You pray to God and ask Him to give you the inner strength that you need, in order, to forgive them and then, you forget about it! I hope this helps to answer your question!

Sooner or later, everyone you know will disappoint you in some way. They'll say something or fail to say something that will hurt you. And they'll do something or fail to do something that will anger you. It's inevitable. Unfortunately, you make things worse when you stew over someone's words and deeds. When you dwell on a rude remark or an insensitive action made by another person, you're headed for deeper problems. In fact, the more you dwell on these things, the more bitter you'll get. You'll find your joy, peace and happiness slipping away. And you'll find your productivity slowing down as you spend more and more time thinking about the slight or telling others about it. Eventually, if you don't stop doing it, you'll even get sick. So what should you do the next time someone betrays you? TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR FEELINGS. Even though the other person may be at fault, even though the other person wronged you, you are still responsible for your own feelings. In other words, other people do not "cause" your feelings. You choose them. For example, two different people could be told that their suggestions made at the staff meeting were "stupid and idiotic." One person may "choose" to feel so hurt that he never speaks up at any other meeting again. The other person may "choose" to feel sorry for the critic, sorry that the critic couldn't see the wisdom and necessity of her suggestions. As long as you blame other people for your feelings, as long as you believe other people caused your feelings, you're stuck. You're a helpless victim. But if you recognize the fact that you choose your feelings and you are responsible for your feelings, there's hope. You can take some time to think about our feelings. And you can decide what is the best thing to say or do. Then, you've got to learn to WALK AWAY FROM DISAPPOINTMENT. It's difficult to do, but it's possible. The famous 19th century Scottish historian, Thomas Carlyle, proved that. After working on his multi-volume set of books on "The French Revolution" for six years, Carlyle completed the manuscript and took volume one to his friend John Stuart Mill. He asked Mill to read it. Five days later, Mill's maid accidentally threw the manuscript into the fire. In agony, Mill went to Carlyle's house to tell him that his work had been destroyed. Carlyle did not flinch. With a smile, he said, "That's all right, Mill. These things happen. It is a part of life. I will start over. I can remember most of it, I am sure. Don't worry. It's all here in my mind. Go, my friend! Do not feel bad." As Mill left, Carlyle watched him from the window. Carlyle turned to his wife and said, "I did not want him to see how crushed I am by this misfortune." And with a heavy sigh, he added, "Well the manuscript is gone, so I had better start writing again." Carlyle finally completed the work, which ranks as one of the great classics of all time. He had learned to walk away from his disappointment. After all, what could Carlyle have done about his burnt manuscript? Nothing. Nothing would have resurrected the manuscript. All Carlyle could do was to get bitter or get started. And what can you do about anything once it is over? Not much. You can try to correct it if it is possible, or you can walk away from it if it isn't. Those are your only two choices. Sometimes you've just got to shake it off and step up (pun intended!!??? may be). Finally, you need to FORGIVE. It's difficult, especially when the other person doesn't deserve your forgiveness or doesn't even seek it. It's difficult when the other person is clearly in the wrong. Part of the difficulty comes from a common misunderstanding of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person's behavior is okay. And forgiveness doesn't mean that the other person is off the hook. He's still responsible for his misbehavior. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the emotional hook. It's about releasing your negative emotions, attitudes, and behaviors. It's about letting go of the past so you can go forward to the future. Everyone in your life, everyone on and off the job is going to disappoint you. If you know how to respond to those situations, you'll be way ahead of most people. You'll be able to live above and beyond your circumstances. Action: Identify two people that have disappointed, hurt, or angered you. If possible, select two people towards whom you still have some bitterness. Then ask yourself, "How does my bitterness serve me? Am I happier holding on to it? Do I sleep better? Is my life richer, fuller, and better because of my bitterness?" if you find that your bitterness is hurting you, make a decision. Actually decide to let it go. Walk away from the disappointment - which means you no longer dwell on it or talk about it. Shake off and Step Up

My answer is short. it takes a big person to forgive. completely erase the hurt from your mind, or it will drive you crazy. talk to the other party, if possible, and express your feelings. what have u got to lose?

It is hard, but sometimes you just have to accept what's happened and move on.

Depends mainly on what they did that caused you to ask this question, anyway it takes time, and understanding of whatever happened, you gotta look at it from both points of view, then analyze it, ask for a third opinion then come up with a conclusion, then you can truly forgive them, and I'm probably not making any sense, but I hope this helps at least a tiny bit. Time heals most wounds no matter how fatal they are.

