What do you think of people that have no friends?

I've struggled with keeping constant friends my whole life. Right now I don't have any. Yeah, it can be tough but I'd rather have no friends than people who aren't very good friends but rather just people I say hello and bye too. I'm just not interested in fake or superficial relationships. I guess I'm kind of all or nothing that way. I am still social at times depending on the situation but for the most part I won't get too involved with someone unless I know they are someone I can trust and depend on to be there for me when I want someone to listen to me.

I don't feel sorry for them. Sometimes it's better to have no friends than the wrong friends.

I don't judge them, and therefore it's difficult to have an opinion of them.

Depending on the situation, I think they're choosy and won't mix with people they don't feel are akin to them. I rather admire these people, for choosing to be alone rather than mix with people they don't want to at heart, and for having that strength of character.

I might think they're rather arrogant and 'stuck up'.
I might think they are shy, lack confidence and have difficulty mixing with others.

After all, some people prefer their own company.

I feel sorry for them...some people are just terrified of social interactment..my sister growing up had no friends at all and was terrified of going out anywhere to the mall or bowling or just something fun like that...it is hard for some people to understand how these people could be so anti-social but when you see it first hand you really realise that sometimes they are just truly afraid...

I think it sucks, Ive ended up in a new state, and new job etc and I dont know any one out here, all my friends and family are back in cali and you cant really meet new people by going out on your own, you jsut get looked at like a loner if your sitting at the bar having a drink by yourself and trying to talk to everyone else and see what there doing later and trying to get numbers you jsut look like a desprite loser. - or you would appear to be waiting for someone etc. alla nd all this shit is really stupid and all that ends up happening is you end up going home alone to sit by yourself, alnoe, jack off and go to sleep with the useless hope that something might work out tommorow but its the same thing day in and day out and nothing changes, soon you begin to jsut confine yourself to your house after work sleep then go back to work and go home to sleep and sleep all day and stay in bed on your day off, get up to eat, shower jerk off and go back to bed, its really depressing and you feel like dieing cuz you have no life and life is pointless. - sometimes you meet someone and have a conversation but if you dont know them that well and ask them if they want to hit up the bar friday or hang out and do whatever it is that you 2 have in common like play guitar or dj or waht ever the new person alwayssays that they are too busy or have work or some excuse evan it might be an insecurity they have about themselves that they are not willing to meet new people. so all and all the situation is extreamly gay. so you go back home to play on myspace or call family or an old friend jsut to raise your social points for the day but nothing hels so you download more porn jack off again and go to sleep and wake up to smoke more pot then go back to bed wake up and eat watch tv, probably start jacking off again and go to bed. its a fucked up cycle thats all i can say - fuck the world and its not my fault! therse nothing wrong with me, im an intresting guy with a successful career and nice home and car, very into music and arts - (sounds like a normal guy right?) but if i jsut meet you at a bar or library then we have no emotional connection - but ... if i met you at a bar and we had both gone to the same highschool or worked for the same company or something like that there might be a better chance but its hadrd to hit it off in jsut a few minutes or hours and exchange numbers and make plans for next week etc - what a bunch of bull shit, it makes me want to give up everything im doing out here and move back home where i had a few friends that would jsut be down to hang out and drink and get high and watch the simpsons or play nintendo etc like back in the good ole days, now in the adult world no one jsut hangs out now, the only time people have other people over is at a event like a bbq or a fucking tupperware party - what happened to jsut sayiong whats up man, wanna chill later, - well im just watching a movie but come over if you want - cool ill bring an 18 pack, cool - see you in a bit - WHAT HAPPEND? - rainbowwisp1984@yahoo.com

Well, being one myself, I have great sympathy for my fellow loners.

I was once like that and I have to say its a lonely place

It is too simplitsic to offer answers to such a question, unless you are a trained psychologist or you are someone who chooses not to have friends. In addition, I object to the premise and declaration that having no friends is anti-social. Why ?

Why must society be a priority or, in fact, be of any importance at all ?

There are lots of people who don't NEED other people constantly in their lives and are very happy, thank you very much, with their own company and perhaps a sprinkling of one or more folk from time to time.

It doesn't mean they don't interact with the world, its just that they choose to do so in a different way from the dictats of mainstream society.

