My bf loves Anal sex. It hurts me even if he uses lube. any adice on how to make anal more ejoyable for us both?? or at least bearable for me?

Put on a strap-on and tell him it's his turn.

Are you sure you use enough lube? There's never enough.

I would suggest practicing by wearing butt plugs, and also masturbating while he penetrates you.

You really need to put your foot down if it is hurting you. Sure, he might be a little pissed off at first, but he will get over it. Anal sex is very dangerous, and maybe your hole is just too tight to have his penis in there... I personally found guys with a bigger penis cant give me anal, as i have the same problem. It can actually make you really sick, or tear your asshole open. If your gonna continue doing it, make sure he is very, very gentle.

Get a strap on and do him instead, that way he gets his anal, and you get some relief. A couple of times doing it that way and the novelty will lose its allure, you can bet on that.

If it hurts then DON'T DO IT, if he loves you he'll understand, obviously it's not enjoyable for you, I hate it when women do stuff just to please their man even if it means pain for them.

If it doesn't interest you and you con't get any enjoyment out it then don't do it.
However if you want to try, lots of preparation is necessary.
Perhaps have some regular sex to start, then have him apply lube to your anus and gently rub around it while his licks your pussy. As you relax he will feel it and can slip a finger in a bit as he continues to rub you ass with a circular motion. Once he can slip a finger in easily, have him place the head of his cock against your anus and apply gently pressure. He should stroke her clit at the same time. As she relaxes his cock will slip in. Once it is in, let her contol any motion. Let her do the moving at first and she will tell him when to start thrusting and how hard.

yeah. first off BREATHE and dont tense up. It shouldn't hurt if done right. Make sure you are being stimulated at the same time. If you're not then it's bound to hurt really badly. Get a vibrator or use your hands. I hope he goes slow...and remember...breathe

I am a pro after a whole two times....lol....2008 is going to be a good year

Tell him it hurts!!! Im shure he wants to please you not hurt you.

Try warming up with a smaller size dildo - you can actually have some fun together if you ask him to watch and help you.

I would also try to get him into the idea of a strapon - ever since I have had my wife using my ass with a dildo or strapon, I understand what is needed to get her hot for anal much better - take your time, lots of lube and communication in between the 2 of you. Be vocal - he will love it as well

Try using larger utensils beforehand to loosen it up a little. Go slow and eventually something not quite as big won't hurt as much, and may feel good.

You know what... I like Anal but damn not everyday. It does get sore after going on so long. But the more you do it, the more it loosens up and doenst hurt so much.

Try masturbating you asshole yourself. Get yourself used to it.

Im sure you will recieve much advice on this.. but keep in mind that the anus is NOT a sexual oraface, meaning it's not meant for sexual practice. If you can't get comfortable with it.. you should probably stop before you get injured.
I know of 2 friends that have been hospitalized for that very thing. I'll spare the details but I'm sure you can imagine what happened.

Stimulate your clit to have pleasure over ride pain or just tell him to stop I personally think anal sex is disgusting a butthole is no place for a dick honey!

he is not prepping you enough..start slow.finger then fingers.keep applying lube..you will stretch mile before you tear an inch...also learn to relax...you could rehearse a little yourself.get used to the sensation....it would help if you also applied the same technique to him..it helps to concentrate the mind a lot and stops him being so rough!....

Once you let yourself go it is fun and the pleasure it gives him is immense and it is that more than anything is the reason so many women do it.

Have fun!

I had never tried it until my present boyfriend. I felt it was an exit not an entry. It is a little uncomfortable but not painful and I just let my mind go someplace else. I can do without it but because I love him I do it. he rarely asks for it though. it also makes him feel good because he has been somewhere no one else has. but it is not for everyone.

try anal eaze from adam & eve. it kinda numbs it so it will make entry bearable for you. just take it slow. if it still hurts then that's probably not for you. just go to adam & eve and buy him a real feel asshole and let him play by his self.

I am always amazed that we the most intelligent species on the planet would cause our selves pain. I like doing it anal but my SO is to tight so I compromise and just finger her 1,2,3 and that helps her loosen up with out the pain. She normally has 3-4 orgasms before she is loose enough for me to go in. There is no pain and I get what I want

Invite a gf that likes anal sex over and have a fun filled night! If it hurts, don't do it!

