What is the average number of times per week most married couples have sex?

A survey by Durex, a leading research firm, found the frequency of sexual interaction varies significantly from country to country. The global average for frequency of sex is 109 times per year (2.1 times per week, or once every 3.3 days). The following summary shows how individual nations compare to the national average of frequency of sexual interaction per year.

Frequency By Country
United States 135
Russia 133
France 128
Germany 127
Britain 124


People from Thailand had the lowest average sexual frequency at 64 times per year, half the frequency of Americans.

Source: 1997 Durex Global Sex Survey

A couple must have sex atleast 3 times per week..because its not only good and healthy for a strong and healthy relationship but also for her/his mind and physical health...

unfortunately we average less than once a week... it can be frustrating

Well I have been with my husband for 4 years now, we went from making love 3 times a day to once a night and now barely once a week lol

The average times per week for newly married working couples is 5 in the first year of marriage and reduces to 2 per week after about 5 years of married life

it's all about romance...woman need to be courted even after you win their affection and hand in marriage...don't think your job is over and your gal is a plastic doll that turns on and off like a light switch....do something romantic and tender..surprise her with long stem roses and her favorite perfume....plan some quiet time...plan time with her doing what she likes...ask yourself if you could provide the kind of love she does with dinners and the house and the kids...take a hard look at your single men freinds and how empty their lives are and if you think you are suffering ...see a doctor for ego issues and lack of soul

Gosh, my husband and I have been married a year and a half and we still have sex every day. That said, we do have five children, so it's all a bit oh dear.

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Married people have sex?who knew.

Yeah, maybe, when you're 16 to 30 or so, but I am 55 and I HATE SEX! Making love is totally different, but my wife demands sex at least 3 times a week. She is 53. I totally abhor str8 sex, reducing it to a physical act, no feeling, no depth, just superficial "wham, bam, thank you ma'am" and it's over. GROSS. I mean that is TOTALLY GROSS. I would rather have a man and fuck my ass off than have sex with my wife. It is so totally gross. I do not know how God could have created something so utterly disgusting as sex. As I said, making love is something totally different. But sex for the sake of sex, no thanks!

We are married for 16years and still continue to enjoy sex atleast 5 times a week. She drives me crazy and i fill her with my intense love.

Hi i am married for 16 years and i enjoy sex with my wife. We sex atleast 5 times a week and the time of her periods we do it thru play act. My wife is very demanding so do i. We both fulfill each others desire and sex atleast for an hour. She drives me crazy & i fill her with my love.

We do it atleast 6 times a week.

Any body help me ........m little confused abt no. of times one should masturbate......m teen age boy......and i usually masturbate 5 times a week......and m not seeing any change in health or erection of my dick but a i have a doubt that its going to create some problem in future......so kindly all married people plz do reply whether its bad to do or not.......plz reply soon or more masturbating process is in progress..

been married 18months and i have had sex with her about 10times thats including the wedding night im bored and frustrated HELP !!! PLZ

You know, I'm in the same place you and these other guys are, and I read these kind of statements all the time. "My wife never wants it or just doesn't have time for it", etc. then I read where somebody (probably a woman) states that it's not all about you (the guy) and that "you should try helping out more around the house" or "pay more attention" or whatever but I'm here to tell you I hear of guys that basically RUN their entire household: work, housework, dealing with kids and everything but their poor wives "just can't get in the mood" or "they're tired" or "their hormone levels are off" or "Oprah told me not to". I basically think there's a growing problem, at least in the US, that society has made women feel they've been put to work in their households as unappreciated slaves and now no matter how much guys do it's never enough. I know of households where the wife doesn't work, cook, clean or anything and still isn't in the mood. It's somewhat an issue of political correctness and any light shown directly on it is offensively attacked and men are made to feel bad that they expect a relationship from their wife. Basically the wife becomes a pet or a college student because she doesn't contribute ANYTHING to the household but still consumes it resources. What's sad is that a lot marriages go bad because the guy looks someplace else because the women refuse to change. I'm not saying that's a good alternative because, in most cases, the next one's going to be just the same. I think it's a cultural issue that will have to change before a lot women feel they have an obligation to contribute to their marriage.



