Twenty-four years ago, I discovered Arnold Schwarzenegger. I saw a book with a photo of him flexing a huge bicep. A friend of mine bought me the book. I've read about him, watched his movies, and I've grown to admire him.

From afar. ;) Well, I admire my boyfriend's qualities. I love him for his honesty, his mind, and his willing to love me, too. It's more of a matter of the heart than anything else. He doesn't know what's going on in my heart, but he can certainly guess. I have this underlying deep routed feeling for him, and not the kind of feeling that says "I am in love with you", and not the kind of feeling how an every day feeling is described, but the kind of feeling, the kind of love that says, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be with you." I understand this enough to recognize it. I understand it enough to know that anything he says, I will not turn my back on him, and I understand that although it might not be my duty to forgive him, I will anyway. If he wants to, he can be completely honest with me, and I will still stick with him. Even when we broke up, this thing we had deep down for each other brought us back together again. If it's not love, what is it? It certainly cannot be infatuation, because we both understand that we are both human. I wouldn't even consider it unreasonable, because it makes sense to me. He is the kind of person I could walk down the street with, and not talk, because I am completely comfortable in his presence (other than when I am scared of getting caught, because I don't want to lose him). I don't need to convince myself that I am. I already know. I know that he's there for me. I know that he thinks of me. I know that he cares about me. I know that he appreciates me. I know that he will forgive me if I do something stupid. I trust him more than anyone else. There is something that draws me to him. Perhaps it is a mutual understanding. Perhaps it is because I allowed my heart, which has been broken twice before him, to open up to him, to give him the power to hurt me. I suppose my answer is, .... I admire him because I have given my heart to him, trusting that he will not shatter it into pieces like my two ex's have done, whether they did it unintentionally or not. On a final note: I love him. I have no need to show him off when we are out together in public, because I already know that I do. I don't need to convince myself that I do, because I already know. It doesn't matter what the world thinks. It matters what I know, because I know what is inside my heart, and that is what matters. Now, I hope he knows what's in my heart, too.

I pay A LOT more attention to them.

Usually from afar yo...

keep looking at them...