ANSWERS: 63
  • Dump him. You don't need someone who's gonna treat you like that. If you choose to lose weight then that's fine but get rid of him either way.
  • Be healthy. Get regular exercise, eat well, and DUMP THE JERK!!
  • Leave him or lose weight. It seems pretty simple to me. Losing weight is easy, if you're properly motivated. If you love him, you'll understand that he needs to feel physically attracted towards you. That seems like a good motivator. Exercise for an hour or two every day and watch what you eat from time to time. If you're happy with your body, then find someone else who will be happy with it too. It's a no-brainer really.
  • dont let any guy ever do that to you.if he is trying to make you choose over something that is that petty than leave him you dont need him.you deserve much better than a guy who wont take you for who you are.
  • He is using emotional blackmail, get rid of him and suit yourself whether you want to lose weight or not. Yes, it is not fair the way he has treated you.
  • Lose the weight for you IF you want to lose it or lose about 180 pounds quickly by dumping him!!!
  • You have a third - and better - choice. You leave him. If you feel you want to be healthier and lose wieght, find a reasonable nutrition plan and step up the exercise. If you do this, do it for YOU. You boyfriend has no right to dictate how you live and lacks the maturity to recognize that the worth of a person lies inside them. If he wanted to help you become the best person you could be, he'd have suggested you two start working out, maybe learn to cook some healthier meals. What he wants is a "suitably pretty" trophy, and no woman should play into that. You are beautiful, no matter your body size or type. I hope you find someone who realizes that. Good luck.
  • No, he wants you to LOSE weight. If it were tied to you, only then could you loose or loosen weight. So I guess he is a 100% perfect physical specimen with absolutely no faults that need changing? Until he is, I suggest that he shut up and worry about his own physique, and not give hurtful ultimatums. People need to decide ON THEIR OWN if they want to lose weight. Such statements like the one from your boyfriend only add pressure and are really not fair in any way. Often they have the exact opposite effect of what they are trying to achieve. My suggestion? Do what you want with your weight, and dump the uncaring, unkind loser. Good luck!
  • I think you should maintain a healthy weight for yourself, for your own health and because it helps you feel good about yourself. What weight you *should* be depends on your height. As for the guy, leave him and don't look back. He shouldn't be giving you ultimatums like that, he obviously cares too much about your appearance than YOU. Regardless of whether you lose the weight or not, he'd be the first thing I'd lose if I were you! Good luck :)
  • Loose the boyfriend now then worry about your weight. Just remember, nobody is prefect, regardless of what they weigh. Find a weight that you are comfortable with and don't worry what other people think.
  • you should lose the weight (if you want) and then once he notices....LEAVE! He'll be sorry.
  • Obviously he's a loser who's only concern is how you look in his arms. Things like that never stop at one thing. I can assure you he is controlling and if you do lose the weight for him he will find something else to nit pick about. If you want to lose weight that's fine but do it for you....and get rid of the jerk.
  • Loose weight, remove the 100 odd ugly pounds of boyfriend.
  • Ooooooh! This is real easy! "BYE!!" After he's gone, focus on getting trim, then go by and wag your tight little ass at him some day in the future.......but make sure he NEVER gets any of it!
  • Dump him, he's a jerk. He's obviously only interested in your looks, so why be with someone like that?
  • I say you need a third option here, which would be, take neither. I would dump the shallow ass boyfriend, and the extra pounds, BECAUSE IT WOULD BE BEST FOR ME! Then, let the asshole eat his heart out when see the new slim you (on another guys arm!).
  • Depends whether he's concerned about your health, or he's just horrible. Talk to him about why he wants you to loose the weight, for yourself, or for him. I only know stones, so I don't actualy know how big this is, but aslong as you're healthy and happy, he should be too!
  • Loose the boyfriend today, worry about loosing the extra weight tomorrow - if at all.