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Unfortunately I'm going to bring down the average. Once every 6 weeks. My wife has 0 sex drive. We've been married for23 years and the last 10 have seen very little sex. We've talked about it and she can't help it but she's just not interested. I've always been very considerate of her needs always making sure she would climaxe first. Guess I'm just lucky that way.

Antisex must not be doing it right

1 week a month she is on her period and that week is out. If you count the other week's that are non-menstral I am lucky to have sex once a week. My wife has and does feel that if she has sex with me that should hold me over until 5-6 days. It has nothing to do with her wanting me or what I need.

To be honest, I have thought long and hard about divorce. Unfortunately, us guys get no chance in divorce court.

I beleive it is a better option to just find a hooker and use her twice a week. Then when you see your wife it can be friendly with the sex removed. She will think the relationship is great and everyone could be happy.

I have not done this yet because I am nervous about getting a hooker. I get closer and closer to saying the heck with it every month. Once I do it I am sure I will not have a problem doing it again and again and again.

Life sucks when your partner is not providing you sex. Its lonely. Its miserable. It breeds major hate from one to the other.

That is where I am at right now.

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I have been with my husband for 7 years and we have to kids. My kids both think they need to sleep with us and that makes it hard. We have to get the kids to sleep and then sneek off to a more private place. All that being said we still have sex a few time a week at least. If we go more than a couple of days my husband starts to get grumpy. I would be happy with once a week or so, but to keep things happy in the relationship we have quikies a couple times a week, plus blowjobs. My husband would prefer it if I orgasmed every time. He's just a giver like that. But I just can't keep up with him. And ladies just because we have periods doesn't mean we can't give blow jobs. Our lives are easier when our men a satisfied. At least mine is.

wdf, i was sure that the comments would be that 120 in average per year is creppy very little, but you folks are posting nightmere stories of 0 drive for sex.. and shit, some of you are guys!

UI myself am in love with my fiance! She is beautiful, intelligent, loving, sexy, and all I have ever desired to have in my life. I am a very happy man when it comes to having her in my life! The only dilemma in our relationship is that my sex drive is so much higher than hers. We have both been married before. Her ex rarely had sex with her but they do have 2 children together which are both quite young still (almost 5 & 9 years old). At first love making was nearly every day and even a few times a day. Now, I seem to be lucky to make love 2 times a week. We have only been together 1 and 1/2 years. I miss making love to her. I seem to be the one who initiates it almost 99% of the time. We get along great, but I am getting so frustrated now that I tend to feel depressed. I truely don't want to lose her and can't even sleep at night due to my desire to feel her sexually desire me. I am even starting to feel like she doesn't even desire me. I am beginning to think that she doesn't want to be with me intimately and would rather be just friends. This is killing me. I take good care of her but am worried she is only with me because she feels sorry for me. I cook, clean, do all the laundry, as well as other things out of love for her. Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do to somehow get her interested in wanting to please my needs? We cuddle nightly but the lovemaking just doesn't happen. I have to really try or catch her off guard and take charge to get any. I want her to come on to me from time to time. Help! Sincerely, desperate and Sincerely in love!

Hubby and I have a pretty high sex drive. We have been making love most mornings and evenings every day we have been together, for 30+ years. Of course, we have had to work to keep it interesting. We have stayed in shape and healthy. We both sleep nude, in a double size bed, so that actually keeps us intimate. When we go on vacation and sleep in a queen or king size bed it feels like we are in different beds because of its size.

whenever there are not sandwiches to be made

Well I havew been married for six years and I am 23 and we have two time per day or more But we both have a high sex drives.

A week? Try a year! My wife only puts out twice a year.

