Stop ruining another womans life!!!!! How dare you or him think that this arrangement is ok?! I just don't get how you could even ask this question? Think of the lives you are ruining!!! A child with half a father who can't commit to you so how is he expected to commit to a child? Children's lives are precious they are not chess pieces that you can use to manipulate and improve your illicit love life.

Well its not wot you thinkin' I don't choose where love settles. His just my kind of man ok. Am very attactive actually, I turn down single guys for this married man. HEY, M IN L-O-V-E

No dont have a child with him! he is using you whether you think its okay or not,do you recon he will maintain a child?? He will ruin your life as well as that of a child and his wife,you are young enough to find a man of your own and have a family with. If you must carry this on,please dont have a baby

I think you deserve each other. How often do you find someone with a total and complete lack of morals & self respect, just like yourself! Sounds like a match made in heaven. He wants a kid & your happy with that idea?!? OMG! I hope your ability to parent is better than your ability to find a eligible mate, or use common sense! Can you say selfish? Have you considered how his wife feels? How your child would feel? How you would explain to your child who his Daddy is, and why he can't see/live with his Daddy? Is this man prepared to support this child? What happens when he decides he wants a younger mistress? Are you sure he doesn't already have another mistress, 'cause if he'll lie to his wife, he'll lie to you too! (yes he will)

Shame on you. Get your own damn man.

I think looking at this from not selfish eyes as in you and your mans but from the kids view. Dont you think the child deserves a dad to be there for him all the time and not part time? I understand that families today the dad might leave the household or may leave before the childs born but it wasnt planned. You are planning for that decsion already. The child doesnt deserve a long distance dad, it deserves a dad that is there for him any time it needs him. Tell him if he wants a kid have one with his wife!

I think you deserve better than a married man even if you are happy with the situation. You may not always feel that way. And definately a child will not be happy with that situation. And there is the wife. Is this relationship fair to her? If he isnt good to her then he may not be as good to you as you think, especially if you get trapped into his life with a child. Good luck in your situation

I think you need to get your priorities straight. You say you are happy with the relationship as a long distance thing but then you say you want a child. Since he is married you should find another guy to be interested in you. And then you can think about having a child with the new guy.

I am doubtful about the child; but having the relationship with him is fine. Be discreet, know that you won't have him for holidays and vacations, and love him as he needs to be loved and take his love when he can give it. This is the twenty-first century and what you have with him has been going on since the first century.

If he cared for you enough to have a child with you he'd leave his wife and direct his full attention towards you. It's sad that you don't have enough respect for yourself to tell him it's either all or nothing because the "arrangement" you two have is NOT ok.

I think it's very sad that anyone would deliberately set about to bring to bring a child into a world where it's own mother and father are so severely lacking in their commitment to each other, that they do not even wish to live together :(

karma is a bitch honey

I think you're a home wrecker and if you have a kid with him, you're an idiot too. You asked...!

I think you should leave married men alone and find one who is single.

Don't they have any single men in your town?

I think my sister fits the description of your "boyfriend's wife". The whole situation is saddening our entire family and all of our friends deeply as they have twins we all really adore and my sister is about the nicest person ever created. Affairs are very selfish. In a marriage there are alot of other people involved that you probably haven't even considered-nor do even know about. I think you should consider what type of person you really want to be. How will you feel when he does this to you? Have you considered that he has shown the same kind of love to his wife and then tossed it away for the next best thing? You are 29 now. What will he think of you in 15 years? I think you should look for someone available who wants only you. This person is probably constantly unsatisfied. After all, he needs two women. Plus you deserve someone who makes you feel good about what you are doing. If you felt good about it, you wouldn't be asking advice. I am sure you are a nicer person than this. Try not to feed your ego with someone elses failing marriage. You only have on life, this is how you want to live? Find love that is real-and just for you-don't steal someone elses just because you have the opportunity and you don't feel like looking anymore.

Why do you want sloppy seconds. Do you not feel like you are worthy of a man of your own, or do you enjoy destroying a family? He made a commitment to her. If he doesn't want to keep it, you don't need to contribute. If you have his baby, you will be doing it on your own. He is a piece of shit man. By the way are you Christian? What about the "thou shall not commit adultary" part. Aren't you worried what God is gonna do to you for being a homewrecker, and breaking his commandments?

All over the sophisticated, industrialized world except in the puritanical United States such arrangements are accepted. Suppression of sexuality and restricting ones self to a single emotional relationship just doesn't work, as is proven by a divorce rate of 50% for first marriages and 60% (!) for second marriages in the US. Having outside marriage relationships is good for men AND women. Families are kept together and brains continue to develop. Keep it discreet and it works! It's not home wrecking. If anything it's the opposite. No one, neither man nor woman, should expect to have a complete and enriching life with a single person. I'm told that pigeons manage it--but then humans aren't pigeons.

