My 15 y/o son just got busted for possession of pot & a pipe. Should I let him go to juvy? I don't know what else to do & it's hard to discipline a kid that is bigger than me. Any suggestions?

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• *highfive*

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  by Lady Alathia of Vulcan on March 12th, 2008

• Good answer.

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  by deltabtry on March 12th, 2008

• I have tried everything but the police in FL treat these situations like a joke. They won't help until the kid gets into trouble & then they want to blame the parents. I am at my wits end w/ this kid. I had to send to to Ohio to get him away from all the idiots he hangs out w/ & it seems like it's getting worse. He has no repsect for authority. I agree w/ you 100% but I would literaly have to have him tied to my hip for me to make sure that he is not screwing up.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• The police are NOT your kid's parents.
  And, I live in Florida too. I know what the cops are like here - either redneck kids or retired NYPD cops. Still... it's only their job to arrest the kid if he does something against the law and they catch him or he is reported.
  It's YOUR job to be his parent. It's YOUR job to make, set, and ENFORCE the rules.
  I know you don't want your precious baby going to jail... but if he continues to break the law, that's where he's going. Sometimes, a kid NEEDS to spend some time in a place where he's got nothing better to do than think about life and why he's screwing it up. Maybe if it happens now, he won't be in Big Boy jail for LONGER, where it really WILL screw his life up for good.

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  by Lady Alathia of Vulcan on March 13th, 2008

• I know. I had to send him to Ohio (which I had to sign over custody for him to go to school there) & that's where he got arrested. If I jump in the shower for 15 mintues & he's on restriction, by the time I get out, he's out the door. I feel like a Springer episode waiting to happen. I was just hoping the cops up there could just talk to him & maybe scare him. He's bigger than I am so if he tries to hit me (who knows anymore w/ him) I would get seriously hurt. He was a good kid until he turned 13 or so. I just don't know what went wrong. I am a good mom & I don't know what else I can do.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• And where exactly is his father, or an equivalent male role model?

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  by The Reverend Soleil on March 13th, 2008

• His father took him for about 8 months & it just got worse over there because he felt bad for not being there most of his life, so he basically let him do whatever he wanted. He will not listen to my hubby (again the lack of respect) & gets mad when he has the "nerve" to expect respect in his home. Then he gets mad because I stand behind my hubby. He may yell a lot but his heart is in the right place. He tells me that I am choosing my hubby over him. I raised him by myself for most of his life & he was a good kid until he turned 13. Tha's when the sh*t hit the fan.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• That's was my point. They feel like they have "street cred" when they act like a thug. I just don't know what to do anymore. I had to sign over custody to my bro-in-law in the hopes that he can get away from all the bad kids around my home, but he just found some new ones & it's getting worse. I am pulling my hair out & cannot direct my attention to my 4 y/o daughter who needs me cuz of the stress he is causing my marriage & life. I feel so helpless.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• Well I'm just going by your sons point of view. I was in his shoes when I was 15. My parents did send me to juvy I loved it and when I got back I was a hero. When I was 16 I was placed in foster care with a woman that absolutly SAVED my life. She WORKED off my bad behavior. I can't count the trees I've mulched or how many coats of stain I put on the deck. I HATED it. But you know 15 years later I know it was her and her lack of bending under any situation that pulled me though.

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  by brandy on March 12th, 2008

• You have to just basically punish him with something he can't brag about and REFUSE to give up.

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  by brandy on March 12th, 2008

• Thanks. Now the question is what can I do that will actually affect him. He cares about NOTHING.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

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• I don;t have the $ to get him out. My bro-in-law just took him to the hospital for a psych evaluation because he was talking about killing his GF & then himself. I think that he needs to got o juvy cuz then he'll see what his future holds in store but I am @ my wits end w/ him acting like a punk.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• On the contrary. If he is severely depressed, as it sounds he may be, the last thing he needs is to spend time in juvy!
  Get him some psychiatric help....fast.

