ANSWERS: 29
  • Tell them it's easier said then done...
  • Tell them that they're being really insensative towards your feelings and that you want real advice.
  • because even though they have no clue how deeply you were affected the correct solution is to find a way to get over it. Dwelling on something is not going to help,worrying is not going to help,complaining is not going to help, crying is not going tt help.Best thing is to find away to get over it and move on with life.
  • You are allowed to go through the mourning process and experience all the feelings. Saying something to a person that would say that...is not worth wasting your breath on. They don't know and don't care... You can tell them that you appreciate their view point and that you will not comment any further.
  • No person can fully understand what you are going through. If they are telling you to just get over it, they are incapable of empathy or sympathy. Ignore them and focus on what you need to so that you can successfully move forward.
  • Despite their oversimplification of the problem(s) you are experiencing, they are being honest with you. That you may get angry with their "simple" remarks may also help you deal with the frustration the problem(s) have provided for you.
  • "Easier said than done."
  • "see ya later" If it bothers me that they say that, then I'm needing someone to commiserate with and it's obviously not them.
  • It bothers me actually. Just because they might have experienced something similar in the past, doesn't mean they have a right to tell me to just get over it. I have to move on at my own pace and work through the tough times willingly, and most importantly, at a healthy pace. Just simply "getting over it" is not healthy, as you will always have a dark cloud hanging over you.
  • It's like they haven't truly listened to what you've said. I wouldn't know what to say to them though.
  • I really don't know what to say to someone who truly don't understand when someone says it. However, i feel hurt when they do, for they don't understand what I may deeply be going through.
  • I've noticed that people seem to say this when 1) they are at a loss as to how to respond to the issue or 2) have heard the issue related multiple times and have no additional advice to give. In either case, I just respond something along the lines of, "I only wish it were that simple," and redirect the conversation because I realize they are either not able or not willing to engage in that discussion.
  • Tell them that you hope the same shit happens to them so then you can tell them to "just get over it".
  • We all go at our own speed....no one knows how badly the heart hurts us personally. We take all the time we need to heal....what others feel are mole hills we might feel are mountains. Regardless...those that say that have a lack of compassion.
  • I would say, i can't, at least not now, i will eventually but allow me to feel the way i need to feel right now, everything is a process and maybe its taking me more time than you think it should but hey its my right to feel this way.
  • if this was someone close to you, they wouldn't be so insensitive. they obviously can't fathom the pain you are going through....whether it's a break-up, the loss of someone close to you, the loss of a pet (which, for people like me, to whom pets are "family," is as hard as losing family). they just have no clue...
  • people seldom have any idea about me so I have learned to live with them telling me how to cook (I was a chef in a top restaurant) how to fix things (I repair anything from PCs to motorcycle engines) and so on and on and on. I just walk away.
  • Ignore them. They dont know what you are feeling. When you are ready to deal, you will deal. Avoid them until then. good luck!!!
  • If they have never been raped, robbed, beaten, cheated on or otherwise abused, they have no right to give the "get over it". If they were able to get over their pain, good for them. Everyone heals at their own pace. Telling someone to snap out of it or get over it is like telling a dying person to heal themselves, it just doesn't happen.
  • There's not much to say, really.
  • get over yourself
  • Thanks for such a great question Jodie. Most people who tell others to get over it either never wnet through the experience themselves or were blessed enough if they did go through it to heal rather quickly. I think before someone opens their mouth and tells another person to get over it that they should think about this. No 2 situations are exactly the same just as no two people are exactly. Just because you think you have experienced something exactly the same as someone else and you were able to bounce back quickly doesn't mean that other person will. Take the death of a spuse or partner for instance. Person A may have a grieving periof of a couple of months and bounce right back as if nothing happened while person B may need years and in some cases may never fully recover from that loss. I have gone through a similar experience with many of my friends and family who keep telling me nearly 3 years is long enough to mourn my fiancee's death. They all seem to think that I am using mourning her death as a shield to hide behind so I don't have to face reality and get back out there and open my heart to another. This is why I don't associate with many of them anymore because it just becomes one big arguement. When I feel I am ready to give my heart to someone else I will. In the meantime I wish people who think they know better would stop harassing people to just get over it.
  • Because they dont understand the depth of pain you are feeling,they say this to try and make you feel better even though it doesnt,they are just trying to be nice. Unless of course theyv said it in a sarcastic way
  • I don't chose confidants that say such invalidating, unhelpful things when I'm upset. If someone were to say this to me now, I'd tell them to go away.
  • Honestly, I'd say 'BITE ME'!!! Sorry but I've said it before if they can be smart arses so can I.
  • I think it has its merits...if you hold on to something hurtful and keep reliving it, the harm accrues to you and not the person who inflicted it upon you..you are giving the person (assuming that is what we are talking about) power to continue affecting your life..he/she moves on, is oblivious and doesn't give a dam*..you keep suffering. So however one poses it, I think maybe saying "let it go" might say the same thing..but "just get over it", "let it go" "move on"..all of those words, however insufficient, are geared to move you out of something hurtful. :)
  • You just have to remember exactly what you said: they have no idea. There's no way to know what somebody is going through unless you've gone through it yourself. Unfortunately, almost anything that people say when they're trying to be "helpful" is going to wind up inane at best, and offensive at worst. For those people who are close enough to you, let them know as best you can that "just getting over it," while an attractive prospect, is not an option. For the rest, just ignore them -- they aren't educable in the area anyway. You can't make people understand.
  • Depending on how much bull I had already put up with, I'd probably tell them to f*** off, and not talk to them again.
  • I would say "OK"... and then I would try to go talk to someone who was more compassionate, understanding, tactful, and kind.

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