Ok, answer 10000000009.
I wonder if you two are properly stretching first. Porn glorifies anal as this simple process of pull the penis out of the puss, and jam it into the cornhole. NOT A GOOD IDEA! You have to soften and stretch the anus prior to inserting his rod. Use lots and lots and lots of lube. Start by inserting a finger, moving it around to open yourself up a little. Insert another finger, and repeat. Do this until your hole is loose enough you can take your fingers out, count to ten, and push them back in with no discomfort. You can go a step farther with butt plugs and anal toys of some sort, but you don't have to. Lube his member up, and SLOWLY ease it in, bit by bit until you're absolutely sure it doesn't hurt. This should help. If after all of this it still hurts, STOP!!! with all of that preparation, if your body is not ok with taking it in the butt, than you probably shouldn't

I know anal is not enjoyable from certain positions. There are some positions that you can do that can make it more comfortable for you. Also, the more you tighten your butt muscles, the more painful it will be for you.

Lastly, maybe your boyfriend should lighten up on the butt fucking. It's NOT something that's meant for our bodies, and it's painful for a reason AND, just because you're a woman, doesn't mean THAT hole should be used as a sexual object. Tell him that it would really turn you on if he let you stick a dildo up his butt, and see if he's so willing to let his butt hole be penetrated. I personally use to love anal sex with my wife, but every time after I did it, I would feel bad, because I didn't feel like it was fair to her, because it hurt her too, and it's not natural. I have since stopped, because I love her, and respect her enough to not do something like that to her.

Good luck.

You just have to take it slow. The Anus is a muscle like like your arm is. It can contract, and expand. Unlike flexing your arm however the anus needs time to expand. You have to start off slow, and shallow. After a while the anus will expand, (similer to how the vagina does), to accept the man organ. Keep in mind that the anus is just like anyother muscle, so unlike the vigina, it will shrink back to its origanal size after anal intercourse.

relax your muscles, make him go very slow.when doing that in the doggy style position you kinda have control tell him just put it in then you do the moving

Use a vibrator in your pussy at the same time your boyfriend is stuffing your butthole.

Well it kinda depends on a few things. The first bein are you warmed up, like saying has he given you oral or have you gotten to orgasm vaginaly, in others words are you jumping right into the backdoor deed? The other is are you creating a distraction while his is entering your butt? The best way for anal not to hurt is as you have said, use plenty of good lube, the next is make sure you have cun a few times it realaxes the sphincter muscles and the vaginal muscles, if this makes it easier for you, but still not quite what you want as far as pain level, try a clit vibe or just rubbing your clit while he is in the back. The vibe after you have orgasmed is a great way to keep everything down there relaxed. The last and best way to help is to stretch the spinchter muscles while you are having vaginal insertion, how you may ask. Get a butt plug for your size anus, start small and go from there. Find a good quality plug lube it up good as he is making you cum from either clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration try to slide the butt plug in, or this is something you can try on your own while masturbating. The biggest key to anal is you must be relaxed, and I dont think you are because you know it hurts and you are afraid.

If you really want to do it, you need to start out by using plenty of lube. There is no such thing as too mauch, and add more as you go. Have him start out with a finger, unitl that is comfortable, then another finger, and so on, until you are relaxed and comfortable enough to accept his penis. Sex toys of various size are also good to use to get you loosened up slowly. If nothing help, put your foot down and say no. Nothing sexual should just be endirred if it hurts you.

He isnt using enough lube, or you guys should try doing anal with out lube and use spit. its eaiser. thats how my girlfriend and I enjoy it the most

I guess your anus might be a little tight which is normal because you have not enjoyed anal sex before. The best for you to do it at least in the first 2-3 times is for you to allow him to insert his penis with lots of lub in your ass in the doggie position. After he inserts his penis he should keep it still inside you and you should then lay on your stomach with him laying on top of you and his penis inside you. Close your legs together and squeeze them with his cock inside you but with no movement. To get pleasure he should message your clitrus in this position until you cum. This will first develop your anal sensation and second widen your anus so you can enjoy future anal plays. good luck

if he really loved you, he would understand and gladly stop the whole ruitine! if he only wants anal, with you in doubt, is he really worth it?

just breathe and get him to make you excited first!!!!

