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by Bettyboop on November 3rd, 2007

Bettyboop

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I love my boyfriend, but it bothers me when he talks to or about his ex girlfriends. it makes me feel insecure, i trust him but with ex's there is always a temptation. i don't think ppl should be freinds with ex's. someone can easily fall back. right?

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Answers. 14 helpful answers below.

  • by An Educated Optimist on November 3rd, 2007

    An Educated Optimist

    Not really. Trust means that you truly are not worried that he will cheat on you at all. Seriously, and in all honesty, I have no doubt that my fiance would kick a beautiful woman out of his bed, because he is not interested in anybody but me. The same goes for me -- there is no chance that I would ever cheat on him, ever. There is literally no temptation. If you trust your guy, you shouldn't be worried. Perhaps hanging out with his female friends would put your mind at ease. Clearly, he's not trying to hide anything from you. Sometimes, people have friends of different genders -- a long-term relationship doesn't mean a change in friends.

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  • by ...... on November 3rd, 2007

    ......

    For me an ex- means no longer. something happened that ended our relationship and we felt it could not be worked out. So no I am not friends with any ex I have had and I do not plan to be. We tried it failed, time to move on.

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  • by christie on November 3rd, 2007

    christie

    Your message is a bit of a contradiction.

    You say you trust him. Is that correct? Because if you trust him, no matter what this "ex" of his says or does. Your boyfriend is loyal to you no matter what.

    I dont think its fair to say you shouldnt be friend with your ex.

    If he is going to go back to his ex. There isnt much you can do about it.

    Work on strengthening your relationship with your bf. Stop thikning about these other girls, seriously they arnt worth your time. Talk about this issue with your bf and see what he says, communication is the key to any relationship and make sure you listen to what he has to say.

    good luck

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  • by Daisy85 on November 3rd, 2007

    Daisy85

    Not really, if a guy (or girl) is going to fall back....it will happen whether or not they are friends. In 2004 my b/f of 1 year broke up. I left state and we didn't see each other or talk for two months. I called at the end of the 2 months and we decided to get back together, he ended it with some one he was casually dating. We have been together ever since. I guess my point is that if its ment to happen it will happen regardless of friendship or not. Even if they are friends if he is gonna "fall back" knowing he is with you, you don't want him anyway. Good luck.

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  • by LindaLis on August 3rd, 2008

    LindaLis

    Dont you think that if he wanted her he would of dumped you already?

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  • by YaelSimons2 on April 9th, 2008

    YaelSimons2

    It's all about trust here. You either trust him or you don't, and it kind of sounds like you don't. The best move you can make right now is to talk with him about how you feel. You shouldn't keep this to yourself and you shouldn't go and talk to a bunch of people about it, because if he finds out that you didn't come to him first, he might be hurt.

    If you are nervous of how he might take it, trying talking to ONLY one of your closest gal pals whom you really trust, and see what she thinks. Sometimes, when you are in the state you're in, things tend to seems different than they are. If this is true, this pal might be able to send your mind back on the right track.

    When it does come time (if) to talk to him, make it casual (but serious at the same time), short, sweet, and to the point. Guys tend to not like long, drawn out conversations. That stuff may work well in Soap Operas, but those are filmed from scripts on stages. Real life is different. If you have a long, tearful conversation, he may feel like your pushing him into a corner and accusing him when you're not. And use a lot of "I feel like" sentences, instead of "you this" and "you make me feel that".

    But the easiest answer is simple: Don't worry yourself over it. My fiance and his ex are really good friends and I'm not worried. You just got to remind yourself that they broke up, they ended their relationship, and he is devoted to your relationship now. All you need is a little more confidence. :-)

    "Falling back to the ex" (like your situation) is more popular in Drama TV than they are real life. Don't let popular culture taint your mind or your relationship.

    And finally: ask yourself a question and answer it honestly. Do you talk to your ex-boyfriends? I'm sure that if your answer is "yes", it's strictly platonic: meaning you don't feel the same way about them that you did at one point. You're just friends! It's the same situation with him.

    No worries, mate!

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  • by Indigo- in the library with the revolver on November 3rd, 2007

    Indigo- in the library with the revolver

    Well, how does he talk about them?
    There's nothing wrong with being friends with an ex... one of my ex's is still one of my best friends, but I can't imagine getting back together or doing anything with her... just because him and his ex's still talk doesn't mean he still has feelings for them.

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  • by TravelBug on April 9th, 2008

    TravelBug

    i'm nosy, i actually like to know about their ex gf's. I get so curious, what were they like, why did they break up, were they pretty. All those kinds of things. My mentality is if he was still keen on her then he wouldn't be with you. But if you get insecure then he might not want to be with you. Guys are dumb like that.

    Dude he's with you coz he wants to be, don't give him any reason to think that you want otherwise.

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  • by hope and peace on November 3rd, 2007

    hope and peace

    Perhaps arrange a night out with all of you and see exactly what the nature of the relationship still is. If they are touchy-feely and can't keep their eyes off each other then it's time to move on.

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  • by Elfie on November 18th, 2008

    Elfie

    Wrong. People are exs for a reason. I have exs that I'm actually disgusted with the idea of sleeping with again, and can't even imagine why I wanted to in the first place. But I'm friends with them. I'm friends with all my ex-partners, and talk about them, cause they're my friends.
    Maybe you need to discuss why they broke-up so you'll stop believing there is temptation. An ex is an ex for a reason. He's with you for a reason.

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  • by buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind on November 3rd, 2007

    buxtonite ..slowly losing my mind

    sorry but you have shot yourself in the foot ...you either trust him or you don't ...and you don't!

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  • by maitemt on November 18th, 2008

    maitemt

    It depends on the person but girl, U should know if u trust ur man or not?! bcause let me tell u, a lot of 'em fool around behind...if he's talking to the ex...God knows wat they be thinking about, or wat they actually talk about. Do u ever ask urself, Wat can i possibly talk to an (ex) about...hmmm

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  • by Anonymous on June 24th, 2009

    Anonymous

    I think if he is open about it and doesnt try to hide the fact that he is talking to them, it should e okay. My bf would not talk to his ex when I was around, he would let the call go to voicemail and then call her later and when I asked him why he talks to her all the time, he would always give me some explanation. I could not tell if what he told me was the truth or a lie. So that was very bothersome. To this day, I dont know. If he talks to them in front of you, you will be able to see how the conversation goes and should be able to tell if there is anything going on between them other than freindship.

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  • by AnonymousGirl on July 9th, 2010

    AnonymousGirl

    It doesn't sound like you trust him very much to me. Besides, even if they stop talking, there's still a chance he might fall for them. Leave him alone. If his lifestyle choices bother you that much, consider moving on and finding someone who makes all his ex's history.

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You're reading I love my boyfriend, but it bothers me when he talks to or about his ex girlfriends. it makes me feel insecure, i trust him but with ex's there is always a temptation. i don't think ppl should be freinds with ex's. someone can easily fall back. right?

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