It took 4 years for my brother to realize he married a total bitch. She'll figure it out eventually.

I have the same problem, and apparently we are supposed to respect our sister's relationship and her decision to stay in it even if the guy is a complete jackass. Which I'm not sure I agree with. As for why can she see it? Because love is blind, deaf, and dumb. Who knows what it will take for the little lightbulb to go *ding* over her head. Probably an act of God. Sometimes people, even smart people, will stay with someone because at least they are with somebody. My sister can't stand to be alone, and it's a damn shame because her boyfriend is a tool who makes me want to poke my eyes out with sticks.

Everybody thinks I'm the biggest a-hole on earth. However the spousal unit sees the personal side of me and also know WHY I appear to be an a-hole to so many. Most often my being an a-hole is my way of showing I care. Things I do are misconstrued to be a personality dysfunction, when ofttimes it is actually helping others to push them to action, or to do what they would not do for themselves normally. What we most often see on the outside doesn't reflect what is on the inside. You have to pretty much live with a person day after day to get a basic idea of what inside. Most likely the man is a wonderful person (in private) and either doesn't know how to present himself or is actually being a hard nosed, a-hole knowing that even those folk don't like it in the long run he is doing them a favor by being hard and callous about X, pushing the other person to action where when being "nice" would not push the person. Obviously he is doing something right and she likes him and loves him. Either that or she is totally deluded, in which case she will sooner or later discover the 'truth' and act on it.

be careful now,you are in a war.all it takes to save your life is one bullet.fate has it that the person you hate,has that bullet to save you.

Why should she break up with him cause you don't like him?

if he is really as bad as you he is, i would think that there is a good reason she doesn't break up with him. i don't know her so i can't say really, but if i were dating someone my parents didnt like, id keep dating them to spite my parents.

Because it's her choice for who she loves, and just because you and the rest of her family doesn't like him, doesn't mean she isn't going to be with him and be happy. If everyone didn't do something that they wanted because other people didn't like it, this world would not be what it is today.

if she loves him theres nothing you can do, but accept him. i had the same problem with my sisters fiance no one liked him. but i have grown to love him and consider him my brother. i know my sister loves him, so there must be something good about him and if it meant her choosing him over us i chose to accept the fact that i have no control over her life.

Love is blind. Way back in high school (20 years) my friend started to date a real jackass. He was cruel and ignorant to everyone, except her or when she was around. When she was near he was very sweat and sensitive. They ended up getting married even though her entire family warned her. Two babies and 7 years later he started to show his true colors around her. They ended up divorcing and he remarried. She said now she understands what everyone was saying to her years ago. He treats her and their kids like dirt.

This same situation happened in my family with my sisters ex she dated him from the time she was in grade 9 till just after she graduated off and on. He was also an ass hole and the more we insulted him and asked why she was with him the more she wanted to stay together with him. so what I told her was this.. look I see that you feel in love with him but he makes you cry everyday and doesnt respect you and I said that I couldnt do anything to stop her from dating him and that I loved her and only wanted to see her happyand that one day she will realize that everyone was not being evil and will thank me one day. And I ment that I cant ever pick who she liked and you cant for your sister. Just tell her calmly how you feel but also tell her that you no that you cant stop her from dating him. After I had my talk with my sister they broke up within 2 months so it worked just talking not yelling or fighting

Put it simply...NO. Love is blind.

oh I bet she does sooner or later. Till then she might have to take her lumps (metaphorically of course)

Eve couldn't have said it better when she said love is blind. You not approving of him probably only makes her want to date him even more. Eventually she will wake up and smell the coffee and realize that there are other fish in the sea that will treat her better than that.

She'll have to see that for herself...

No.

I had the tremendous priveledge to have my older sister call me one time asking me to "remove" her husband from their home. You cannot imagine the satisfaction to have a situation like you stated and be given the opportunity to correct it. Hopefully your sister too will one day see him for his true colors and you will all breathe a sigh of relief.

If he is that way someday she'll see. Right now though, nothing you can say will do anything. In fact, it might push her away from you. Try to be supportive and if you know of anything that could cause physical *or is causing her mental harm* you do have a right to do something about that however.

I have the same exact problem. My parents and I don't like my sister's boyfriend. He's a nice guy, but that's about it. He has no goals, is a mooch, and doesn't treat her like she should be treated. I've talked to my parents about it and they feel the same exact way. Bottom line, he's just not good enough for your sister. Hopefully, both of our sisters will wake up and realize that they can do so much better. My parents are going to express their feelings about him as I have already done, and hopefully, some sense will arise. Everyone is right in saying that you can't help who you love and you have to just suck it up, but you can help it if you think that he is bringing her down. Talk to your sister when she's not being confrontational and tell her that you don't think that he's right for her. Don't pull out the he did this list, but you can name a few things that have bothered you in the past. No one is perfect, but you can help her to see another side of the situation and open her eyes a little so that she can see that he is affecting the people around her.

