- NEW!
by katespana on April 21st, 2008
It's hard not to have sex when you're so close and relaxed together. If you are attracted to each other the chemistry and natural biological urges will take precedence in the middle of the night. You'd be better advised to decide whether you want and are ready for a sexual commitment then at least you go into it with your eyes 'wide open' rather than half or fully asleep! And you can take the appropriate steps to protect yourself from pregnancy too, that way.
by LJPearl on April 13th, 2008
If you do not want to have sex with the guy, then I would not sleep in the same bed.
Regardless of your or his intent, temptation could take it to another level in no time.
by th1s1sit on April 12th, 2008
If I didn't want to have sex with this person, I would not share a bed with him. Sounds like it could cause all sorts of miscommunications.
by failed_stoic on November 21st, 2009
It could be sincere. How much confidence do you have in your ability to tell him to back off in the event he takes it further than you're comfortable with? How likely is it that he is really trying to seduce you? Maybe you'd like cuddling. You're in the best position to analyze the situation's pros and cons.
...
Boy, I just realized how late I've answerd this question. It looked like an interesting question, but it was asked quite some time ago.
by bbgunngirl on September 13th, 2009
well just ask him make him promise he wont try anything and if he wont just dont sleep in the same bed as him.
by Anonymous on November 22nd, 2009
Of course he can be sincere.
+5
by Snowman on July 22nd, 2011
In my experience it has been the other way around. A couple times a girl has come home with me and then got timid and changed her mind. Once it happened when we were already in bed. I just rolled over and went to sleep. I'm not going to argue with a woman who changes her mind after she has already climbed into bed with me, but I don't bother calling her after that. It's the pinnacle of flakiness. It's best to avoid sex with flaky women. You don't know what they might say later.
About sleeping with a guy: it depends on how well you know him. You don't want to climb into bed with a stranger you picked up hitchhiking, especially if you see fresh blood stains on his clothes and a crazed look in his eyes. I wouldn't trust Charles Manson, for one.
Even somebody you know, like a friend of a friend, could suddenly become demanding and forceful. How will you explain it later, to the police, or a judge, or your mother? "Well, your honor, I let him sleep with me b/c he promised he just wanted to sleep. But suddenly he changed his mind and he grabbed me and- and- I was so confused!"
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You're reading A guy tells you he wants to sleep with you in one bed but not have sex. Can it be sincere or will he try to have sex and thats a way to get you in bed with him?
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Comments
i do not agree that the natural urges will take precedence... i have been in such situations before and even though it got very very heated i did not lose control or cross the boundaries that i had.
the question remains... i would love for that to be possible-- to sleep with somebody and not have sex (and from my side it would) but how do i know that the other side is honest with me and doesnt try to get me in bed so that the biological urges take control (or so they may think)
by totally_confused on April 21st, 2008
I imagine if you are resisting this guy's attempts to make your relationship sexual then of course he may be thinking that you will be less resistant if he sleeps with you. He may be thinking that his desire will affect you in a similar way. He might mean what he says, too, but that could change on the night. You would be making yourself very vulnerable, how well do you know him? It would be hard to accuse him of rape in such a situation - and the nicest men can force a girl if they're very aroused. You need to stay in your own bed. If you had no physical desire for each other then it might, just might, be possible. (Do you often sleep with guys and say 'no'? - Just a thought...)
by katespana on April 23rd, 2008
well, the answer is yes! i did that a few times and it worked. this guy i do not know too well and this is my first concern and the reason why i dont want things to go to far! i have take the risk before and it worked very well but then we discussed it in much more detail and had clear rules.. anyway, thanks for the answer! fortunatelly or unfortuantelly the situation resolved itself since the offer is not longer valid :-/
by totally_confused on April 23rd, 2008
Well, at least that's solved your dilemma. But I feel that you enjoy risk-taking in some way? Please be careful as you can only know yourself, not another person and the way they will behave. Why do you want to do this? Just to be close? If you have a close relationship then that's close isn't it? If you're not ready for sex, please don't play with fire. lol x
by katespana on April 24th, 2008
risk-taking, really would not agree with what you say!!! its absolutelly not about taking risk. true, i only know myslef and therefore i asked the question in the first place!
why do/did i want to do that?! Yes, to be close... yes because physical closness is something very very tempting and pleasant and yet to have sex i need something more serious...
in a way i wanted a male perspective. how easy it is for a men to sleep with a woman in one bad and yet now have sex!
by totally_confused on April 24th, 2008
ah, well, I'm a woman, sorry. But I have known a few men in my time and they wouldn't have found it easy. When I was a lot younger I shared a bed with a good male friend, we seemed not to fancy each other sexually normally. But, once in that bed, well - let's say he changed. I didn't get much sleep that night! (But we didn't have sex, not for want of him trying tho'.)
by katespana on April 25th, 2008
of course i appreciate your answer and any comment is welcome... sorry if it seemed like i dont want a female perspective as well!
its strange as we keep exchanging comment the situation keeps developing in a way! i said the offer is not more valid but it seems that the idea of sleeping in one bad may be reintroduced... its still more then tempting but far from happening at this stage! :-)
by totally_confused on April 25th, 2008
Just ask yourself what it is you're really looking for. If you are still quite young (?) I can understand your interest but do think careflully what the consequences might be before you do anything you might regret. Good luck.
by katespana on April 28th, 2008
i keep asking myself and the more i ask the more i realize that maybe i was to fast to assume that sharing a bed with him was what i wanted...i am sure it is absolutely possible with some people but as i said before i do not know this about the person i am talking about thats why i will most probably give it a pass...and by quite young you mean?!
by totally_confused on April 28th, 2008
Hey! No offence intended. 'Quite young' meant simply that maybe you were a little inexperienced that's all, that's no insult to you.
by katespana on April 29th, 2008
:-) no offence taken...i was just wondering whether my question and my comments made me look younger and less experienced than i am! i will keep it a secret, ok?!... lets just say im not THAT young
by totally_confused on April 29th, 2008