An engagement signifies a marriage which signifies a lifelong commitment. It doesn't seem like you're quite ready for that.

It could be an indicator that maybe you aren't as inlove with your fiance as you want to believe you are. Also since I don't know your situation maybe it's an indicator that you see your fiancee as solid and dependable and thos other guy as more exciting and interesting. It is not unusual for brides to be to get cold feet and start to panic especially if you are fairly close to your wedding day. Maybe you just need a little break to sort things out and decide if you are really ready to make a lifetime comittment to this man. I would suggest taking a little break and doing some serious soul searching before you get married to this man. Once the ring is on the finger and the I do's have been said it will be kind of too late then to decide you made a mistake. I'm sure you don';t want to spend the rest of your life always wondering if you did the right thing by marrying this man especially if you are feeling something so strongly for someone else. I'm not saying that you should pursue something with the other guy. What I am saying though is that you need to be absolutely sure that this man you are about to marry is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with for better or for worse. It is quite possible you are inlove with the idea of being someone's wife and having the fairytale wedding but you aren't inlove with the man you are about to make a lifetime comittment to. If you truly were inlove with him you would not be feeling such a strong attraction to this other guy. I was once inlove with a girl and was engaged to be married to her. In reality there were plenty of women who were much more prettier than her had nicer bodies etc but I was so inlove with her that I could not ever imagine myself being with someone else. I actually still am very much inlove with her so much so that I have not been able to move on with my life and find someone else to give my heart to. She;s been gone nearly 3 years now and there are so many days I find myself praying to God to let me have a massive heart attack or a severe stroke or walk out in the middle of traffic and get hit head on by a truck something that will kill me instantly so I can be back in her arms again. That's how much I love and miss her. Please have a talk with that fiance of yours and let him know that you love him and don't want to lose him but you are just starting to have some doubts about whether you are doing the right thing by getting married and you just need a little time by yourself to sort things through. If he loves you he will understand and allow you the time to think things through. Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.

You should consider your feelings for the person you're engaged to, not the person you currently have passion for.

Stay were you are. Don't give up a good thing for a promise. "One bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." You feelings for this other guy will fade away. Good men are hard to find. When you have one you should keep him.

This kind of thing often says a lot more about you than it does about either of your men. A lot of the time when we want out of a relationship, or feel it's moving too fast we handily fall in love (or more often lust) with another person, and use them as a catalyst for the ending of the current relationship - somehow it feels better to move from one relationship to another, than to move from being in a relationship to being alone. Sometimes we hang onto relationships because we're scared of being alone, rather than because we're really in love. Sometimes we let things move too fast because we don't want to risk losing out all together. Sometimes a long term relationship seems dull and boring and the idea of someone fresh and new so you can go through the rush and excitement of early dates and sex seems appealing. Sometimes you find something lacking in your partner but feel bad about feeling like that when they've sacrificed so much for you and seem so in love with you- so instead of just leaving to be with someone better for you you end up fostering two relationships and not making anybody happy. Sometimes, you just get hot for two guys - men are like buses after all... The problem is you build up a relationship with the new person until you realise that's not right either and fall in love with someone else *again* - and so on unto eternity. What I think you need is some time away from BOTH of these guys to work out exactly what it is you want from your life. Go on holiday. Go stay with your Mum - whatever you can manage. Now really think about what you want. Imagining your future with your fiance should make you happy and hopeful - if instead it gives you a vague sense of foreboding and a dread at the idea of never being with anyone else ever again - then maybe you really need to consider whether you want to get married now, to him. don't even think about making a choice between two guys - think about whether you want to get married, whether you're ready for this big step- - I suspect that has more to do with your feelings than any charms Mr Second Choice might have. You have to decide whether you want to get married (remember what that means - it's a comittment for life - if that scares the living shit out of you then don't do it!), whether it's time to slow things down, whether it's time to call it a day. If it's the latter, then give yourself a break. Be single. Enjoy being single. You may find that your impossible crush fades away surprisingly quickly.

You should tell your fiance about your feelings for the other guy. He has a right to know, and it sounds like your gonna screw him over big time.

Amazingly, there's already a song that covers this. It won't solve your problem, but I find hearing such things allow me to think about the subject a little more clearly. It doesn't work for us all, but for some. http://music.yahoo.com/Sarah-McLachlan/Stupid/lyrics/2086594#lyricstop

If you really love him, this is something you should bring up with him. You need to decide together if the relationship is right for you, or you can put it on hold for a little while to clear your head. Or just let things go as they are to see if the feelings for the other one fade.

Perhaps not.... Sounds like you aren't really sure of yourself, and a little iffy in the commitment department. I know one thing that could help you is to avoid having to be in situations that you could interact with him, or future dudes that you would possibly fall for as well.

It's six months later. Please come back to AB to let us know how things are going. I vote that you stick with the fiance.