  • God hon I feel for you. My boyfriend and I nearly split up a year ago because he said if I ever put on weight he would not find me attractive anymore and probably leave me. We had been together 8 months when he said it and I was a big girl when he met me. I told him if he maintained his shallow atttitude I couldn't be with him. He apologised, agreed that it was really about him wanting to control me, and we are still together, have been almost two years now. Yet in the back of my mind I am still unsure if I want to marry him in future because I saw a different side to him that day. I too felt brokenhearted and prepared myself emotionally for life without him. Even though we are still together, I have never seen him in quite the same way since. Suddenly he was a different person somehow. Hon - you tell him he has to love you unconditionally or he knows where the door is. Part of me still wonders if I should have got out that day when I had the chance as I still wonder if his attitude is still there bubbling beneath the surface. Like can someone truly turn their attitude around just like that? Please remember you are so much more than your weight/dress size and a good man will see that. I am not short of male attention even at 210 pounds/5ft4!! Look after yourself sweetheart and only lose weight for yourself not a callous man like him. True love doesn't hurt. Please dump him if, after you tell him how hurt you feel, he maintains his attitude. God bless, I really feel for you XX
  • You can tell him I said...'Meat is for men....bones are for dogs'! ;)
  • how much does your boyfriend weigh? for example if he weighs 180 you can instantly lose 180 by DUMPING HIM!!! Don't ever let a man give you that sort of ultimatum, tell him where to go beautiful :)
  • Anybody who wants you to change in order to be with them is not worth it.
  • I'd suggest losing 168 lbs (or more) of boyfriend.
  • hm. well dump him fast because he doesn't deserve you then if you feel your weight is unhealthy work on it for yourself
  • {my cold hearted answer} Make yourself a homemade slingshot. Use a bright orange golf ball as a projectile. Aim it at his testicles when he isn't looking, and fire away. Make sure you don't miss.[/my cold hearted answer}* *this isn't seriously what you should do, but it sure sounds hilarious. Seriously you should reconsider having a relationship with someone that treats you like this. If you do want to lose weight, your incentive should be a healthy one, not so that some **** will "like" you. You should leave him.
  • Wow, that's harsh. I wouldn't take that kind of BS from a guy - "him or the weight," please! If he were citing health reasons and saying that he was concerned for you that might be one thing, but this is just sheer vanity on his part. (How tall are you anyway?) I had a boyfriend once who told me that I needed to lose weight when I was only 120. It made me feel awful, even though I knew he was being ridiculous. So why stay with a guy who's just trying to manipulate you?
  • It sounds like you should break up with him. You should lose weight because you want to, not because someone else tells you you have to... unless he's like your doctor or something.
  • Get rid of his ass,and holler at a player.LOL
  • well you say boyfrind if this is not a serious relationship you need to move on you will find someone for you that loves you and the way you look. my wife and i of 16 years both decided that we both could loose a few pounds but there was never any issues that we needed to because i dont like the way you look the right person will like/love you for who you are. dont run away and ruin what you got but talk to him and find out is it really me (being who you are)or is it me(someone else he wants to make you) good luck
  • OMG THAT SO MEAN!!!!! you do it 4 u not him how dear he say that!!!
  • First of all do you feel good about your weight are you okay with your weight and if so leave him if he really cares about you the way he should he won't make you choose or he would say lets do it as a couple so we both can get healthy
  • WHAT THE HELL?? am sorry hun but u defnetly need to have a seroiuse talk with hm.. he should love u 4 who u are no matter how u look like not for wht u are.. if u wanna lose some wight then do it 4 urself n if he is welling to lose you for the way u look then let hm go itz hez lost n u deserve much better....
  • he should encourage you to be healthy and workout with you versus giving ultimatums... but i dont think its totally terrible of him to want you to be healthy and maintain a healthy weight.