And lets face it people, there is no real society anyway, not in the modern world as we know it - there is only the appearance of society, put together by the forces of markets, fear and control by mongers of those same forces, so lets not get up on our high horses.

I must be awfully Pollyanna-like...I don't want to think about that there might be people without any friends at all.

But, if someone were truly friendless, I'd not judge him/her. If s/he needed a friend, I would try to be one. If s/he just didn't want to let anyone in, I'd respect that desire.

Sometimes it's not worth the aggravation of having friends. Some are so damn high-maintenance. I stopped being friends with a couple of them because they wanted to get together so frequently and if I didn't call, there was something wrong with me. I don't have many but the few I have, I see maybe a few times a year but talk on the phone daily. I like it that way. Not everyone seeks to be surrounded by people. I do not think there is anything wrong with people that do not have any friends, as long as it's their choice. I do have a lot of acquaintances though.

So? I've had times in my life when I had no friends? People can be cruel if they don't like something about the person - like their income level or their race or their weight...sad-sack excuses for not talking to someone.

i recently lost all my friends due to my excessive partying and what they deemed a generally selfish attitude. what they don't know is that i have been in the throes of bulimia for the past two years. if i had been more honest about what was really going on in my life maybe they would have better understood some of my other actions. i know now that losing their friendships was another bad choice i made and now i have to suffer the consequences (being terribly lonely as school doesn't even start for another month and i have no idea how to meet new people in the meantime). if you have no friends there probably IS a reason behind it, but these reasons are varied as some people are simply very shy and have trouble associating with others to begin with, and others are outgoing and attract others but cannot maintain healthy relationships due to some flaw on their part (bossiness, bitchiness, drug addiction, etc.).

Sadly, there's usually a reason behind that.

I have no friends because im terrifed of social situations and general talking to people, and i feel that everybody around my age (19) dont understand my anxietys, even though i told them. Recently the whole class (14) went out on a pub crawl, and they all "gang" up on me because i didnt want to go, because i get anxiety attacks. and they just make me feel so uncomfortable, people should respect other peoples wishes. In Lower school I did have 3 friends but only to find out that they were my friends because we were in the same class. (i was ditch in 6th form, when i was no longer needed) and spent the last 3 years on my own and im now going to Uni, so i will crash and burn, but like Carmella Candy said (along the lines) im not a sheep or a suck up, and dont fall into peer pressure, which is a strength, so back to the question: what do you think of people that have no friends?- they have a back bone and their own mines, as well as anxietys, but overall strong and deep minded.

they are anti-social or maybe they want to be left alone

I think it is sad if they want friends and try really hard to have friends, but if they are just antisocial even when people try to be their friend they are just stupid

i'm the type of person that i have always had one good friend as opposed to a group of friends.my best friend that i had for 20 years was my cousin and he has recently married and moved.no more do we hang out all night every night.we are identical.same musical interests,,same movies..same personal belief system about life and death and morality and what crossed the lines as being immoral...definitely neither one of us is gay.we're hetro.talked about anything and everything..stuff that even most guys don't talk about with each other.a really nice platonic best friend relationship...bottom line is that i know where you're coming from.cause since he moved i have NO friends..how could i ever MAKE such a friend again?? people that have NO friends alot of times have no friends because so many people are shallow. shallow in that they talk of their jobs,their kids,their wife,their girlfriends but never get deep!!! when you have a best friend that u spent alot of deep deep conversations with on a daily basis for years and then boom that person's gone..making friends doesn't come easy after that cuz you got used to having a strong deep platonic relationship which forms over time..if i could magically create a relationship wherein someone knows me inside and out that would be great.but that's not possible.so what do think of people that have no friends? i am one of those too at least for a while./ and we're pretty cool in my opinion

Perhaps like myself they have been let down by so many friends, they can no longer bother....

Some people just happen to be loners. It doesn't mean that they're sociopaths or evil and filled with hatred for others. It's just a preference for some I suppose. Although there are some people who just have a hard time making friends or being accepted by others. I've honestly never thought about this question but it's a good one.