Nah...she doesn't see. As others have said, love is blind. I am in a similar situation. My sister is with a jerk but she acknowledges that he's incredibly messed up. SHE KNOWS he treats her badly. She won't let him go. He treats her horribly (calls her horrible names, deliberately does stuff to make her cry and cry, one time, he refused to pick up her phone calls, accidentally did it one time, said "oh shit" and HUNG UP ON HER), and the next day goes and apologizes, she accepts it and thinks he's gonna stop. But he just does it again and again. It's really been a stressful time for our entire family because she forces all of us to deal with it by screaming, crying and carrying on. Then she tells us that she doesn't want to hear what we say. She refuses to talk to me about it because I am really unsympathetic towards her bf. It's a relief to me, to be honest, because I'm not going to lie about him. I myself can't be nice about him. Can't imagine what it's like for her. I really don't want to lie to her and say "oh yeah, he's deep down a great guy and will change!!!" I have no idea if he will or not. You'd think he would because he goes on about how he NEEDS her (coincidentally after he's treated her like crap) in his life and can't live without her, yet treats her as he does. It's all bizarre. She wants everyone to tell her he's gonna change (of course that's what she wants, she loves him and wants to be happy), and gets extremely angry when each time she doesn't get the answer she wants to hear. The thing is, he used to be quite nice and we did like him, and all of a sudden started pulling the crap he's pulling when he started partying and hanging out with losers. It was quite startling, because I thought they were really good together. love is blind, forces you to stay with losers when you know better. I pray my sister will accept it, I love her and want the best for her, but it's her decision...I've just resolved to bear it and I stay far away from them when he's around (luckily, he lives about an hour away from us, so we don't see him too often), otherwise, I want to punch him and want to shake her for not seeing that this relationship is doomed.)

Why should she break up with him just because you don't like him?

Not while everybody is pushing them together.

I hate my sister's boyfriend also. She met him at a bar, and a friend he was with at the bar told her in the bathroom to stay away from him because he has a STD. She still gave him his number!! I also met him that night and he told me he ran the Boston Marathon, but he didn't know his marathon time or didn't know that you had to qualify in another marathon to run it. Obviously he was lying. I called him out on it and he then admitted to lying to impress me so that my sister would be impressed. How does that make any sense? So she started dating him, and then I find out he had just broken up with his ex girlfriend of 4 years 2 months prior. He still shares a dog with his ex and wanted to go visit his dog! And I found out he cheated on his ex and never told her about it. My sister and him have been together for 8 months now and he has met my parents, who hate him as well. They have broken up 8 times and gotten back together in 8 months. My sister hates me because I don't like him. Every time she brings him up, I cringe and don't say anything. What do I do? I think my sister is desperate and lonely and that is why she is dating him.

she wont leave him if she feels like she has nowhere to go. by that i mean while everyone is shouting at her they are making it difficult for her to turn to you. she will be feeling like he is all she has and its them against the world. step back for a bit, be there when she needs you, and she will leave him on her own.

UGH. I'm going through the same thing. My sister has been with a freeloading loser for NINE YEARS! They are not even engaged yet and she just turned 31. She always wanted the house and family and it seems like she's throwing it all away with this guy. He doesn't work and hasn't in nine years. She supports them and they live in his parent's basement. He is in his late 30's. Why would a seemingly intelligent girl stay with such dead weight? We have asked ourselves this question for nine years. We have resorted to hoping his car goes off the road someday. It's the only way they'll ever break up.

my sisters boyfriend hit me round the face for telling a joke that wasent even affencive he is so out of order i have tried telling my sister but she dont believe me (she is 18) how do i break the two up myself

If that's all it took for someone to realize that their s/o just aint' no good this world would be a much greater place. But alas it isn't so.

im going though the same thing, they always talk all night and hang out everyday. i am the only one in my family who doesnt like him, he is the biggest jerk, a-hole, pervert, ugliest person i know. my sister and i used to be 2 peas in a pod but now she doesnt care about me anymore, shes like obsessed with having a boyfriend because she cant stand being alone. i told her i didnt like him and she doesnt care, my BF's brother is best friends with him and she told me he is a player, and i just dont want to see my sisters heart broken even though i would be happy their over. right now im not speaking to her untill they break up...what should i do? please help me

My sister's boyfriend is the biggest jerk to ever exist.I simply can't stand him.I hate the way my sister is besotted with him.I don't know what she sees in him.He keeps interfering in our arguments and lacks the sense of humour to take even a normal joke sportingly.I'm not even sure if he knows what a joke is.

I have the same problem.I hate my sister's boyfriend.He is a meddlesome jerk.But i guess there is nothin we can do about jerk-boyfriends-of-siblings.Just let it be and hope to hell that she sees some sense.