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  by the naked realtor on March 12th, 2008

• I am. At the evaluation, the dr. said that he cannot commit him because he told her that he didn't say that he wanted to kill himself. He is a professional scam artist.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

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• That's what everyone is saying but it's hard. That's my baby & I hate seing him go thru this but I just want what is best & if it means juvy then I have to. It is breaking my heart.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• my father is a heroin addict. it started with stupid stuff like pot, and drinking. He has a history of depression. His parents failed him by letting him figure things out the hard way. they gave up on him. Dont let him go to juvy. He will only learn worste habbits there. He will meat friends that will lead him to a horrible life...all you can do is love him unconditionaly. Look to god to help him, i know i do. It may not have cured my dad but i think it saved his life a few times. Have some faith and just love him. GOd works in mysterious ways. please give him a chance before you let your son go

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  by kassondra on November 19th, 2008

• I am also a recovering heroin addict...12 yrs clean. I have tried everything from talking to actually grabbing him & shaking the crap out of him. If anyone in his life can tell him about hell, it's me. What do I do when he doesn't want to listen to the only person who can show him the way out?

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  by snakelover on November 21st, 2008

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• LOL. That's what my brother said. He needs to get a black eye & a missing tooth before he wakes up & realizes that he is not a bad ass w/ little man syndrome.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• yeah well i have never done drugs for that fact that my dad would physicaly discipline me

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  by Hubbell on March 20th, 2008

• His dad was never in the picture until just recently. Now he wants to be an active participant. TOO LATE!!! Where was he when he needed a man to take him fishing & show him how to be a man?? Now my son is almost 6' & he is too big to spank, but I do know kids that I can have whoop his ass for me. :)

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  by snakelover on March 20th, 2008

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• I did. He was worse here in FL w. me so I sent him to live w. my bro-in-law in Ohio. He is the problem, not his surroundings. He had it made here in FL. He is just miserable & I feel so helpless cuz he won't listen to me.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• Children are products of their surroundings. Was it the school?

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  by Halskiisaklink on March 12th, 2008

• YES YES YES!! Also his GF & her sorry excuse for a mother. The mom would pick him up w/o my knowledge or consent while he lied to me about where he was. He spelt over numerous times. That's when he got his GF pregnant when they were 14. I am fighting a losing battle when I can't even trust another parent. I can't get any help from the police to come over & maybe talk to him. He was not like this as a child. This all started when he was about 12 y/o.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• Why do you think he feels that he needs to lie to you? Do you yell at him much? Hit him at all?

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  by Halskiisaklink on March 12th, 2008

• The only time I laid a hand on him (besides the spankings as a child) was when he lied to me & I pushed him against the freezer until he told me the truth. He is a manipulator & knows exactly what to say to adults to get them to feel sorry for him & give into him.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• Where did he get that from?

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  by Halskiisaklink on March 13th, 2008

• His GF & her mom. They lied to me multiple times & has learned the ropes from her. Before he met her, he would lie but always felt bad afterwards & fessed up. Now it's like he has no conscience at all.

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  by snakelover on March 14th, 2008

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• He is talking about suicide & he has a BAD problem w/ authority. He thinks that since he is bigger than most kids his age, he can do whatever he wants. I took a shower once for 15 minutes & by the time I got out, he ran away. I don't know what to do anymore.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• I think you need professional help here. Not necessarily for him right away, but someone you can ask what you CAN do for him, what your options actually are, and how to proceed. I can't imagine juvy will solve the problems he has or improve his situation.

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  by PokkiTokki on March 12th, 2008

• I have tried EVERYTHING! The sheriff's dept. here in FL treat the situation as a joke & it is very frustrating. How can I help my son when the police won't even help me out. I would be the 1st one under the microscope when things get really bad, with no help from them. Civil servants my ass.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• How should they help anyway? What you need is someone trained for and experienced with difficult youths. Someone who can advise you and help you. No authority can put your kid right with the snap of a finger. You need to learn how to do it yourself, but with guidance and help.

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  by PokkiTokki on March 12th, 2008

• I agree. I just thought that the police would have a talk w/ him to make him see the light, but they put no effort into it. I am driving myself CRAZY trying to get him on the right path, but to no avail. I know how to raise kids, but he thinks that he is 30 & can do what he wants.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• he just got into the picture after 15 yrs. Now he thinks that he can "save him". what a joke! where was he for the last 13 yrs??? And of course, he's turning my son against me by tyring ot be his friend rather than his father.

