Is extreme anger a normal reaction to a question regarding fidelity? Not asked in an accusatory manner but out of genuine concern, with what looks like good reason? Or is it a sign of guilt?
by 
katespana
ANSWERS: 2
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It sort of depends -- as you are obviously raising suspicion, and showing signs that you don't trust your partner. When I was married, my wife accused me of affairs with women I worked with -- the first time I didn't think it was a big deal, but she never really trusted me, and that bothered me.
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When a person gets angry it is frequently a self-anger, below which is usually fear below which is usually pain. So it is important to get to the root of the anger, the fear and finally the pain. You might find that his parents, close relatives or close friends had fidelity problems and your question triggered something around that. It could be there is a feeling of potential infidelity and anger comes from recognizing this and feeling guilty about it. Of course there is the possibility the accusation is accurate and the response is based on fear of discovery. So many possibilities. But your right, there should be a discussion about the reaction and an attempt made to reach an understanding. There is also the feeling, sometimes, of betrayal that one's integrity is being questioned...but that shouldn't draw anger. So talk about it and if necessary, consider counseling. Regardless of the underlying reason, if both sides want the relationship to work it will keep working.
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