If it hurts, don't do it.

try adam and eves Anal ease. Thats the only stuff I use and try haven a few drinks so your more relaxed.

If it hurts try loosening up and not being tense and scared/worried. Then let him work you looser with whatever you want if need be. Then if you can after that great, otherwise think about whether it's really worth it.

Go slowly and use plenty of lube. Try fingers first to relax muscle. Never be in a hurry.

anytime any kind of sex hurts it's not being done right.

Have him use a finger til you're relaxed and it's feeling real good, then press to each side slowly to stretch it out some, then two fingers and spread them. Won't take long to get you into the fun part and feeling good. That's the time to insert the real thing taking it slow with enough slick 'em to make it slip in nicely. IF he doesn't have enough patience to do it this way. He sure as hell don't need you as a "patient". It's supposed to feel good and be fun.

Enjoy yourselves,

If you go online to Eden Fantasies or a like site you can find anal plugs of varying sizes (you should start small and work up to his size) and there are numbing lubricants that will help prepare you and therefore make it a more enjoyable experience. You could make a game out of it. Due to the shape of these butt plugs you could wear it around all day while at work or home and no one will see it (it's shaped to not fall out). This will help you relax and help build anticipation of the event due to the constant stimulation and the reminder of having it in. For more info there are books at most major book stores in the adult or sexual health section and at the Eden Fantasy website. And also, no matter what preparation you do, go slow, use lots of lube and remember if it hurts to much stop and try again later. It will feel good when you have work up to it and not forced your way though. You should both get pleasure out of it not just him. Only do this if you are both interested and you both need to be patient. Good luck and I hope this helps.

Anytime sex hurts you're not doing it right.

One of the ways that seems to work best for me when I'm about to plug a woman's butt. Is have her lay belly down, butt up and finger both holes at once with a gloved hand and plenty of lube until she's begging for it. Then two fingers go in and gradually spread them til she's stretched further than it needs to be. Seems like this relaxes them well enough. Main thing is don't get in any rush. Make sure you go poo first! A good enema with warm water will clean you out and relax your muscles too. That should keep you from having any accidents too.

That's some pleasurable sex IF it's done right. Good luck and don't give up. IF he won't work at it to make it better, you need to replace him with a guy that will.

Use that dildo on his ass too. Show him what it's like and he'll pay more attention to how he treats yours. OR else you'll turn him into one of those guys that prefers it to female sex.

Yep: Read my blog for more info (too much to write here): http://mflife.wordpress.com/2006/10/12/anal-sex-101/

Get your b/f to use a Anal plug on your rear with lots of lub, slowly work the plug into the anus stopping at each inch it slowly opens up the anal passage, once the whole plug is in help she to retain in inside her by squeeze her anal muscles to draw the plug in and out of her anal passage and retain it there, once this is achieved you should be able to make love to her via her anus.

that shit hurts,why not put a dildo in his ass to let him see that this is not a joke or just tell him no and tell him you'll sit on his dick and peddle his balls

Theres something for a gay man to answer, ha ha. I am gay, Try being very slow about it, the faster you do it, the more unbareable it can/will be. If you wanted to try it, you can get a product (a gel sort of cream)at the chemist that acts as a sort of numbing lotion. If it's your first time it may hurt slightly, (I know, been there myself) but the it happens, the less it'll hurt. I hope this helps in some sort of way, Good luck.

Try some {Anal-eze), not sure of spelling, my friend says it numbed his wife & she let him do it.

use lots of lub and slowly build up to his size by using toys and/or fingers and make sure to relax. if you want, you can try anal eze which is suppose to numb your asshole a little to make it easier but some people dont recommend it cause you could get hurt without feeling it

Ok, I used to have issues having anal sex with my husband. I learned on my own that clitoral stimulation at the same time, turns discomfort into pleasure.
So I suggest lots of lubrication, clitoral stimulation, and see if you can get him to gently poke around and stretch a little bit with his fingers. I used to use a butt plug to help me accommodate my guy more easily, but since he started using his fingers to massage and loosen the muscles, sex has been pure heaven.