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  by snakelover on May 6th, 2008

• Jeeze. I'm so sorry, hon. : ((

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  by CaptainHarley adores his life penguin on May 7th, 2008

• That's Ok. I believe in Karma.

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  by snakelover on May 7th, 2008

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• Well he just got caught selling percocets in school & is now in juvy until 4-30-08. When he comes out, he will be on 6 months house arrest & if he screws up, then he'll be in jail until he's 21. They are not playing games w/ him & neither am I. He thinks that he can do whatever he wants w/o consequence. It's out of my hands now. I just have to support him but at the same time be strict about what is acceptable.

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  by snakelover on April 21st, 2008

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• He hasn't laid a hand on me...yet but I know that if I try to put my hand on him, he would return the slap. He thinks that he can do what he wants, when he wants, w/ no consequences.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• Then you have to make him respect you by earning it. he probably knows you are afraid of him. So what will you do to earn his respect?

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  by Freddy Says remove all moderation points on March 13th, 2008

• He knows I am not scared of him. He just has respect for any authority figure. NONE. I have shown him respect when he deserved it, but I have also laid down the law when it was necessary. He knows I respect him. It's like he doesn't care that he is disappointing me. I would have died just knowing that my parents were disappointed in me. Kids these days play by a whole new set of rules. I am at my wits end.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• That's my outlook but I cannot let him do this. I am not overbearing at all. I really don't mind that he smokes weed. Well, I do but it's not that bad. Both his dad & I are recovering addicts & I am scared to death that it will lead to other drugs cuz he is so miserable. I feel so helpless.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• Sorry if I posted the same comment twice. The comment's a bit long so it won't come through for a while.

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  by Canoodle on March 12th, 2008

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• BOO to the troll. My answer was an honest one and would teach this 15 year old to take responsibility for his poor choices. Shame on whoever gave me the downrate. Whatever - find something better to do with your time.

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  by Teasdale on March 12th, 2008

• I really feel like he should get locked up to see what the future holds in store for him. I am just scared that he will think that he is more of a bad ass while in there w. the other delinquents.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• I understand that, but maybe the more important lesson is taking responsibility for his actions. If breaking the law means jail time, then so be it. I know his reaction could go either way, but I'm sure you don't want him to think he can continue to make poor choices with no consequences. ??

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  by Teasdale on March 13th, 2008

• He already does that. When he gets in trouble for acting up, he pulls the "I'm going to kill myself" line. His bio father is VERY mentally unstable & just don't want him to do something stupid to "get back @ me". We took him for a psych eval but he told the dr. that he doesn't want to hurt himself, so they would not commit him for a few days. He is a master @ manipulation.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• Note: I can't get my comment to post, so I'm listing it as a separate answer...

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  by Teasdale on March 13th, 2008

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• HIs dad tells him that his behavior is NOT his fault because he's mentally ill, which isn't true. My son is VERY intelligent & his dad doesn't even realize that he is getting played by a 15 y/o. He could care less about his dad. He knows that he can't BS me anymore but his dad is a sucker & feels bad for him. He told me that he needs a friend more than a father. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I told his dad that i dont care if my son likes me. I am MOM 1st. my job is to make sure he is not a menace 2 society. Could you please e-mail me? It's on my profile. I would like 2 talk 2 u more cuz I really value ur opinion.

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  by snakelover on August 11th, 2008

• I got in your profile and i clicked where it said website> Is that your email? cuz if it is it isnt showing me, i would be glad to talk to you thru email tho. mine is at sadiepotatie@hotmail.com. I will wait and see until you get this to comment further just in case you want me to email ya the comment

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  by sadiepotatie in a smitten COAT on August 11th, 2008

• Well, i will go ahead and comment for the time being b/c im going to have to get some sleep. His father should not tell him that period, esp. if it's not true. That is rediculous,its like he just handed him a get out of jail free card saying "oh you are mentally ill you can do whatever and i won't blame you, and that promotes more bad behavior in my opinion. Too, it could give him a complex, i know it would me. He's going to get even more out of control now that he has someone else who's life he can take over. And he needs a father before a friend, sounds to me like maybe dad has the mentally ill gene? That was rediculous of him to say. You seem to be doing all thats in your power not to let him menace society. Again, tough love. (I still can't get it to show me your email. but mine is above.)