I think that there are usually two reasons. I think that some people find it incredibly hard to just randomly talk to new people for fear of being seen as desperate for friends which is sometimes what they are but don't want to show it. The other is that some people are just petrified of social situations that they aren't accustomed to. I for one suffer from the second, things like just going to set-up a bank account (which I still haven't had the courage to do) can overwhelm people with fear and anxiety.Either way it is incredibly hard and before I lost all of my friends but I would have probably looked down on people with few or no friends but I now feel sympathetic towards them.

Lets be friends with em :)

We save plenty of money only buying meals for one.

I Think people that have no friends can be confident or sad or complacent. I am 23yrs old I have body dysmorthia -( when you dont like your appearance )- severe depression & have no friends whatsoever, and it hurts like hell but for some reason I strangley prefer having no friends- I am completely free to think what I want to think. Maybe hard to believe. I still live with my mum & have never had a boyfriend. I have never really been happy in my life. Been like this since I was 19 thats when my friends left me (only had 4-5 main friends from secondary school) went to college had boyfriends and made thier own friends after they left school. I find it easier to just stay indoors. I feeI safe at home free from the cruel cold society outside of my window. I have been out of work for 3yrs & very strangley enjoy not having to hang around with any snooty co-workers. I like to be with my own thoughts I dont like going out so I dont. It is simple for my relatives to say to me "Just go out" or "join a group" dont they know its near impossible to change someones personality we are who we are, I am a loner lets face it always have been always will be fullstop. I have anxiety & sometimes panic when talking to people I cant look them in the eye & I speak to people in a quiet-shy-low voice. I only go out to get shopping & pay bills. I sleep in all day or surf the web. So whats the point in having friends that are bitchy & think thier better than me. I just dont want any. I will not have ANYTHING in commom with them so I would rather not even try for stuck up biased, racist, stupid & phony friends. I would not put myself up for humiliation by "sucking up" to any "in crowds" out there just to be accepted that would be the real waste of time. & I am not a bad anti-social person honestly. I am nice. Its just that I am shy. Thats not so bad?

It sounds like you have friends back at home and are having a terrible time getting embedded in your new environment. If you're somewhere the weather's cold, that doesn't help. I find that people in New England, for example, are not as welcoming off the bat as people in the South or Mid-west. Customs. It's not about you . . . you obviously have the social skills to make friends . . . the environment makes it take longer. Any special interest groups you could join? Don't know where you are, so am not sure what to suggest. But it's not you.

Loneliness is sometimes a vicious cycle. Like the expression it takes money to make money, I think it sometimes takes family and friends to make family and friends. If you are starting from ground zero, with few if any family or friends, it can extremely difficult to develop a support network. When you meet new people & they find out you have no one, it changes the dynamic suddenly. Maybe they are afraid you will be too needy of a relationship with them; maybe they think there’s something wrong with you. Plus, the older you get, the more your peer group is caught up in their own family affairs, and the last thing most of them want is to take on the responsibility for your emotional well being.

I think if you are caught in this vicious cycle, the best way to break out of it is to connect with other people who need you as much as you need them. You can join clubs, volunteer, go to a religous institution, try an online service (there is one that matches people to find friends who want to be like extended family to each other, http://www.CreatingExtendedFamilies.com ). Screening out those who need you as much as you need them is hard and sometimes despressing work, but you need to keep reaching out, because life without friends is ever harder.

I have probably quite weird character, but I'm fully satisfied by it. I don't need a huge company or many friends, I am spending my free time mostly alone listening to music or doing something that I enjoy, people just come to me, but sometimes I don't need a company of others. More often I enjoy strangers company than a bit familiar people, by the way I have one or two, I might say, 'firends' to call 'whats for weekend' and thats all I need. People who know me a bit are judging me for this behavourand sometimes afraid of conversation with me (I only talk when I have something to say), but this doesnt bother me at all. Our society should respect any kind of personality, afterall there are a lot of personalities and orginality always interests others, so there will always be such questions as this. Why bother questioning such things, read some books or watch a movie about 'how to be a personality and deal with other ones'.

I once went through this, having no friends and it was a lonely exsistence. I had friends but became so depressed I could no longer even pick up the phone. HOlding a conversation just took too much energy. I hated myself. I think a lot of the time when people have no friends it is due to depression (they are pushing them away or avoiding social interaction) anxiety or fear of social situations due to extreme insecurity/shyness or fear of getting close to anyone or being hurt due to past trauma. In any case, I think it's sad and it really sucks because I"ve been there. But there are ways to overcome it.

