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by Anonymous on November 22nd, 2007

Anonymous

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I was an only child for 9 years of my life, then I became the oldest. Sometimes it's still hard to treat my brother like he's my brother, and more like he's someone I have to take care of and be a mother for,considering the lack of my mom, is this normal?

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Answers. 3 helpful answers below.

  • by Chiffonade on December 21st, 2008

    Chiffonade

    I'm five years older than my brother and played your role for the first ten years of his life. I mean to tell you, we had some knock down, drag out fights - AND he was definitely my mother's favorite. (He looks just like her - I resemble my father.)

    Here's the good news. EVENTUALLY, you will come to rest on an even plain. If you're 35 and he's 24, you may not feel like you're in two completely different worlds. You'll both be adults and he may not need a "caretaker" so much as a "friend."

    My brother and I are best friends now. I wouldn't have it any other way. We come to one another's rescue when needed and we laugh until our sides split. He is the person on this planet most like me. Even though we had a rough start, I wouldn't trade him for the world.

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  • by Jewel on November 22nd, 2007

    Jewel

    Your relationship with your brother has been one of caretaker so it is normal for you to feel that way now. Your relationship with him will change with time. You and he will grow and change and, if you are in contact, you will learn who this new person is as they age and change.
    I had an unusual reltionship with my father. He left me when I was about 8. He came back when I was 15 & I found that I only knew him as an 8 yer old would. Our relationship had stopped at the moment he left. When we tried to reestablish the connection we had to begin where we left off and let it mature. He left twice more and the same thing happened each time. Relationships are made of our experiences. Yours and your brothers relationship will grow. Give it time.

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  • by angel_of_mercy on November 22nd, 2007

    angel_of_mercy

    no! you should help and be interested in your brothers wellfare - but by no means should you have to act like a parent towards your brother. speak to your mom if you feel this way.

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