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  by sadiepotatie in a smitten COAT on August 11th, 2008

• oooo i so know how those annoying in laws are, i just read some more below. F- the in laws. I like pissing them off tooo!

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  by sadiepotatie in a smitten COAT on August 11th, 2008

• LMAO. I look forward to when the in-laws call so I can tell them to piss off. The grandma even threatened me w/ a lawyer because I wouldn't let them see him about 8 yrs ago. I am on a mission to get my son on track, not to powder his bottom & tell him "it's OK...it's not ur fault." BULLSHIT> I just e-mailed you so you can get back w/ me @ your convenience. You are 100% right about the cop-out. It's telling him that he can do whatever he wants & I am the a-hole for being strict.

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  by snakelover on August 12th, 2008

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• He had to got o juvy cuz he got caught w/ percocets in school. He's out now w/ 1 month house arrest & 6 months probation. It's out of my hands now.

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  by snakelover on May 6th, 2008

• Well it is what it is. Remember, at least with tough love you can show him your clear cut boundaries, and he can accept them, or not. It's better than being soft and letting him run all over you because you didn't draw a line in the sand.
  
  Good luck.

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  by Tex on May 6th, 2008

• Thanks. I had a MAJOR blowout w/ his paternal grandma because she STILL babys him. She kept on saying how happy she is that he was out. Not once did she try to talk to him like a young man or tell him what he did wrong or address the issue PERIOD. I hate her. But of course I am the bad guy for not wanting her to talk to him. Her method of love is screwing up my "tough love". That's why he won't listen when I correct him. He knows he can go boo-hooing to grandma & get the sympathy via maniuplation. Why is it so hard to do right by your kids when family has to but it & reverse any progress I am trying to make? My dad said it right...You don't need enemies when you have family.

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  by snakelover on May 6th, 2008

• Trust me, I know how meddling and annoying family can be. Is he adopted? If so, is his paternal grandma butting in? If so, tell her she can go screw her self if she defies you one more time. She's lucky to even have contact with him period. If not, she still needs to butt out, and realize that you are his mother, and everything you're doing is being undercut by her, and all of your efforts to steer him in the direction you wish him to go, are being undermined by her. Get across the point that your son needs guidance and leadership, instead of false praise, and marsh mellows. When he's 18, he can go live with her if he so chooses, and doesn't want to take your advice, but until then, you, and only you (unless there's a father involved) have the right to guide his life, and no one should undercut your decisions.

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  by Tex on May 6th, 2008

• I told her on the phone that she was a piece of shit & so is her daugter. She didn't like it too much, but then again, where the hell where they when I was 18 raising him ALONE?? My mom helped me more when she was dying of ling cancer. The days of kissing ass are over for me. If they don't like what I have to say (which is the truth) then too freaking bad. i am the primary caregiver & sacrificed a lot to raise him. I think it's funny how I piss them off. She has the nerve to think that she has "grandparent rights". There is no such thing. Her son knew when he got me pregnant cuz he wanted to "tie me down" but that didnt' happen.

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  by snakelover on May 7th, 2008

• Well good luck with everything. She might have "grandparent rights," to a certain extent, but that definitely does not include going against your word as his mom.

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  by Tex on May 7th, 2008

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• His side of the story is lies. I can't trust him.

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  by snakelover on May 6th, 2008

• well, then you should have to discipline him.

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  by DjFedda on May 6th, 2008

• I have tried everything. He doesn't cpmly & is making me CRAZY!!!! Talk about raging adolescent hormones. =]

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  by snakelover on May 6th, 2008

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• The pot is just another facet of his disrespect. When he was 14, he got his GF prgenant (also 14). He had the nerve to call the cops because my bro-inlaw pushed him into his room for having kids in his house stealing PS2 games. He told the cops that "he tried to choke me". I would have pushed him too if he got in my face. It's so hard to discipline kids when they think that all they have to do is call the cops & the parents will go to jail. They tie our hands & then say "It's your fault for the way your kid is acting out."

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  by snakelover on March 24th, 2008

• wow I am so sorry!! I think then at this point there isn't much you can do! I am afraid maybe sending him away might be best for not only you but your whole family! Take care and best of luck!!

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  by m4dm4nsgirl on March 24th, 2008

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• He won't accept the help & thinks that he can move in w/ whomevr he thinks will let him run amok. He knows how to manipulate ppl & Has become quite the master at it.