Open your heart.

Time and distance...There isn't anything that can't really be forgiven. Believe that everything happens for a reason, be it your fault or someone else's. Keeping unpleasant past in mind won't do you good. Close your eyes and let the invisible hand in your mind take them away...

Forgiveness is a very hard thing for anyone to do, depending what the person has done. But forgiveness can be attained once trust can be established. If we trust the person/s would not hurt us in that manner again then we can forgive. Saying that you forgive someone without having trust means that you will in the future try to forgive that person/s. So its something you work towards. The transgressor must truely understand and feel sorrow for the pain caused. This can only be done through calm discussion. Hence to truely forgive someone we must be able to trust the person will not make a similar mistake, to ensure the person does not make a similar mistake the person must understand how they have hurt you. Once that has been established then forgiveness becomes easier.

i have forgiven many.Even those who dont deserve it and to the same damn thing to me time and again.

i always try to offer forgiveness to the ones who request it...but fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on ME.

forgive , but never give the time of day

Yes you should always turn the other cheek! But I would not date them again! :)

i have forgiven someone for cheating on me, but i could never move any farther in the relationship with that person because i know i can't forget what they did.

I believe there is moving past. I'm sure some can forgive and stay with a cheater, but I would not. One can obtain closure and move on with their life if they really want to.

Yes... I have... I did... See http://www.answerbag.com/a_view/2691789 - Worked for me.

forgiveness is always the KEY holding a grudge is never goood for YOU but the "forgetting" part is what is difficult..