UI myself am in love with my fiance! She is beautiful, intelligent, loving, sexy, and all I have ever desired to have in my life. I am a very happy man when it comes to having her in my life! The only dilemma in our relationship is that my sex drive is so much higher than hers. We have both been married before. Her ex rarely had sex with her but they do have 2 children together which are both quite young still (almost 5 & 9 years old). At first love making was nearly every day and even a few times a day. Now, I seem to be lucky to make love 2 times a week. We have only been together 1 and 1/2 years. I miss making love to her. I seem to be the one who initiates it almost 99% of the time. We get along great, but I am getting so frustrated now that I tend to feel depressed. I truely don't want to lose her and can't even sleep at night due to my desire to feel her sexually desire me. I am even starting to feel like she doesn't even desire me. I am beginning to think that she doesn't want to be with me intimately and would rather be just friends. This is killing me. I take good care of her but am worried she is only with me because she feels sorry for me. I cook, clean, do all the laundry, as well as other things out of love for her. Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do to somehow get her interested in wanting to please my needs? We cuddle nightly but the lovemaking just doesn't happen. I have to really try or catch her off guard and take charge to get any. I want her to come on to me from time to time. Help! Sincerely, desperate and Sincerely in love!

I have sex with my partner up to 18 times a day! A minimum of 3 times a day bar when im on my period. I have had sex with my partner every period-free day bar two days since we got together. We have very high sex drives. I dont see how u can put up with such little amount of sex! I crave it x

Sixth time quoting Yasir Qadhi;

The most common complaint amongst men is that their wives are not as interested in sexual intimacy as the men are. And likewise, the most common complaint amongst women is that their husbands are just interested in sex and only come close to them for one purpose.


One of the primary reasons for this disparity is the issue of sexual arousal.


A man’s arousal is like a microwave: it can be turned on instantly. A woman’s arousal, on the other hand, is like an oven: it slowly and gradually heats up over time. This is why when a husband approaches his wife, he is already turned on and aroused. He seeks instant gratification. He mistakenly assumes that his wife will get aroused as instantaneously as he does, and gets frustrated when she doesn’t respond to him the way that he wants.


Conversely, a woman feels frustrated that her husband wishes her to ‘perform’ on demand, without her emotional or physical needs being addressed first.


Men must be more sensitive to a woman’s needs, and understand that for a woman to start her arousal oven, she needs to feel loved, cherished, and beautiful. She needs to feel emotionally satisfied, otherwise she will feel like the man is just taking advantage of the fact that she is his wife and must obey. The most intimate act of marriage, that of sex, will become a chore for her that she dreads instead of enjoys. It is a husband’s responsibility to make sure that he has addressed the emotional needs of his wife before he approaches her. The best way a man can do this is through romance, non-sexual touching and helping her deal with the stresses of daily life (all of which we have discussed in the last few emails).


Men need sex to feel loved and appreciated. When a man approaches his wife, he is showing that he loves her. This is why when a wife does the act unwillingly, with little excitement, and treats it like a chore, the man feels rejected.


In turn, women need to understand that romance is something that does not come naturally to men, as men don’t need romance to be aroused or feel loved. Women need to be patient and continually try to explain this to their partners.


In conclusion, both men and women need to understand the differences in the mechanisms of arousal, and be sensitive towards each other’s needs. A man needs to try and be more attentive beforehand as this is vital for a woman’s enjoyment. The woman needs to understand that a man’s arousal is instant and for him intimacy equals love, so intimacy needs to be a priority on her list.

It seems to decline dramatically after 7-12 years. Teenage kids are also a total sex killer. We have 2 girls and the younger one finally just went off to college this month. For the last 6-7 years my wife has used the fact that the kids are at home as a common reason to avoid having sex. The other reasons she gives I have bad PMS, period, tired, sore back, stuffy nose, too full, too tired and too early when it is the morning.

We without question fall into what is called a 'sexless marriage' , sex 1x per month or less.