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  by snakelover on March 24th, 2008

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• I had him playing varsity football & he was still smoking while plaing. It's the "cool thing to do" I guess. He is depressed because I sent him to Ohio (I am in FL) to get him away from his GF & her piece of shit mom. He got her pregnant & they aborted the baby in December. That was the last straw. Plus while he was in football, he got 2 D's & 5 F's. He lied about his work in school. It's all about the instant gratification w/ him. He acts like he's a rapper but has little man syndrome. He has such a low self esteem. I have been thru the counseling but nothing is working.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• then maybe he needs some mother son time. surprise him one school morning and say today you are not going to school, you and i are going for a drive somewhere together. then just talk to him about when you were a kid and share some life experiences with him and ask him about his life and what bothers him and what his goals are, what makes him happy.. take him for breakfast or something. maybe he just needs some time with you to show that you love him and want the best for him.

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  by aleishadaniels on March 13th, 2008

• I used to do that all the time because I knew that he was not used to having to share me w/ my hubby & his new little sister. I had to send him to live in Ohio w/ my bro-in-law b/c he got his GF pregnant a few months ago. The baby was aborted on Dec 21st. Her mom was letting him drink & smoke weed over @ her house. She lives a mile from me so I thought that if he went to his dad's house (40 miles away) that would be safe. The mom went over to pick him up & he lied to his dad about where he was. he was over there & she allowed him to stay the night numerous times. I am so angry that I can't even raise my own son b/c another parent is a piece of sh*t.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• It's not just the pot tha is the problem. He got his GF pregnant & had to abort in December. They were both 14. The GF's mom is a piece of shit & allowed him to stay the night while he lied to me & his dad (he was living w/ him @ the time). The mom would actually pick my son up & have him over there w/o our consent. The cops wouldn't do anything. I took them to court for a restraining order, but it was denied b/c the mom had the kids lie in court to save her ass. I feel like I am fighting EVERYONE in order to get my son back to the way he was...respectable, caring, & honorable.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• That's EXACTLY what I have been telling him. I even went so far as to send him to Ohio w/ my bro-in-law (I had to sign over custody for him to go to school there). I HATE being 1000 miles away & having him go thru this. He will not respect my, my hubby, his real dad, or my rules. I am spending all my energy on him when I have a 4 y/o that needs me too. The mental illness is ABSOLUTELY there. His dad was never around to have any kind of personality influence on him, but he acts JUST LIKE HIM.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• You are definitely in a complicated and difficult situation. How is your son doing now that he's in Ohio with your brother-in-law? Any better in the new school or home environment?

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  by Teasdale on March 13th, 2008

• He's getting A's & B's but since he has been hanging w/ the wrong kids again, his grades are starting to slip, but not too bad. His lowest grade is a C. He got caught w. the weed in Ohio so my bro-in-law has to take him to court for the paraphernalia but the cop told him that she will give him 2 weeks to give up the name of the kid that sold him the weed. He won't do it. Idk what to do anymore & neither does my brother-in-law. If he wants to be stupid & take the rap for the kid about the pot, then I hope the judge will scare him enough or lock him up in juvy. I don't see anything else that will help him.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• He has serious depression probelems & I am scared that weed is just the beginning. It was for me & his biological dad. He cares about NOTHING! I could lock him in his room for the next 3 yrs & he wouldn't care. He would just find a way to sneak behind my back.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• That's what I plan on doing. I juist hope that he doesn't think of it as a status symbol by getting arrested. He is a punk w. "little man's syndrome". I just hurt so bad inside but this has to be done.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• Im sure this is really hard for you and Im sorry that u have to go through it but things will get better and who knows ur son could be the next president of the United states :D Im a dork I know :)

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  by connie on March 14th, 2008

• He wants to get into the NFL, but I don't think that they need another Ricky Williams on their hands. His grades & general attitude are screwing up his dreams but he's sop hard-headed to see it. I know that that's how teens are. I was the same way, but I learned from my mistakes. I just hope he does before he gets into BAD trouble with the law like me.