'

What do I think? I think it sounds like a dumb idea. Are you considering the needs of the child you are planning to have, or only your own?

hes married dude! think if you were her. you need to fin someone else, hes a scumbag. even if you dont see it that way, hes playing you both.

I think you're an idiot, plain and simple. Having a child changes your outlook completely, especially when it comes to relationships, and you have no idea yet because you have yet to experience it. You are convinced that you'll be fine with him knocking you up and seeing you so often, now. But believe me, once you have that baby, you are going to find yourself pining for the chance he will up and leave his family to be with you because he's the father of your child. Guaranteed. You want to continue selling yourself short of finding a happy and healthy relationship while interferring in someones' marriage, then continue this incredulous behavior. You will never be satisfied. At your age, you should know better and think better of yourself to think you deserve anything less. Do not by any means have a baby with that guy, at all. Good luck.

I think it is a very bad idea. YOU may be happy with this arrangement and HE may be also, but what of his wife? When he married, he agreed to forsake all others, and he's not living up to his end of the bargain. If it's such a good arrangement, why not ask her opinion? She's a party to this relationship, so she ought to have a say in it. As for a child? You've got to be kidding. I don't know if this man has children with his wife, but having a child with a mistress is very selfish. It doesn't put the child's well being first and it leaves you short also. He can't fully be there for either family if he's dividing his time. And what of your child's feelings? There is no favorable way to explain this relationship to a child and why he/she can't share 100% of his life with his/her father. You and your future children deserve a man that is committed to you. If you insist on entering into an open arrangement, at least make sure all parties are willing participants.

Keep the lover, be his mistress, but don't have the baby.

Are you desperate enough to try to take someone else's man to have a baby. You two sound like you deserve each other. Maybe in a couple of years he will find someone to take yours place.

Why would you have a baby by a man who is married and what kind of father would that be for your child? Also if you were married would you want you husband cheating on you and having a child be another woman? Stop being used and yes, that is what it is not love. You need to find a single man who is interested in being with you and having children if that is what you both want. Once again what you are doing is wrong and the old saying of what goes around comes around is true so stop messing around with another man's woman because one day you might just be that woman.

Well I think your both immature selfish people with no ethics or morals what so ever. How horrible it would be to have you or him as a parent. I hope his wife finds out and leaves him. How proud your parents most be to have a daughter with such a huge lack off morals. Your crazy if yo truly believe your the only one he's having sex with other than his wife. You proved to him how easy it is to make someone believe huge lies and do what ever they want. He is lying to you if he says your the only other one. Having a kid..... well just another child of satan.

i think you should wait on that, bcuz having a baby with a married man it should be think twice or more...bcuz it may bring more problems...

I hope he ruins your life just like u have done to his wife even if she doesnt know yet. Then i hope she finds out about u kicks him out and then he finds someone else that he falls in love with and they kick him out. As for u i hope the same goes for u. Having a child WHAT!!! as the child gets older what r u going to tell it. Oh sorry baby i slept with a married man. It was ok because we loved each other. Great advice for u kid. He will never be yours.Even if it does happen not for long.

Do what makes u happy. It not ur fault that there is not enough men for every woman in this world. As far as the baby as long as you love ur baby and raise him or her in the right manner he or she will be no different as if they grew up in a home with a married couple who argued and fussed all the time good luck.

Raise your self esteem.

To be honest, I think you are mad and deluding yourself. You may be happy with the situation at the moment, but what about when you need a baby sitter, or when you need the child's father to be there for the school christmas play? Are you always going to play second fiddle to another woman? Then think about this. He is happily cheating on his wife with you. You are a little younger than he is. How long do you think it will be before he starts cheating on you for someone a little younger? He has done it once, successfully, so will do it again. How do you think you will feel when you discover that he is with someone else, who like you, is happy to be the "other woman"? and then there is the child you hope to have with him. Are you happy to bring a child into the world knowing that it will never have a full relationship with its father? I know the world is full of children whose parents are divorced, seperated, or where one parent is absent. Just because that is becoming the norm does not make it an ideal situation. To willfully plan to create a life and bring it into the world in a situation which is not ideal seems to me as if you are thinking with your hormones and not with your heart. Let's face it, at 29 we all get a little worried that we are being passed by, and the old biological clock tells us that if we do not have children now we may never get the chance, but you really need to be realistic about this, and think it through very carefully.