There are also people that are "happy loners" and hey, that's cool. To each their own.

I cannot come up with one single friend that I have. I have family and that is it. I live in a small town and ever since school I have had few friends. My few friends have died over the years and they have not been replaced.

I think that if they are fine with having no friends then more power to them, let people do what they will and let no one be the judge. Well, that last comment has a few obvious exceptions.

A big fat so what? There can be many reasons why people don't have friends. I'm not going to think better or worse of them because of that....unless they're obviously a nasty, twisted piece of work that hates everybody. I've known one or two people like that. Most people are not like that.

I had one good friend, and a few people I hung out with in high school, then I left the city for university. Over time I lost touch with them, but made great friends at university - but dropped out after one semester, but kept in touch with them for a while. When I got back to the city I began to hang out with my old friends - but felt I had completely changed, while they sort of remained the same, so over time I lost touch with them too.

After I had lost touch with them, my mother committed suicide a a few months ago, and so I completely changed. I don't remember who I was a year ago - so many events had happened within the year (I had moved out of the house and left for university, had my first girlfriend, first breakup, first dropout, first job, first time in hospital for mental breakdown, lost my mother, made the best friend I ever had, but we can't see each-other because he has feelings for me). I feel stronger after all this, but completely morphed into something different, a slightly crazier (in my own mind), emotionless person (in the eyes of others). And so it will be a rocky road finding someone whom I could call a friend once again.

I wouldn't judge anyone who doesn't have a friend, and nobody else should either unless you know their life stories. Friends are hard to keep. Good friends are hard to make.

Very few people are even worth having as friends. Friends all to often will stab you in the back at the drop of a hat.
I had a lot of them once, but now just 1, an elderly woman who is now my best friend and the best I ever had.
I'm a 50 yr old man and I am her caregiver..the others in my past always were the kind of people who were only friends as long as there was something in it for them beyond friendship.

I'll start at the beginning...High school was difficult. I had a small gorup of aquaintances that I hung around with, but there was one lass who tried to control everybody. I hated it, and one day, when told by her to leave the room because she wanted it to her self (i know!) i refused. From then on, my high school career was down the drain. My previous "freinds" wouldn't associate with me for fear of being picked on, that girl turned a lot of people against me. I got on with it and kept cheerful, but obviously it built up and got worse. Having been beaten up a few times, my anger got really high and I got known as the weird one who flips at people. It was difficult not to, trust me! Anyhow, i finished school with no freinds and was ok with it as I had my family. I looked forward to college as a fresh start, and chose one where noone from my school was going to. Fresh start and all that. I tried to join clubs, I was on the college council for example, and really got involved. I had a few freinds but was constantly on edge about what people really tohught. I was paranoid. I thought that people were pretending to be my freinds and would turn against me. Sounds stupid, yes. But i spent 5 years being the one people hated. I couldn't help my feelings. I finsihed college and things had been a hell of a lot better. I then started University in september...and find myself with one close freind. She is now leaving the course. I have tried to stay open from the begininng in order to mix and socialise, but found myself turned away, so concentrated on my one freind. We are extrmely close and I feel i have made a freind for life, but noone else seems interested. And it isn't that I've closed myself off because I did the opposite. Myabe i appear deseprate for freinds, maybe there is something about my personality that people just do not like. But im relaxed, I lvoe having fun, chilling out, playing pool...normal things! I'm a nice girl! I think trust issues can be a source of many problems. I have to learn to make a fresh start with every situation and drop all my paranoia...but it really is so hard. And i'd love to say I'm happy having just one close freind and I have a fantastic family...but I'm just not. My twin borther is going to prison soon and I can feel my family breaking under the pressure of it all. What happens then? I can't rely on them for everything, they need me to be strong and look after them which, of course, I always will, but what happens when I need someone? I'm always there for other people, i ask them questions about themselves and Im genuinely interested...but they just seem to turn their back on me. What is it im doing worng? Someone please give me their suggestions

I think that would be me, depending on your definition of friends. There's a certain amount of danger inherent in being/having a friend. I've seen people calling someone friend when they are barely acquaintances.

