not a cry for help.
Yes, I have. Five times, every one by trying to OD on whatever pills I could get my hands on. I hated myself and hated the fact that I had a disability. I hated the teasing and the name-calling. I thought that if I 'ended it all' that there would be no more misery.
But I think of my friends(I have no immediate family), my support people, and even my cat...they would be left to grieve. And my life has turned around for the better.
I had a total breakdown (the only one of my life) and I was in a mental hospital. For ten minutes there, I was searching for a way onto the roof and had I found one, I would have jumped, no question. I was just lucky the security at the hospital was tight and there were no unlocked doors.
Yeah i regretfully admit to trying at least three times. I trully wanted to die, because i didn't feel i had the strenght in my personality to comfront life, and take charge of my life, ask for what i really need, really give my all.
I did it to escape, felt i wasn't able to cope, but fate would have it so I couldn't go through with it.
So I have become stronger, more honest, I have learned what it is to love myself (although I don't continually practice it), I have learned what true love means, and have let myself be loved.
It is not a cliche, the frase "love conquers all".
True love forgives, and can redeem you, me, or anyone if you only let it enter your soul, learn to do everything you do in a loving manner.
I have been taught that ONLY LOVE IS TRUE. Whatever is not love(comes from love, done lovingly...) is not true. So our only option is to return to love, and everything then can be alright. We come from love, anything that is not love is just not true, we have the power to turn it around.
It is an on-going lesson, that we must work on every single day.
I did tried to drown myself i was so stressed with school having missed 1 month due to mono the work oad was insane and one teacher would not send me any of the work except for the last day in one huge ass packet, and being diagnosed with colitis realy didnt help much either
Twice when I was in my twenties. The reasons are many and varied. Both times I wanted to die.
I have three times. Neither time I was really serious about it....I just wanted to convince myself or someone else that my life was actually that terrible. Very, very juvenile of me...
Yeah...I took a whole bottle of Phentramine and drank a 12 pack of corona's then did some coke...my heart didn't stop but I was rushed to the emergency room and had to drink charcoal. I did want to die but I guess it was best I didn't because I have kids who depended on me too much. I was just so depressed and I couldn't see life for what it was. I am not ashamed because it made me stronger. I am a survivor.
I have, I dont even know how many times it's been so many. Came very close several times, definitely wanted to die, still do really, but no one knowsI havent attempted it again cos I dont want to upset my mum further.
Many times throughout my life time. It started with me as a kid, around 8 or so and here I am 50 and it's never far back in my mind. Some people think it's some stupid sympathy ploy, but when I'm not suicidal I make sure I keep methods away from myself so when i do get suicidal I usually am left with really shitty alternatives, but that has not stopped me yet. I've been on the tables 3 times getting my ticker going again and many other failed attempts.
Dying isn't as easy at it seems and I'm no big fan of severe pain, but it's one of the things that has pushed me toward it many times. At 50 I've been thouygh a LOT of physical pain and now my health is failing rapidly so I might just try again soon and will likely make it next time. We'll see.
Family left behind is bothersome but then again so it the idea of being a burden to them. If I live another 20 years I'll very likely be a very heavy burden and I don't want to live that way. Just walking has become very difficult of late, chest pain and leg pain is constant and getting medication is nearly impossible.
Reasons to die? Many...Reasons to live? Not so many. Tis life..I don't fear death in the least and don't see it as a bad event in any case because we ALL die so it's only a matter of timing. Die now or die 20 years from now.. What's the difference? It WILL happen and since I have zero faith in any boogieman god that fear doesn't bother me and life is indeed difficult. Nobody has the right to tell me I HAVE to keep living it when they don't have to live with my pain. When I was young it was mental agony, but now it's both mental and physical. I live in poverty, I'm in a lot of pain, I have little to look forward to except more of the same crap... Oh yeah..so much to live for....Nobody has ever told me one of those wonderful things yet. Mostly I get how bad it'll be for everyone else so I stick around so everyone else can be happy at my expense.. What a way to live a life. huh?
i was in a gang called azteca guapa and i ran away to america and left the gang behind and was deported back. they found me, stabbed me in the lower stomach, and shot me in the right part of my chest. closest i ever came to dying, but never suicide. thats not the answer.
No I haven't. But your comment states a common notion among young people of their perception of death -- that it is not permanent. You can't "take a raincheck from good ol life for awhile." It's not a video game or movie. It's real and it's forever. There's help available. Get Help & Call 1-800-273 TALK National Suicide Prevention Hotline.
no.
I did when I was a child. So I have a great deal of empathy for people who are suicidal.
Be honest, would you rather have a privileged life in a world rapidly falling apart around you(but not close enough to effect you), or
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You're reading Have yo ever attempted suicide-I have so don't feel ashamed- Did you come close ? Why and how -looking back did ya wanna actually die-or maybe take a raincheck from good ol life for awhile--if anyone want to dicuss this further, please email me-ok?
Comments
i'm so sorry you feel that way
by Janie on May 2nd, 2008
It'll change
by RubyDoobyDoo on August 25th, 2009
I too have tried to off myself...3 times, only for .my 'other half' to call an ambulance and have me "saved" all three times....gee thanks.
I think it should be everyone's right to remove themselves from this world... I don't believe in family, my family "ousted me a very long time ago". I also regret waking in a hospital...I never wanted to wake up and I still don't....I will succeed....and there will be no one around to call 911, I'll make sure of that!!!!
by Sharon_P on August 17th, 2010