I'm going to quote some people, because they say it better than I ever could! In response to a letter from someone who said she could never forgive her father because of the things he had done to her, Billy Graham replied: "What your father did was very, very wrong, and he has clearly caused you much pain in life. Nor has your pain left you, as your letter makes clear; you still hurt inside because of his wrongdoing. "That's why the real issue you face is this: How will you get over these hurts from your past? You see, your father's sin has produced a tragic harvest of anger and bitterness in your soul, and they're like a poison that will only make you miserable if you don't get rid of them. Not only will it prevent you from being happy, but it also will harm your relationships. The Bible warns, "See to it ... that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many" (Hebrews 12:15). "It isn't easy to get over the pain of what others did to us, particularly when we were young. But listen: God doesn't want you to be enslaved by the past! He loves you, and (unlike your earthly father) He wants to help you and bring healing to your heart and mind and soul. "Begin life again by turning to Christ and committing your life—including your hurts—to Him. Then ask Him to help you forgive your father in your heart. No, he doesn't deserve it—but then we don't deserve God's forgiveness, either. Forgiveness isn't easy, but it will help bring healing to your soul."~Billy Graham In response to someone else's letter on the topic, Billy Graham said: "Have you ever stopped to think about the damage you've done to yourself because of your failure to forgive? When someone hurts us, all kinds of emotions try to take control of us: anger, hurt, bitterness, resentment, depression, hopelessness—the list is almost endless. We also may want to lash out in violence and revenge, or we may even plot how we can get even with them through malicious gossip or in some other way. "But every one of those hurts you far more than it does the other person. Anger or bitterness, for example, are like an acid, eating away at our minds and hearts—and even affecting us physically. They also hurt our relationships with others; who likes to be around someone who's constantly angry or bitter? The Bible warns us against becoming like someone who "dies in bitterness of soul, never having enjoyed anything good" (Job 21:25). "The first step in forgiving someone is to turn to Christ for the forgiveness we need. Then ask God to help you forgive this person just as He has forgiven you—freely and fully. An unforgiving spirit cannot live in the light of God's love."
~Billy Graham "...Once we have experienced God's forgiveness and grace in our own lives, we should treat others the same way. No, they may not deserve it—but neither did we when God forgave us. The Bible says, 'Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you' (Ephesians 4:32).~Billy Graham My Sunday night pastor, Chuckk Gerwig, said once something like forgiveness is a mental decision and choice, not an emotion. You can listen to his recent sermon (really good) where he talks about that: "Junk: Putting Away Your Past 2"-- the 10/5/08 one on "forgiving": http://www.elevationsc.org/media.html And finally in a sermon series called "Positive Living" (as opposed to positive thinking), Michael Youssef, I believe it is spelled, did a sermon on forgiveness. I really like what he said in it, and I took notes. I want to share it with you, it might be of some help:
 LEARNING TO ENJOY FORGIVENESS by Michael Youssef Reasons for forgiveness: • Forgiveness empowers us to defeat pride --One of the main reasons we refuse to forgive someone is pride because pride makes us nourish our self pity, pride makes us espouse our self protection, pride always wants us to retaliate, pride always wants us to hit back --Positive living has no room for holding onto past hurts or holding onto past of fenses or holding onto past sins or holding onto past strife --"I refuse to carry bitterness, i refuse to let bitterness steal my joy, i refuse to let bitterness render me innaffective for the work of the Lord" is basically what Paul said • Forgiving someone is showing mercy --Don't go after the pound of flesh, show mercy, enough is enough, God shows mercy towards you • Forgiving a repentant person is the restoration of joy --To refuse to forgive a repentant person is a sin and it will steal your joy --It is a sin that will hinder you from worshipping God freely --It causes that person to keep on wallowing in their sin, to keep on drowning in his sin --But God's purpose for forgiveness is joy for everybody--the forgiver and the forgiven • Regaining love --Unforgiveness is lack of love --An unloving person is an unforgiving person, a loving person is a forgiving person --Without real and genuine love, a home can be torn apart, a friendship can be destroyed, a working relationship can be unbearable, a church can be fragmented --Paul said I refuse to live this kind of negative torment • Forgiveness is a test of obedience --Because God commands us to forgive a repentant person, to withold forgiveness from someone is an act of disobedience to God --That does not mean that God winks at sin, or that he wants it to go unconfessed or unrepented of --Once sin is confessed, once sin is repented of forgiveness must follow or else you are putting yourself above God • Maintaining unity --There is incredible blessings connected with, in relationship with unity • You are victorious over sin and Satan • To thwart Satan --Satan's plan for those who love the Lord is very different from God's plan for his children, he has a very different agenda for the individual christian, for the christian home, the christian church, the community that is operating in the name of Christ --God wants his children to be humble, he wants them to be merciful, to be joyful, loving, obediant, --Satan's agenda is the exact opposite: he wants the children of God to be cantankerous all the time, he wants them angry, he wants the merciless, he wants them to be disobediant people --When you and i refuse to forgive a repentant person, we are literally playing into Satan's hands --To refuse forgiveness, to withold forgiveness, is literally helping Satan, helping him to to devastate the individual Christian, to destroy a Christian home, to destroy a relationship, to destroy a church --Don't let him --Don't give him the upper hand --Somebody has to have the upper hand in in our life --Either other people are going to have the upper hand, Satan's going to have the upper hand, or God's going to have the upper hand --If it's going to be God than I'm going to literally make Satan mad and defeat him --If i forgive a person I'm giving God the upper hand, if i don't I'm giving Satan the upper hand --Whose upper hand is going to operate in your life --Forgiveness blesses the one who does the forgiving and the one who receives forgiveness and the home in which forgiveness is practiced and a church in which forgiveness is practiced and Satan does not want to have you be blessed • "Thanks be to God who always leads us in a triumphant procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of Him, for we are to God the arroma of christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing!" • He visualizes the victorious Lord Jesus Christ marching in an unstoppable triumphant procession throughout the world, and right behind him all the faithful christian soldiers, those who have fought the spiritual battles against sin and Satan, those who are triumphantly marching behind their Commander and Chief. • When you visualize that every moment of every day, every waking moment in the life of every believer, you are in a triumphant procession, when you visualize that you are marching behind your Commander and Chief, when you realize that you are victorious over sin and Satan day in and day out, you will find it easy to forgive a repentant person, a person who might have hated you, a person who might have hurt you. When you visualize this your'e going to find it easy to experience positive living. • What that means is when you get up in the morning and you're feeling lousy, you have to say to yourself "today i am in a triumphant procession behind my victorious general Jesus!" when sickness and disease threaten to undo you and get you down you have to say to yourself "i am in a triumphant procession marching behind my victorious General Jesus" • When you face problems that threaten to crush you you have to say "I am today marching in a victorious procession behind my victorious General Jesus!" • Satan tries to remind you of your past sins of which you have repented a long time ago; you have to remind him that this day you are marching in a triumphant procession behind your victorious general Jesus • When you ask someone to forgive you but they refuse to forgive you, you need to remind yourself that today you are marching in a victorious procession behind my victorious General Jesus • Thanks be to God because he ALWAYS leads us in a triumphant procession • The spoils that are in this procession are the ones that you have helped to rescue from hell to heaven, from death to life, from darkness to light, that's who they are • The sweet aroma is the result of you forgiving a repentant sinner, a repentant person who hurt you • Whatever is stopping you from living the positive life, today you can begin to visualize that you are in triumphant procession (Then I added this, to tell myself when I'm having trouble forgiving someone): I will defeat my pride--and its self-pity, self-protection, and relatiation. I will no longer hold onto past hurts. I refuse to carry bitterness. I refuse to let it steal my joy. I refuse to live in this negative torment. I will have mercy. I will love. I will obey God's command to forgive. I will not put myself above God. I will thwart Satan. I will be humble, merciful, joyful, loving, and obediant--like God desires. I will not be angry, merciless, and disobediant like Satan wants. I refuse to play into Satan's hands, to help Satan. To help him devastate me. I won't let Him. I won't let him have the upper hand. I am going to let God have the upper hand and make Satan mad and defeat him. Every waking moment of every day I am in a triumphant procession behind my victorious general Jesus! Victorious over sin and Satan!