My Hubby is my best friend, followed closely by other family members.

I keep very busy with family matters and my hobbies, and I am very happy with my life.

how sad.... :-(

Its lonely, its just like being alone on this planet and finally this person will talk to himself/herself.

It could be either of these:
A) Nobody likes them
B) They don't like nobody
C) They spend too much time in the Internet

To me that would be living in hell - after all 'friends' can be either blood relations or non-blood...and to have no support system at all would make life a very lonely and threatening place.

I am one of those people myself.I found the same thing in the dating world when it comes to pursueing women.You put your best foot forward but in the end if they don't wanna be your friend they just don't wanna.Some people are real jerks about it too and don't let you off the hook easy.I joined the fire department to make friends but it has worked more twards a one day a month social hour on drill nights.But they are friendly and on day one the chief walked up to me and my brother and invited us to have something to eat and welcomed us to there engine company.If anyone on here reading this would like to be chat buddies with me they can send me a message.

i Think that they are new to like the school or something and i feel sorry so what i would do is i go over to them and talk to them if i don't like them that mush i'll find someone who is close to the same personality and thats what i think

Sad.

It's just temporarily, once it's over they will have lots of friends in no time. :p

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it could only happen in an industrialized country where everybody moves away from the place where they were born, thus the "tribes" which would naturally exist, have been destroyed

they have no false friends

no man is an island - i think everyone has friends - whether you know it or not

BECAUSE THEY MIGHT HAVE LOW CONFIDENCE AND A VERY SMALL ASS MEAT

I am in this very same place, I do not think I am anitsocial, I am shy but quite normal. I am very social infact and can be the life if the party and everyones friend even at time. I just think its that I have had very bad experiences with so call best friends. I have been betrayed and used by people I thought were my so called friends. Guess maybe its that I am afraid of letting anyone into my life that can hurt me as much as these people have. I had one friend who was loosing everything, I patented an idea and brought him in and let him run this business, (not that big of a deal really) We were both making 400,000 plus thousand a year each with this for 5 years when he got greedy and basically stole my company away from me. This yahoo got himself a real good attorney and had it all figured out how he could do it to. How can this much money not be enough?? Well maybe the high maintenace stripper wife might have had something to do with it. I swear he married a stripper. Thing is product has ran it course and he has no idea how to upgrade and keep it viable. (but guess who does, LOL) I have another friend that had me finace a boat he bought that was going to sell for all this money and begged me to finace it for him, guess what 17 months and he still has not made a 740. a month payment. Oh and guess what the boat is gone, tells me he will let me know when he sells it and makes everything good.
My personal though is even though its lonely with out any friends I am better off. I believe people and want to help everyone so they are happy to but I am learning.

Some people are extremely shy and find it difficult, if not impossible, to reach out to others. I think everyone is capable of having friends if that is his/her goal. There are some people though who go through life very negative and angry/bitter and no one wants to be around them. except, I suppose, others who may be just like them. Friend is my favorite word so I would pity anyone who doesn't have a friend. Happy Wednesday! :)

I see people with no friends as loners with a lack of social skills, For me making friends is easy. I myself live in New England and as one of the comments already said, we are harder to be friends with for some reason. I would say this is fairly true but only during the winter. Waking up in the morning or the afrernoon for that sake and having to go to classes in the freezing cold is never very fun. Im guessing your in a new enviroment like a college which is where i have my experience from. All I can say is join a club or a team with people with the same interests to start, its very simple making friends there and when you start to hang out with them youll meat their friends and your quickly be brought into a group of friends that you will have for a long time, Note i am a freshman and this is how i started out. It started out in small groups of just a few friends in the same club, and then when we would hang out and the group just expanded. If not just approach people in public, (note my advice is very college based, but can easily be interpreted for help getting friends out of college) For example, so far my best friend from college i met studying at the library. We were just studying next to each other and next thing you know we got into a conversation and it went from there. Just be in social places and youll make friends easily enough

I can honstly say that I have met few people in this part of the country who share my interests or that I would want to spend a lot of time with. Luckily I have a husband who inspires me and a few colleagues I enjoy conversing with. However, I have found the female company round here who can only discuss their children and familes to be dull, dull, dull.