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  by snakelover on March 14th, 2008

• Im sorry I've been pretty boring with my life i guess I've never tested my parents or the rules i just follow em.. Yes im a sheep and sheeps rule.. lol like i said im a dork.. Did u ever think of getting him into like football work camps then. Get them to run him so when he gets home hes so tired he won't get in trouble and he won't mind cause hes doing something he loves

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  by connie on March 17th, 2008

• He was playing varsity football near our home, but after the season ended his report card came out...4 F's & 2 D's. This just in....he has been arrested 2 more times...for "unruly child". That makes 3 times in a 5 day period. They don't have kids go to court for being an unruly child here in Fl, but they should.

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  by snakelover on March 18th, 2008

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• I have tried EVERYTHING. I live in FL & the sheriff's office takes this as a joke because of all the calls that I have made. My last resort was to have him move to Ohio w/ my bro-in-law (& I had to sign over custody to him). If I am in the shower for 15 minutes, he runs out the door while on restriction (no joke). I am at my wits end. I feel like giving up but that's still me baby & I cannot cut him off like that.

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  by snakelover on March 12th, 2008

• Ask for a ankle bracelet, and counceling.

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  by brandy on March 12th, 2008

• And set up an appointment with a judge and bring your son along.

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  by brandy on March 12th, 2008

• The sheriff's office in my county treats these situations like a joke & the only was to get an ankle bracelet is if he is on house arrest. The cops here in FL suck.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• I would skip the sheriff's dept and go right over their head and ask to speak with a judge. Tell the judge that if somthing isn't done soon then you are afraid something even worse than a pipe is going to happen. Tell them that you want an intervention now before he's sentencing him to prison or you are burying him.

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  by brandy on March 13th, 2008

• Thanx Brandy. I told my bro-in-law (who now has custody of him in Ohio) to tell the judge & DA that he needs a good scare. He has no fear & no respect. I don't know what happened to him. He was such a good kid until he turned 13 or so. We did everything together because I raised him by myself. I hope the judge can do what I am unable to.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• Good luck

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  by brandy on March 13th, 2008

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• You're a good soul. I hope it works out for both of them.

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  by Vintage... on February 24th, 2009

• Thanks for your offer. He just got out of juvy & is living w/ his father in TN. I am in FL. I cannot & will not be negotiable about my rules. If he can't abide by them, then his father can FINALLY step in. He's 16 now but i have a 5 y/o daughter that needs my attention too or I'll be going thru this again in 9 yrs but girls can be SO much worse.

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  by snakelover on March 3rd, 2009

• Tennesee is easy... It must be all those Country musicians and their children....
  
  Seriously, here's the list\
  
  http://www.hopelinks.net/drug-rehab/teen/tennessee.html
  
  I never used drugs, But I was always grateful that my parents didn't abandon me when I was "Drinking Canada Dry"

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  by Skruff on March 3rd, 2009

• I am 13 yrs clean from heroin & crack. I was hoping that my mistakes would be some foundation for him NOT to use but he has to learn the hard way, as did I. I'll check it out. Thanks again.

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  by snakelover on March 4th, 2009

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• That's good advide but too little too late. He was caught trying to sell percocet in school to buy pot & now he's in jail for 3 months w/ 120 days suspended sentence. I will def do that when he comes home thou.

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  by snakelover on November 18th, 2008

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• Thank you soooo much. This was asked 5 months ago & things have gotten much worse. He's about to do 3 months in juvy after just getting off house arrest. There's nothing more I can do for him but be there like I have. At the very least he needs to know that I am not giving up on him, even tho he feels like he has.

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  by snakelover on October 13th, 2008

• You're absolutely right. No giving up. But loving doesnt mean taking abuse either. In the meantime, do something for YOURSELF, and get some good counseling and some uplifting support for you! Its doubly important for you to have that extra support to keep you going, so that you can be there when he needs someone to talk to.
  Blessings

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  by dksgirl on October 13th, 2008

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• His dad was never there until he started getting into trouble (13). Now he wants to come in & rescue him. A lot has happened since I 1st asked this. He is now on house arrest for havign pills in school. He has 2 go 2 his PO tomorrow because he got caught stealing. He may be facing 2-3 months in juvy. I knew that this would happen but I was a mom @ 18 & worked 2 jobs while going 2 school for paramedics. My mom raised him until she passed when he was 4. I had 2 drop out since "dad" wasn't paying 4 him. His dad disagrees w/ my tough love approach but I told him that this wouldn't be so bad if he had a dad to look up to growing up. I take blame too but I am the one dealing w. it.

