ANSWERS: 24
  • "Let there be light"
  • "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction" Meaning, be careful what you throw out into the world, there will be consequences! :)
  • Physics is Phun! Nitrous Oxide is no laughing matter! (it's a gas,not matter,get it??? I'm cracking myself up, here.)
  • We are driven by five genetic needs: Survival Love and belonging Power Freedom and Fun. William Glasser
  • 1) To hell with the birds and bees. Tell me more about k-mesons and quarks. 2) Why do I get stuck with all the proto-simians for lab partners? 3) The last couple that bonded in Chemistry class managed to blow up the lab. 4) Whose night is it to add chlorine to the gene pool? 5) That forensics guy gives me the creeps. He keeps asking for DNA samples. 6) Evolve at your own risk. 7) Lets see your double helix twist bend space and time.
  • Cute genetics cartoons by Frank & Ernst: http://watson.hgen.pitt.edu/humor/jokes.html Biology (sorry, don't know sources) "Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division." "Evolution is God's way of issuing upgrades." "What did one Drosophila say to the other Drosophila? Your human is down!" Chemistry There are usually posters or such available annually for Mole Day [October 23, commemorating Avogadro's Number (6.02 x 10^23)]. There's also a slew of Mole jokes, like: http://www.moleday.org/htdocs/mole_jokes.html
  • It's kind of more math-y but I saw this on my friend's shirt: i2 (squared) Keeping it real!
  • "Physics is like sex. It may give some practical results, but that's not why we do it!" -- Richard P. Feynman
  • "Ouch!" Sir Isaac Newton
  • "The entire universe is in a state of entropy. This means that change is both inevitable and unavoidable. Staying the same is an impossibility. The best we can hope for is to choose wisely the speed and direction of each of our next changes." "The absence of proof is not the same as the proof of absence." S.E.T.I. "No one person can ever change the truth, but the truth, once learned, can and will change the person." Buddha. "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get" "Plan Ahe- ad"
  • "You can have your own truth, but not your own facts!" "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not "Eureka!" but rather "That's funny ..." "Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that such a thing necessarily exists. Science does not even promise that everything in the Universe is amenable to the scientific process." "My studies in Speculative philosophy, metaphysics, and science are all summed up in the image of a mouse called man running in and out of every hole in the Cosmos hunting for the Absolute Cheese." "There are no sects in geometry."
  • I collect quotes (one source is widgets from igoogle) and these were some related to math/science/by scientists. There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. -Aristotle The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance. -Socrates Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. -Aristotle In questions of science, the authority of a thousand is not worth the humble reasoning of a single individual. -Galileo The Milky Way is nothing else but a mass of innumerable stars planted together in clusters. -Galileo It is surely harmful to souls to make it a heresy to believe what is proved. -Galileo By denying scientific principles, one may maintain any paradox. -Galileo Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth. -Albert Einstein, physicist, Nobel laureate (1879-1955) "A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest...a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in it's beauty." - Albert Einstein O hidden Life, vibrant in every atom, O hidden Light, shining in every creature, O hidden Love, embracing all in oneness, May all who feel themselves as one with Thee, Know they are therefore one with every other. -Annie Besant "How can I help it?" he blubbered. "How can I help seeing what is in front of my eyes? Two and two are four." "Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once. You must try harder. It is not easy to become sane." - George Orwell, from 1984 "It is better to believe, than to disbelieve; in so doing you bring everything to the realm of possibility." -Albert Einstein. I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones. -Albert Einstein Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. -Albert Einstein (1879-1955) The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. -Einstein Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death. -Albert Einstein It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder. -Einstein If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor. -Einstein The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources. -Albert Einstein If I give you a pfennig, you will be one pfennig richer and I'll be one pfennig poorer. But if I give you an idea, you will have a new idea, but I shall still have it, too. -Einstein
  • Here's one that's actually from Shakespeare that sort of gets the idea that there may never be a complete "theory of everything" theory: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy."
  • "Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils." (Hector Berlioz) "Imagination is more important than knowledge." (Albert Einstein) "I haven’t lost my mind - it’s archived on disk somewhere." "Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak." "Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?" "If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?" "Everything that can be invented has been invented." (Charles H Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899) "If it weren’t for electricity, we’d all be watching television by candlelight." (George Gobel) "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one." (Albert Einstein) "Orville Wright did not have a pilot’s licence." (Gordon MacKenzie) "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines." (Frank Lloyd Wright) "I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work." (Thomas Edison)
  • How do you tell the sex of a chromosome? Take its genes off.
  • Nothing in biology makes sense except in the light of evolution But I would go for something very meaningful and thick rather than witty and brief. Like a paragraph from someone's research journal.
  • "All science except physics is stamp collecting" I think Ernest Rutherford. My favorite one, dont think she'll like it
  • Adam Had'em
  • How about a big yin/yang.
  • In a recent genetic break through scientists announced they had found the gene for shyness. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We would have found it earlier but it was sitting by itself in the corner behind some other genes." - I don't know where that one came from ------------------------------------------------------- Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though. ======================================================= One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can't. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. - Mostly Harmless (Douglas Adams) ------------------------------------------------------- In other news a government study has concluded that the number one cause of pregnancy is sex. The number two cause, sex ten minutes later. - Weekend Update with Kevin Nealon ------------------------------------------------------- That's all I've got for now
  • For a real sweet time, call C6H12O6. Chemistry professors never die, they just smell that way. Gravity brings me down. Black holes suck! Biology grows on you.
  • I just want to get into your genes.
  • "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." -Einstein
  • I was born this way

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