  • If he really loves you, he wouldn't have asked you this type of question? I think he didn't really loved you, (when you were slim and attractive, he liked to have only sex with you, now you gained weight, probably he trying to dump you and wants to go with someone slimmer then you).He is using emotional blackmail. If he is a good person he'd have suggested you to start working out or helping you out. (It's between two hearts,it's not about the weight)
  • that must be a tought thing to hear, especially as an ultimatium. be healthy, 168 is not bad! that ultimatium is totally and completly unfair and unnecessary.
  • Well, your boyfriend is an idiot and he lets peer pressure get on his way. perhaps the reason why he wants you to lose weight is because his friends laugh at him for having a girlfriend weighing 168 lbs. Well, it doesn't really matter though what you're weight is. if he LOVES you, then no matter what he will accept you. Weight matters for your health though. Just try to be healthier. Wait a moment, are you 168 lbs, or 168 kilos? If you are the heavier of the two, then start living a healthier lifestyle. Good Luck!
  • I'm not going to read through all of the other answers, before posting this one, so please forgive me, if this duplicates the answer of another ABer. A guy who says, "Lose weight or I leave you!" is a guy who is not worth your time, at all. Love is, among other things, UNCONDITIONAL. It doesn't come with "strings attached," nor any kind of "expiration dates." Obviously, your BF doesn't know what REAL love is all about, and if I were female and in your shoes, I'd tell him, "Good-bye, and Good Luck!"
  • Go to Realage.com . It will helps you.
  • The 1st thing that you need to loose is that IDIOT of a boyfriend that you have and if you do want to loose some weight after that, start walking and exercising. Maybe try the Special K diet. I have been doing it for a while. I love the bars and the cereal. Good luck.
  • Do you feel unhealthy? If so then get active and lose some weight. We cannot comment on wether 168 is healthy or not because we do not know how tall you are or your body shape. However, according to body mass index unless you are taller than 5'8" you are overweight if you weigh 168 however the BMI would calculate all athletes as being overweight due to a high proportion of muscle mass so you can't always take these things as gospel. (Don't shoot the messenger!) If you are physically active person and apart from your boyfriend saying this you generally have no problems with your weight and his automatum had started to make you feel crappy about yourself then you need to tell him that that is not going to work. Instead of saying "you need to lose weight" he should say "let's do more physical activities together". Maybe you are one of these people that is always complaining to their boyfriends that they feel fat and are constantly asking for reassurance that he still finds you attractive and he is sick of hearing it and is just trying to find away (poorly I might add) of motivating you to lose weight. Have you considered this? If this is the case then you guys need to work on your communication skills before thinking about breaking up. However, if you are healthy and you are truly happy with your weight and levels of fitness then challenge your boyfriend on why he thinks this is a reasonable request. If it is purely for vanity and superficial reasons, then dump his sorry arse. Life is hard enough without assholes like that in it.
  • If you're happy with your size, then continuing being happy, but without him. You're not a lump of clay for him to mold into what he thinks you should be. And little does he know there's plenty of men who will love you just the way you are.
  • Most other people here have told you, supportingly, to lose weight for yourself. You never said how tall you are, or what your general physique is like. As an example - I'm 5 foot 9 inches, and have an exceedingly large bone / frame structure. My ideal weight is actually 175. 168 might be in the normal range for you. Regardless, any man that tells you to lose weight or lose him is not worth the battle. Have a sense of personal pride, tell him off, and find someone new. Enjoy being pleasantly plump (it will come off if/when you're ready for it to), dump the jerk, and lose your temporary sorrows in a good movie.
  • just loose the wieght its good for you anyways
  • Never worry about your weight, if you are happy with what you weight is then leave him. there is no way anyone can ask you that question. if he truly loves you he would accept you for who you are. i'd say leave him, who ever dares to say something like that should not be given a second chance. the only possible way that could be ok is if (this is a really big stretch but..) you wanted to loose weight and you asked him to do whatever possible to help you. even that is an ass move..