I already told wife that after 22 years and with the kids now out we need to try and change this situation. For the past 6 years about I have been the one expressing interest in sex 100% of the time. This also means I have been shot down 99% of the time. Of couse that is not a real confidence builder and also causes other problemns. I have explained to her that being friends and roomates is not a strong marriage. Being maried means there should also be something more like a physical desire and attraction for the touch of each other. I will have to see how things play out over the next few months.

Fifth time quoting Yasir Qadhi:

Love has many languages. By this, we mean that there are different ways that people express love and recognize it. Many times, the way that a person expresses love is not the same way that their partner wants to hear it.


Imagine, if you will, two people who are speaking different languages to one another – say, Chinese and Swahili. Even though one of them might be saying ‘I love you’ in her language, the other person simply has no clue that this is a message of love. They are not communicating in the same wavelength.


Many times, a person feels unloved by his or her spouse because the expected language to hear that love never materializes. Yet, if the spouse were asked about his or her feelings, it would become clear that true love does actually exist. It’s just a matter of not communicating the feeling of love properly to the other party.


For example, some people express their love by wanting to spend quality time with their beloved. This is generally more common amongst women. If a wife does not get to spend quality time with her husband, she might feel unloved, even if he is showing his love to her in other ways (by spending his money on her, for example). On the other hand, other people express love by physical acts, such as kissing and sexual activity. This is more common amongst men. When a man regularly approaches his wife, he is showing that he loves her. Yet, the wife is not ‘hearing’ this love because in her vocabulary, love must be expressed in a different language – that of time. Unless and until she sees this aspect, she will find it difficult to understand that her husband loves her.


Another language of love is helping the one whom you love. A wife might show her love for her husband by taking care of his daily needs and household chores. But it is possible that the husband does not hear this love, because he is not tuned into this language! Rather, he might be expecting it in different ways. Therefore, all of the acts of devotion and dedication that the wife shows to her husband are simply ‘tuned out’, like a foreign language, because that is not what he wants to hear to confirm his wife’s love for him.


By understanding the different ways that people show love, each spouse can better appreciate the languages of love that his or her spouse speaks. Many people unknowingly speak more than one language of love – however, until the other partner learns to listen to and recognize that language, all of these beautiful expressions of love will be lost and evaporate into thin air.

Third time quoting Yasir Qadhi;

a woman’s primary need for her husband is emotional. She wants to share an emotional connection based on love, commitment and acceptance. A good husband must love his wife both as a person (meaning her personality) and as a woman (meaning her physical body).

One of the ways a man can fulfill this emotional need is through romance. During the ‘honeymoon period,’ romance is easy for most men. This is because everything about the relationship is new and exciting; the man is continuously day-dreaming about his wife and is eager to communicate that to her. It is easier for men to be more attentive and show extra tenderness during this phase.

But true romance is when a man continues this even after the ‘honeymoon’ phase. It is when the husband makes an effort to keep the marriage alive, thinks about ways to please his wife, and genuinely strives to make her feel loved and appreciated.

Unfortunately, after the honeymoon phase, romance loses its appeal for most men, and in fact becomes awkward and even unnatural! But thank God, it is not difficult, and with the correct intention and mindset, romance can easily be re-learnt.


There are many ways a man can show romance. Let us get started by mentioning two types of romance:

1. Spontaneous Romance:

These are little acts that the husband does to show affection without being prompted. The key concept here is to be spontaneous. The element of surprise is crucial! It is not what you do that is as important as simply doing something personal. This could include sending her a message saying “I love you” via text, email, or a little sticky note placed in a convenient place. Other examples include buying her an unexpected gift, or giving her a tight hug or a passionate kiss when she least expects it. These acts keep the marriage alive, as it injects excitement and heat into the relationship. This spontaneity helps melts away any resentment that inevitably builds up.

2. Responsive Romance:

These are acts that the husband does in response to a situation at hand. They are done when a husband finds his wife emotionally or physically down. For example, ordering food from outside if her day was hectic; giving her a massage if her back is sore; or simply sitting down with her and listening to her if she is upset about an incident that happened. These acts show genuine care, and strengthen and deepen the marital bond.


