by Athenasocrates on August 9th, 2006

Athenasocrates

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Can a man truly be in love or even be falling in love, if he's also telling you that he wants to be free to sleep with other people?

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  • by Anonymous on August 9th, 2006

    Anonymous

    As the saying goes, "you cannot have your cake and eat it, too". this man sounds like he just graduated from the heartbreak hotel for lovers. a true con artist statement, if there ever was one.

    Read between his lines. what he is really saying is.."i want a lineup of girls available, in case one becomes sick and cannot perform".

    This is your wakeup call....WAKE UP!!!

    This person is bad news. and, who needs bad news? he just wants to add you to his availabilty list...another notch on his gunbelt.

    Run, don't walk away.....and don't look back.

    I can tell, by the way you asked this question, that you are in love with this person. my answer may not be what you want to read, but i promise, you will be just another victim of his heartbreak hotel.

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  • by Anonymous on August 9th, 2006

    Anonymous

    I'll answer this tentatively:

    Possibly, he could be. Some people put different values and associations on sex- are able to seperate it from love essentially. And it may be that he can be completely in love yet still continue purely sexual relationships with other people.

    BUT:
    This doesn't necessarily mean its a good idea to enter into a relationship with him.
    Open relationships can and do work, but both members of the couple have to be totally comfortable with the arrangement, rather than allowing something that hurts them to happen just to hang on to the other person. Although I obviously don't knowthe full situation between you, if you're worrying about this question it seems to me you have different values to this man, and in the long run its likely you will get very hurt, or at least do some considerable damage to your self-esteem. The fact that he is spending time away from the girl he supposedly loves will also make it doubly difficult for her, as at least with most open relationships couples are able to keep a close eye on each others activities and step in to stop anything they are not comfortable with. Not being sure what your partner is up to at any given time can lead to all sorts of damaging trust and self-esteem issues that aren't at all healthy.
    My suggestion is that you don't enter into a relationship with this guy, at least not at this stage. By all means stay in casual contact as friends, maybe send emails or call each other now and then, maybe once he's got the promiscuity bug out of his system he'll start to feel differently, maybe not. Maybe you will start to feel differently, maybe not- but it doesn't sound like this is the time or situation to be getting into a relationship with this guy.

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  • by Roger Kovaciny on August 9th, 2006

    Roger Kovaciny

    He's truly in love. With himself. Unless you're both in love with the same man, you should have nothing in common with him.

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  • by mindfarm on August 9th, 2006

    mindfarm

    He doesn't sound like much of a winner. I hope he is not telling you he is in love with you at the same time he telling you he wants to sleep with other people. In addition to his insincerity, There is a lot more stuf going around he could have picked up off one of the other girls and transmit to you. whatever you do. Be careful, for your physical health as well as your emotional/mental health.

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  • by ORSONANN on July 25th, 2007

    ORSONANN

    ABSOLUTELY NOT. IF HE TRYLY LOVES YOU, HE IS COMMITTED IN HIS HEART, AND WOULD WANT TO BE ONLY WITH YOU.

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  • by unknown on September 28th, 2009

    unknown

    I personally don't think so, cause a guy who can casually sleep with other people doesn't care about you or what you do either. Another guy who uses the falling in love phrase to get what he wants, I hate men who do that.

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  • by Athenasocrates on August 13th, 2006

    Athenasocrates

    Thanks Lady Fuscia - You definately hit the nail on the head with with self-esteem and trust issues -worrying what the other is doing is inevitable when there is no committment, it can become an obsession which is unhealthy. The guy said he didnt want a relationship, but then changed it to a "Casual relationship" but maintained he was falling in love, and was happy to continue without expectations of what will be.. "to look forward to new feelings without expectations" - is this some yarn to be able to sleep with ohter people or what.. He had said previously, before saying he wanted no attachments, that if he had a girlfriend he wouldnt dream of sleeping with someone else. Thanks again

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  • by Anonymous on August 24th, 2009

    Anonymous

    Yes,men fall in love with multiple women all of the time. It is the nature of some men to rescue, protect and care for as many women as they can. The question to be asked is whether you are comfortable with that type of relationship. Ask him if he is comfortable with you sleeping with someone else. If he is, then he is probably sincere and honest in the relationship he wants with you. If he does not want you to sleep with other people then he is a manipulative egomaniac who you should never talk to again.

  • by ladyshakespeare on August 24th, 2009

    ladyshakespeare

    no, he is toying with your emotions in order to allow usage of you and others at the same time

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  • by Psycho the kid on July 25th, 2007

    Psycho the kid

    love isn't real.

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