There is nothing you can do to make her feel good about it. I had just that kind of roommate. When I brought it up, she'd always get mad and quit talking to me. Once, I said let's clean and she agreed. I started, and she bailed and was gone all day and all night for two days. She came back to a clean place. She was mad, but she got over it. I just couldn't take a semester and a half's worth of filth lying around... open food drawing bugs. It was bad.

Honestly you should probably just tell her that she has to pull her weight around the place or you will have to find a new roommate. I know it is a little extreme but I have found that it is usually the only way to get roommates to do what they need to do. or you could tell her that if she dosen't clean then she will start taking on more of the rent so you can even out that you do all the work and she will pay most of the rent. you dont really have to follow thru but it may scare her into helping out.

Sounds like she's using her anger to manipulate you into not asking for her help, for whatever reason. I appreciate your wanting to avoid angry confrontations, believe me, but honestly, if she continues that behavior, you'll continue resenting her unwillingness to help, and the situation will become more and more unpleasant. Not to mention your place will become less and less clean, LOL. What about writing her a matter-of-fact, unemotional, letter, asking for her help in putting together a cleaning schedule that you can both live with. Maybe then, she'll understand the concept of "common courtesy in living with someone means you have to pitch in and vacuum once a week". Great question, BTW. Good luck!!

This person sounds to me as if she is bullying you into not asking her to do her share of the housework. This is a situation that you cannot allow to continue even if it means one big venting of her anger. You must sit her down and explain that things have to change or one of the will have to look for another room mate. Lists do not help with this type of person they just ignore them she is dominating your life and you must stop it now. I know it can be unpleasant and difficult but so is cleaning up another persons filth. I hope you find a way around this problem .

All you can do is be straight with her, the only other option is to stop cleaning too in the hope that she realises how much you do and has an attack of concience!

Let her be mad! Aren't you having some emotional issues with the mess she makes and won't clean up? Then work up a good case of mad for yourself and go tell her how you feel. She will never pitch in if no one makes it clear that her behavior is not acceptable. Her anger gets you to leave her alone and she is probably really glad that you are so happy to clean up all by yourself! SPEAK UP!! Besides, what is her anger going to do? Worst case, she moves out and you find a new roomie who will carry their own weight.

People like your roommate need a good lesson. This is gonna take some willpower on your part especially if you don't like dirt but here's how you fix someone like her. You clean your room and the bathroom because I am sure you don't want a dirty toilet. As far as the common areas like the kitchen and living room are concerned don't touch it. Wash your own dishes if you like but leave her stuff in the sink. I gurantee you unless she is a pig that doesn't mind living in filth after a couple of days she will get the message when things start to stink and she will be more than glad to pull her weight.

i have a roommate that moved in in november of last year. his girlfriend comes over and cooks these huge mass ammounts of food, usually on a sunday nite.. the results is food everywhere, scraps and stains of food on the counters, gunky food all over the stove, grease splatters everywhere, on the table, on the walls, all over the floor, and the garbage bin is really gross. at first, they would make efforts to clean the place ina day or two after the big cook off. now, a few months later, things have changed. they still have their big cook sessions on sunday nites, but they dont clean up. when i get disgusted about it, i usually see them in the kitchen a few days later, and ask them what they think about the mess, and what should be done about it... they say "oh, we plan on cleaning next weekend, were too busy to clean up this week." but their idea of "being too busy to clean" is sitting around together for hours and hours, surfing theinternet, having sex, or doing other fun things. so then, that weekend rolls around, you know, the weekend they said they would do the cleaning, rihgt? remember? and they dont clean it. sometimes they do a very minimal job of cleaning, like wipe 1 stain off the stove, meanwhile, all 4 burner areas of the stove are caked with weeks of old stiny food. most weekends, they simplly sont clean. yest, every sunday nite, it s the big cook off again. so now, after being warned twice about this, their excuse is "i dont think its as bad as you say it is" or "why are you hassling me? i thought we were friends?" i think all of this is ridiculous! it's my apartment, my roommate moved in under the clear understanding that he would clean up after himself in the common rooms, most especially the kitchen, yet, his excuse is mostly that "i didnt make the mess, my girlfriend did!" but she doesnt even pay me rent! im totally serious! this guy is a lazy, sloppy jerk, and i confronted him about this, and told him his messes are going to lead to roaches and mice, and if my landlord of 3 years saw this mess, i could get evicted, but he is not phased, and just said he'd rather move out than having to deal with my "hassling" him. it's really outrageous. i think he is irresponsible and childish and i told him it's too bad he couldnt honor the agreement we made wehen he moved in, to help clean up when he cooked. i dont believe in coddling adults, and i say it like it is. i really am angry about this, and i feel taken advantage of, and i cant believe someone would agree to clean, move in under this agreement and premise, and never ever make efforts to clean or help clean. this is a total joke! thanks for listening. ps i am not a neat freak; i am average, but its my apartment, and i want it to look nice, i dont want bugs or mice, and i dont want to be embarresed if i have neighbors, family or friends visit me. some people just dont give two shits about anybody but their own, messy, selfish selves. i told him to move out and hes agreed to do so. this guy is close to graduating and will soon be an office manager. the ultimate irony will be that he will have to deal with similar employees, who will not lsiten to him talk about policies and procedures, and end up rebeling against him, much like he rebels against me, than the hahaha big joke will be on him,. its called karma... ouch! there, im done venting lol thnx for listening. mike