You be surprised he might let you use a dildo on him so he can see what you feel and do a check on line to see where his prostrate located to you can hit when you penitrate he might like it.
But depending how open you two are on nights he plans to use your back door a gental enema to start it off water should be between 98 deg to 100 deg remember your core is 98 deg with a normal enema bag 3 tps of backing soda will make less crampy then as he use a finger to lube you up make sure there some stimulation of your clit and maybe some finger penitration of your pussy if you like the and lube for anal there never to much you must remember that hole needs training it been a out put for most your life and now means to be retrained do not tense up just try to relax during penitration. I would guess you do it doggie style make sure you pleasure your self as he uses your anal hole

ok, i'm sure you've had a pap smear at least once in your life time. That doctor put it finger in your rectum but before he did he said "bare down and take a deep breath"
Well the deep breath is coming, like it or not, it's an automated response to being penetrated.
The "bare down" part is right on the money and here's why.
If you are pushing your anus outward, you can't tense those muscles up at the same time. Which means that finger is going to slip right in there with no problem.
Same concept with penis, only on a larger scale.
Do the "one finger" method til that is comfortable, then two fingers. By that time you should be able to take his penis without a lot of pain.
LUBE LUBE LUBE LUBE
and don't use shampoo, i know from experience that it burns like fire.
Here's a little fact about cum enema's:
Cum is made up of pure protein and anything that enters the lower bowels is immediately and directly absorbed into the blood stream.
I call it a "Protein Shot". So in a way, it's kinda good for you if you're trying to loose weight, cuz protein eats fat. And you're talking about taking concentrated protein up the ass where it's going straight to your system.

anyway, have fun, i personaly don't like sitting on the toilet for 30mins, waiting for whats left of it come back out. It's just nasty to me and my man is just as happy shotting it ON my ass rather than in it.

You ... well HE needs to take it slower, spend more time getting your turned on, relaxed and playing with you to get you ready.

The best lube i have found - "Olive oil", if you have never had anal sex then get the Extra-virgin kind... LOL It is all natural, will not dry out, non-toxic, will not hurt condoms. and when you are done, you can have a salad.... jk

Plus you need to try an relax yourself, if you have hang ups about it or are reluctant then it just makes it harder.

There are several things you can try to make anal more comfortable. Use a lot of lubritacnt; I recommend a water-based gel like Astroglide.

Before inserting his penis, however, your partner should spend a long -- repeat LONG --time preparing you you for anal penetration. This includes gentle foreplay that will relax you and put you at ease with what is about to happen. He should gradually manipulate your opening with a lubricated finger -- then try it with two fingers, and finally three. In the alternative, he can employ a vibrator or dildo.

Your choice of position is extremely important. I recommend you -- the woman -- get on top and lower your liberally lubed bottom onto his well-oiled member. In this position you'll have complete control over the rate and depth of penetration and the speed of thrusting. After several minutes, if all is going well, get into the "doggy style" position and let him take you from behind. If you're up for experimentation, lie on your back, raise tour knees toward your head and let him finish off in this position.

The number one rule, however, is luse a good quality lube and plenty of it. Don't be afraid to reapply it when you change positions of if things get a a bit dry. Above all, tell him to be GENTLE and to follow your lead.

I have had a few anal partners,some painful some pleasurable. I tend to find guys with smaller penis' hurt less (obviously) so maybe try having him enter you when he is not fully hard, this may losen you up and ease you in.
If this isnt something you find easy because your bf is well endowed such as mine try different lubes and positions...
i personally find that Doggy style gives me really bad stomach ache - not fun! where as if im on top im in control i decide the speed the depth so i can get comfortable! i can even orgasm from this position -Bonus! another easier position is missionary i feel i can relax more and this way you can gentle ease your mans hips in and again have some control.
just another tip - towel down! especially if your not using a condom, it can get messy if you've not prepared before and hey its not a problem providing you can both be mature about it and clean up after yourselves!! a good lube to use is I.d Glide. and lots of it! dont be afraid to experiment and dont be afraid to say when you've had enough! also try playing with your clit whilst he's going in it may take your mind off of the invasion and you might even enjoy it! hope this helped - happy bumming! ;) xx

Take it slow, breath and relax...also find a gel with a bit of numbing agent and try that...someone once told me that baby oral gel works to help that.Oh yea and if you havent tried changing postions try that too...I find that its alot easier for me if we start in a spooning position then change to me on my knees rather than starting on my knees which doesnt allow me to relax properly.