ANSWERS: 9
  • You can not change someone else you can only change yourself. Have you sat down with him and explained your needs? Are they reasonable? Has he changed from when you meet him? Obviously telling him to change isn't working, he is probably comfortable with who he is.
  • Aww that is really sad! I mean my heart totally goes out to you and your girls. I think you should leave him (I know this will be very difficult) but what if he actually starts to hurt you? And then he could start hitting your girls. I am sure that you do not want you little girls going through such a horrible thing. I think it is totally FINE that you tell him to change himself. He should be changing for the good of himself and your family. I am totally rooting for you in this whole thing and hope you make the best decision possible! If he gets too angry tell him to go take a walk to cool himself down. It worked for my dad.
  • "Harsh ways" and "conceited ego"... Is that code for abuser? If so, get out now. You can be in danger and so can your kids. Even if not, your children deserve to live in a home with love in it... If you're no longer in love with him, why are you forcing him on yourself and your children? You cannot make him change. You CAN ask him to. BUT, you've asked, and, apparently, he's responded (20 times?) "NO." My suggestion: Leave with your head held high... You have obviously tried to make it work, but it hasn't. Maybe he will grow up after you're gone... Maybe not. Meanwhile, do what's best for you and your girls.
  • Im in the same boat as you. I dont know what to do. I have a five year old son who thinks my b/f is his father becuase my son's real dad passed away when he was young. my b/f is a great father but he can be so harsh. He is NOT physically abusive but verbally yes. But I spit words back to him in a fight as well so Im guilty as well for that. He has a HUGE ego. He is never in the wrong maybe 4 times out of ten he has admitted it but it took a war between us to get him to realize he was wrong. And by that time his sorrys were way over due. Ive been with him for almost four years I moved my life and my sons life 500 miles away from everything I knew to be with him. I would say I'm happy 30% of our time together. He is so hard to communicate with but I have threaten to leave before if he did not change some of his ways, and he did but I dont feel he will ever grow up. He is 30 years old.
  • If you constantly feel the need to tell him that he needs to change, then it is best to break up with him. You can't change people. Let him go while you still can and while you're still thinking rationally.
  • this guy smells like an abuser - and people dont change - think about it and do the best thing for your children and yourself
  • You seriously need to see a family counselor. If he won't go, go by yourself and find out how to deal with your feelings. The only person you can change is yourself. You can decide you will learn to live with the man the way he is, or decide you will no longer live with him.
  • Say it, mean it, do it!!!!!! Actions speak much LOUDER than words!!!!!!!!
  • Here we go....I don't love you anymore, you're not the guy I married. You're about the right age from my experience. Suck up the life changes or move on...OK so I'm a little bitter.....she moved on. Women are fickle (but ya still gotta love em):)

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