Forgiveness is not for the person who has hurt or offended you. It is for you. The resentment that you carry inside is like a poison that eats at you. Forgiveness is just letting go of the resentment. It does not mean that you have to put that person back in a position to hurt you again or that you forget what has been done. You just let go of the resentment. As far as the punishment for what they have done, God has set a program in place from the beginning of time. For scientists this law is called "for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction." For many people it is called the law of Karma. No matter what you may call it, the law exists. In my world the payment is called "Indemnity." There are several different kinds: from the sin of Adam and Eve everyone has inherited some; from the sins of our ancestors we inherit some (I will visit the sins of the father unto the son;) the sins of the world (just look around and you will see this); and, our own sins. Many Christians believe that it's OK to dump their load on Jesus just because he is willing to accept it when what they should be doing, if they were truly Christian (Christlike) would be to straighten up and stop sinning or at the very least make their best effort not to. I have heard many say that they can do whatever they want because Christians don't sin (obviously not understanding the teaching at all.) But, I digress. The answer comes back to: Forgiveness is for you not for the person who has harmed you. God bless you. For all the evil in the world, there is goodness!

I think it takes a lot of time to forgive when someone has hurt you really bad. I also think forgiveness is a sign of maturity and understanding that ultimately you are not the judge of them....Only God is. From a catholic perspective, not forgiving, ultimately goes against Love...and that is God's greatest commandment. I don't know if you believe in God? but I wouldn't want to go against him. Pray for it, that you are able to forgive the other person.

Accept that the person is human. Here's a quote you might want to think about: "After awhile, you realize you need to stop getting mad and just expect the lowest from the people you thought the highest of." I didn't make it up. Someone else did. I'd still like to know who first said it, though.

Forgive move on and love yourself enough not to let them hurt you again. Let it go, let them go. It's up to them to change. If they are still full of poison, don't swallow any of it again.

time is honestly the only healer. The best thing is to deal with it, cry and then put it to the back of your mind and forget about it. People make mistakes, we are all human and it is possible for people to change but you have to see that they want to change. If they do, then what are you worried about? On the other hand, if they arent sorry, forget about them and then you dont have to worry about forgiving them because you wont have to be around them for it to hurt you. xx

You take the time to realise what's going on, what you feel for them, what you want and after that if you feel they deserve another chance and you don't want to leave them, then you are ready to forgive. +5

how did they hurt you?

i forgive when they realise they have hurted me , and tell them not to repeat that mistake again :)

ARTICLE: Facts On Forgiving People http://www.answerbag.com/articles/Facts-on-Forgiving-People/2902dadd-0080-5ed1-d26f-302961ab4514

It depends on how they hurt you. If it was something really serious, I'd consider giving them the flick. What's the use of being with someone if you KNOW that you won't get over this issue, and you KNOW that it will just hang over you, making you distrust your partner? If it was something less serious, or something you feel that you can move past, then you should try to forgive the person. Sit down and talk with them, and try to understand why they did the thing that hurt you. Did they know that it would hurt you? If so, why did they do it? Will they promise never to do it again?