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  by snakelover on August 11th, 2008

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• I looked into Military school in FL & they want $1500 to enroll (non-refundable) & between $2000 & $3500 (depending on the needs of the child) per MONTH! I asked this awhile ago. He got caught w/ pills in school & is now on house arrest. I had to send him to Ohio after he got his GF prgenant when they were 14. He was livign w. his dad @ the time. I told him when he gets off probation in 6 mos, he can come home. The cops in Ohio are more lenient than in FL. One wrong move here, & he would be back in jail in a heartbeat.

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  by snakelover on May 20th, 2008

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• Unfortunately, that is the least of my problems now. he just got caught buying Percocets in the school bathroom. He's in jubvy now & MIGHt get 6 months house arrest if he's lucky. He doesn't get out until the 30th. If he screws up house arrest, he could go to jail until he's 21. I spent the last 4 yrs talking to him. I know nothing & he knows evrything.

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  by snakelover on April 21st, 2008

• Why would he be lucky to get 6 months house arrest? What is he going to learn with 6 months house arrest? I learned absolutely nothing on house arrest. They still allowed me to go to school while on house arrest, and during my trips to school, I'd have someone buy me alcohol and boos, and get high all day, at home and at school. What he could use is a little time in juvy, and then afterwards some drug rehab. He needs a wake up call. He's now diving into things more dangerous than pot, and this could be the beginning of a long downward spiral for him if he doesn't get a wake up call. For me, I went into rehab thinking I didn't need any help, and wasn't addicted, but I was in a group with a 60 year old man who had been sent to prison 6 times in his life. His story woke me up, and I haven't smoked weed ever since. He'll be LUCKY to get that kind of a wake up call, cuz rehab doesn't often work, but it is worth a shot.

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  by Tex on May 6th, 2008

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• I smoke too but it is not ruining my life. He is only 14 & not ready for what the future holds in store for the "gateway drug". I started w/ weed & then turned to heavier drugs. If he was a little older & more responsible, I wouldn't mind, but he is still a kid & needs to find a better (& legal way!) to cope w/ life.

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  by snakelover on March 14th, 2008

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• I deleted it..sry I posted in the wrong place.

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  by deltabtry on March 12th, 2008

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• Thanks. I'll e-mail you later with the details.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

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• Thats just it...he doesn't care abotu consequences. He feels like his actions are justified because he is depressed all the time.

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  by snakelover on March 13th, 2008

• Well that's normal for him to be depressed since he's 15. He's just acting out.
  
  Try getting him to open up at first rather then beating him into submission.
  
  If all else fails, throw him in juvy for a bit. Or just bring him there to see what it's like.
  I knew one kid who went there to do that, and the guards told all the kids to make tons of ruckus and shout at him to scare him so he wouldn't want to go there. It worked, that's for sure.
  That'll give him a good wake up call.
  
  Regardless of what you decide to do, know that he'll eventually come out of his depression and start to straighten up. But you've gotta keep him off drugs in order for that to happen.
  
  I would know, it wasn't that long ago that I was 15 (I'm only 18).
  I was very depressed, and being in the full swing of puberty so my hormones were screwed up, all of my problems seemed very extreme and over exaggerated.
  
  Just keep him off the drugs and he'll do the rest as time goes along.

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  by OmarFW on March 13th, 2008

• He is depressed because I sent him to Ohio (i live in FL) & I had to get him away from his GF & her mom (who would condone his behavior, in fact they encouraged it). He got her pregnant when they were 14 & she had an abortion in December. I am at my wits end.

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  by snakelover on March 14th, 2008

• Well then I think you should give him a reality check and have him either visit or be sent to juvy for a while.
  
  And above all, you need to make sure he knows that you love him and that you're doing this because you care about him, no matter how much he doesn't believe it.
  
  He is going through one of the harder times in his lives and its up to you to get him through it in one piece because right now he doesn't have the decision making skills or the right mind to handle whatever comes his way right now.
  
  Best of wishes to you and here's to hoping everything turns out ok for you and your son.

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  by OmarFW on March 14th, 2008

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