ANSWERS: 18
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I'm sorry for the pain I know this is causing you. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you but I'm sure a lot of women in their 40's will appreciate the question. ;)
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First of all, she isn't a girl and she should bloody know better than to date someone elses husband. Second of all what your husband is doing is very wrong. He won't talk? How dispicable. He doesn't deserve anything from you. You should take a leave of absence from this situation. He is wasting your time. I know you love him but he is abusing you.
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When I confronted him it took him twice saying no! before he finally admitted it. He then told me "Look at yourself, you let you let yourself go, you never color your hair". That infuriated me. How could he say this to me? I said to him, look at yourself, baggy skin etc. I wanted to know where and how he met her, Where she lived, where he stayed when he was with her, and where he took her on his harley. He never answered my questions. After that was over, he said to me he was a fool and sorry for what he did to me, and not to pay attention to what he said about my physical appearance. I called the girl and she gave me her name, so a lot of info I got came from her name using google. I told my husband I give him a year to ask me to renew our marriage vows, well he has two months left, I tell you he probably won't ask me. So come April, if he doesnt come clean with me about everything and ask me to re marry him, then I will leave for good. and start over.
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I am almost 43 and I don't know what I would want with a 59 year old man. My 43 year old husband is falling apart and I can't even imagine having sex with a guy of 59 who might have a heart attack in the middle of the act. Shame on this woman if she knew that your husband is a married man. Shame on your husband if he told this woman he was not married.
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You aren't likely to get the answers you want, even if he has ended the affair. Decide whether you would be better off without him, and act accordingly. Many women have forgiven their wayward husbands if they are contrite and open about the state of things. If he won't talk by now, there's not much hope he ever will.
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I'm 52 yrs old, been married over 30 yrs and if I found out my hsb had been having an affair...he'd be out! Just that simple. I wouldn't care about the "who" or the "why" of it. This is something we discussed before we ever got married. If there are problems in the marriage, they need to be taken care of. BTW, it would be the same for me if I were the one that had the affair.
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If he doesn't love you enough to suck up his pride and discuss his mistake then I don't think you should stay with him. I definitely wouldn't stay with a man who cared more about his pride then my feelings, especially concerning such an important matter!
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I'd recommend that you go to the Betrayed Spouses Support message board on ivillage.com rather than answerbag. I wish you all the best!
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Oh honey I am sorry..but get rid of him, take the house, car empty the savings and half his penion an move on..He is a pig..you will see that 43 year old will dump his ass late on. She has a daddy complex for him..Move on..
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There is not such thing as a 43 year old girl. Fuggghettaboutit.....Let it go........He's probably done it 100 times. It is a hunter and gatherer thing,.
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what is there to talk about ? you want an explanation ? an apology ? from him ....what is that worth from HIM ? I would think his words are about as worthless as he is
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You have to get him drunk and ask him. That's how I found out mom my doesn't love me...
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It's easy for strangers on the Internet to say things like "dump him" and "take him for everything he's got," but this is your husband, your life partner and the person with whom you exchanged vows. The things he said to you were probably a knee-jerk reaction to assuage his guilt and being caught red-handed. Let that go. And don't waste time with chasing down the other woman; this has nothing to do with her. This is about you and your husband. Sometimes, something comes up in a marriage that is simply too big for the parties involved to solve by themselves. Have you considered counseling? It's fairly easy these days to find a competent, reasonable therapist and oftentimes your insurance will pay for it. Something caused your husband to be unfaithful. While his actions are COMPLETELY his own, they may be a sign that something is weak in the marriage. Only you can decide whether it's worth fixing. Renewing wedding vows is fine, but it's a gesture. What you may need is to relearn how to communicate to each other and become true partners again. Good luck with whatever decision you make.
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the way to get him to talk is to appear to be seeing everything from his point of view
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Do you REALLY want to know? Are you sure you want to know? It will only eat away at you worse than it does now.
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well like i did with my fiance instead of asking him since hes not giving you any confirmation on where you stand in all this. the truth is special most men dont realize women need to hear it when it comes to cheating because until then they arent forgiven and we dewell on it like a habit like a ciggarette smoker. and until weve been give the answer with the proof we arent happy. but why not go and ask her . remember the fault mostly lies on the cheater the other women isnt your husband she didnt vow a forever oath at your wedding he did. so he is to blame full force. most women are lied to when it comes to our men cheating with them. so go ask her tell her you just want to know that you dont hold her responsible. hes also probably trying to protect her or cover himself . do you know the women he cheated with.
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At 43 this is hardly a girl! The very least he owes you is an explanation. Can you contact the woman that he had the affair with? You might try telling him if he won't talk about it then you will talk to her-that may get him a tad scared! Marriage guidance would probably be the best thing for you. But really I would be vary wary-once a cheater,always a cheater !
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I never understand someone who still wants something from a person like that. What do you thinks going to happen? You can't trust him, he turned your marriage into a sham. Move on. He doesn't deserve one more second of your time.
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