The fact of the matter is that many men are scared by the word ‘romance’; they feel that it is beyond them. Yet true romance is nothing more or less than appreciating a woman for who she is, looking after her, and caring for her.

Remember the beautiful hadith in which our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) compared women to ‘…fragile vessels,’ and reminded us to be gentle with them (Reported by al-Bukhari). Emotionally, women are different than men, and protecting these fragile vessels in every way possible is the best (and most natural) job men can do.

A lot of men here are complaining that their wives don't give them any. Some of you are even considering hiring hookers to get some.. But if your going to go through all that trouble. Stop. Wait. Read the following. And let your wife read it too. Who knows.. it might just fix your marriage.

Quoting Yasir Qadhi:

God has created men and women differently. One of the most pronounced differences between genders when it comes to issues of intimacy is arousal. Each gender has been keyed to respond to different senses. If a couple wishes to maximize feelings of closeness and intimacy, it is essential that each party understands the other’s arousal mechanism.

For men, the primary sense of arousal is physical. Seeing the figure, smelling the aroma, and touching the body of a woman is what arouses a man. When a man’s physical needs are satisfied, he is most likely to reciprocate with emotional responses.

For a woman, on the other hand, the primary sense of arousal is emotional. Feeling loved, appreciated and cared for are the underlying emotional factors that will mostly make the woman love back in return. When a woman’s emotional needs are satisfied, she is more likely to reciprocate with physical responses.

One of the biggest sources of conflict in a marriage is this simple lack of understanding. Women feel used when their husbands take advantage of them physically but ignore their emotional needs. On the other hand, men feel frustrated that their wives are so withdrawn and cold during acts of intimacy, complaining both at the quantity and quality of these acts. Both parties need to give more of what the other party wants, in order to receive back what they themselves desire.

A marriage is a give-and-take relationship. It is a two way street. You must give the best of what your partner wants in order to obtain the best of what you wish to receive. Men need to learn to be more sensitive and understanding, and women need to learn to be more physical.


.... There's more!

Again, Quoting Yasir Qadhi:

A husband must take into account that a woman’s needs and expectations are different than a man’s. Great intimacy can only be achieved if a woman finds a complete, fulfilling relationship.

So what are women looking for in a marriage?

Women get married to find a special best friend. They want someone who will share their secrets, laugh and joke with them, love them, cherish them, adore them, be romantic with them, and make them feel beautiful and sexy. They want someone who will be attracted to them emotionally through their personality, and attracted to them physically through their bodies.

A woman wants a partner who will strive together with her through this life; laughing and rejoicing through the good times, and sticking by each other and supporting each other through the bad times. She wants a man strong in his deen who can stand up and take the responsibility of the household, and help raise the children in accordance with Islam.


A woman wants her husband to be her friend, companion, and soul mate.

Any good husband must realize that a woman’s primary need is emotional.He must take into account the prophetic tradition “The best of you are those who are best to their wives,” [Sahih al-Bukhari], and then strive to be the best to his wife.

Men have been assigned the responsibility by God to take care of their wives, and this entails treating them with love and respect, and striving to make them happy. If a husband can fulfill his wife’s primary needs, not only will Allah reward him, his wife will be content with him, and together the couple’s life will be more harmonious. Moreover, when a woman’s needs are fulfilled she will be more willing to fulfill her husband’s needs.


The best way to satisfy a woman’s emotional needs is to listen to her and respond to her with compassion. By listening to her intently, with your undivided attention, and taking a genuine interest in what she has to say, she will feel loved, cherished and important. Realize that when she approaches you with her problems, she doesn’t necessarily want solutions, she just wants sympathy and understanding.

I am 40. I am married for 12 years, still me and my wife enjoyed our sex life. We use to have sex at least 2 times and maximum 4 times a week. Last year I calculated that we did sex for 141 times. Still I enjoyed sex with my wife. This is also the best relaxation for me.