  • If you feel unhealthy or insecure, than do the right things to help yourself, the obvious, eat well and exercise. If you are happy with your appearance and are a healthy weight (tall girls, and athletically built girls weigh more on the scale but it doesn't mean you aren't fit) than don't worry about it! I think the bigger question is if he is worth it. Because if he is trying to change you, maybe you two aren't meant for each other and there will be someone else who will except you as you are. Good luck :)
  • dump the jerk
  • I wonder if you lost the weight would he find something else to complain about..
  • That is nothing short of appauling. If he is asking you to loose weight as a choice then fair enough but gving you an altermatum? i would say get rid of him he obviously just see;s you as arm candy and not as the strong wonderful woman i know you are
  • 1. If he can't accept you for who you are, regardless of how much you weigh, then in my personal opinion, he doesn't deserve you. 2. Trying to lose weight for someone else is like an alcoholic or a drug addict trying to kick an addiction because other people want them to. Sure, maybe you lose the weight for a little while, but you probably make yourself sick and you're miserable in the process and eventually, you'll gain the weight back. If YOU want to lose the weight, then go for it: try to eat healthy, excercise, whatever you feel you can do. But don't do it for someone else. 3. Emotional blackmail is a form of abuse and could be a sign of a budding abusive relationship. My advice: Get out of the relationship now, regardless of whether or not you decide to lose weight.
  • This is the easiest question I've ever answered. What's that saying about don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out... Lose the boyfriend.
  • I would dump the jerk immediatly. He is extremely cruel and insensitive. Asking anyone to choose between them and something is very manipulative and prideful. Remember you are beautiful and you don't need this unthoughtful pig.
  • Lose the weight.  
  • In reading these responses, I have seen that the average person is ASSUMING you are overweight at 168 pounds because of your boyfriends request. This is another example of how stereotyped we have become. Has anyone taken into consideration that maybe the boyfriend is using her weight as an excuse to end things by making her choose so he can't be the guilty party and there's really nothing wrong with her physique? Or that it's possible that maybe he's been told by his friends that "with his looks he really should have a better built girl", forcing him to cave to peer pressure? Most people here have written answers indicating they believe that this person really is "chunky", and know nothing of the situation or her. I think it's appalling that the AVERAGE person can't allow other people to be AVERAGE, instead assuming that the stereotype has not been met and acting on that. BTW - I hope you dump the jerk, find a real man, and flaunt him as much as possible to the jerk.
  • dump him! the only reasons for a person to lose weight is if there unhealthy or dont like the way they look wich u seem to be neither of. no one should ever try to change you especially you bf. he is only interested in skindeep things. leave asap
  • If your "boyfriend" truly cared about you as a person, he would try to help you help yourself. He should also accept you as you are. If you are happy as you are then tell him to get out. If you want help because you want to loose weight because it is healthier for you then just start walking, crunches, sit ups running, leg lifts. Just start slow and just watch what you eat to start out. Have a salad for lunch with a little dressing instead of say a big mac.
  • get rid of him, he isn't worth your time
  • Let him go, if he loves you he will love you no matter what your weight is.. if he was really worried about your weight and health he would of encouraged you lose weight the right way not with an ultimatum.
  • I think its disgusting how he's dealt with that situation. It could possibly be that he's simply concerned for your health. However it could be that hes a complete arsehole and thinking only of himself. I'd talk to him first and find out why he wants you to lose the weight. Spend some time thinking about it and whether you really want to be with this person. Lose the weight for yourself, for your health, for your happiness. Don't be with a selfish person who's only real bother is himself.
  • i would say do what makes you happy.
  • How much does HE weigh? That's how much you should lose!!!
  • dump him and then lose weight not because of some stupid guy but because its for your health.
  • For yourself you want to be healthy, but for your boyfiend get rid of him. Shame on him.
  • i would dump him and lose weight for your own health, dont let him control you like that

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