M friend recently told me she has cancer, i am there for her as much as she needs me but i just dont know what to say, i think my fear is her dying on me, any help would be great
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ANSWERS: 12
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And you have every right to fear that. She is going through a lot I'm sure, but cancer affects friends and family as well. Don't be ashamed of feeling however you do right now. Make the best of your time together and don't just dwell on the cancer when you two are together.
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You seem like a great friend,just tell her that you're there for her.And how much you like her and care about her.
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Cancer these days is more of a bother than a life threatening situation. You have every right to be worried, but you must be positive! Both of you. Don't get me wrong, I know it's hard. I've been on both sides. My grandmother died of lung cancer, but my mother survived breast cancer! She said the best thing anyone could have done for her was to make light of it, when appropriate. You have to focus on the positive and stay healthy! Both of you! =)
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I didn't read into your question that you already know your friend is dying. Perhaps my misunderstanding; however, I believe all your friend needs is to know that you are there for her emotionally as well as holding her hand when your friend needs it. Better to just be physically close, like sitting beside them and holding their hand than to say something trite. Just be there for them in the best way you can. No one could ask more than that of a friend. You both will get through it. I wish you both the very, very best.
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that's really hard. My b/f's dad has cancer and i didnt know what to say to my b/f about it whenever he would get bad news. I realized for HIM, he needs to be left alone to deal with it on his own...BUT my guess is your friend wants you to be there. Talk about it with her and find out what her fears are.
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I'm so sorry to hear that. There really is no right thing to say. Just make yourself available to her in any way that she needs. Follow her lead, whether that's needing to talk, needing to be silent, being with her for doctor's appointments, helping her with errands, going to a movie, etc. It's your presence and love that's important, not what you say. And if the worst should ever happen you will handle that too. Just be in the moment with her and try not to get ahead of yourself. I wish both of you the very best.
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I have been widowed twice, and I know it isn't easy. Here are some suggestions I feel are useful. Let her set the pace for conversation. You may be tempted to chatter idly to avoid silence - Don't! Silence is all right and your presence will speak volumes. Let her control the length of time you visit by asking her to let you know if she needs to rest. Don't place demands on the her. Allow her to express her feelings even if she is angry, guilty, afraid, etc. There will be many different feelings present and she may change rapidly. Remember you don't have to answer her questions or concerns - you only need to listen and empathize
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I've never dealt with cancer, so I can't give you a very good answer. But, does it make YOU feel better that we're all here? That we take the time to post, to either give you advice from our own experiences, or just to tell you that we're here pulling for you? Maybe the answer lies in that...
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I'm so sorry to hear that. My mother died like that :( i know what it is. You have to know , your eys talk. you just have to be there for here. Tell here all you never tell. I think , in my heart, you just have to love the person. There is nothing more powerfull then love.She have to know she is not alone. :) i wish you both the best, don't forget to love, its the key . good luck
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I havent been in your position, but im sure she is grateful she has you for a friend. All you can do is be there when she needs you, or needs someone to listen or a shoulder to cry on. Its going to be very hard on you, theres no doubt about it, but take comfort in the fact that you are going to spend quality time with her. Good Luck xxxx
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The strongest, most powerful thing you can do for her is to just be with her. She may die soon, or a long time from now, comfortably or in pain, but it's irrelevant. Just be with her. There's nothing you have to say or do. Just be with her.
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Be up front with your friend. You both have the same fears and emotions just maybe express at different times. But I would sit down with your friend, let her know your fears and concerns so you can move on. Then you both can enjoy life together. No one knows how much time we have whether cancer diagnosis or not. So live life to the fullest.
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