Should i just leave him alone on this issue- husband says hes leaving if i dont kickmy24 yr.old son out because he wont keep a job. son makes poor choices- has no car nowhere else to live.drinks to often- needs couseling. weve been married for 17 yrs.
by 
rebjohn
ANSWERS: 8
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Do you love your husband? I think there comes a time when we have to let our children stand on their own two feet. Maybe your husband sees what your son's behavior is doing to you and he doesn't want to stay around and watch you being taken advantage of. Without knowing more of the details I really couldn't say what I'd do. However, I do think that if you begin enforcing rules in your home, your son will most likely find some place else to go.
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Is this son you have together?I think hes being unfair how can you choose!!!You shouldnt have to choose you love them both id tell him my sons staying and see if hes calling your bluff!Good luck
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Parents are the best judge of their childrens, childrens at some point in their life need to stand on their own.Your son is 24 now and he should have alrady started to build his career.I seen no problem if your husbands wants you to correct the son, because reading your question i feel he doesnt listen to DAD. You will be doing a lot of good to your husband as well as your son if you correct him right now and bring him on the right path. May be he needs your company, guidance and counselling than he needs to go in for some kind of job to earn his own dough!
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It sounds to me like this is not the first time this has come up. It must be a dominating issue in your household, so it's probably not news to you how important it is to your husband. We all make poor choices. We learn by absorbing the consequences from them. If you provide a safe landing pad every time for your son, you are not letting him learn how to make wiser choices. I think your husband sees this, too. This may be his best idea to help both your son and you to move on and grow. Decide who or what is more important to you, look at the motives of all three of you. 17 years is a lot to give up on. And your son will always be your son in the end. I hope you do the right thing.
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We're talking about a 24 year old here, not a 14 year old. I can understand your husband's frustration. How about negotiating something? Would your husband go along with a 90 day deadline for this ADULT son? Offer your son some opportunities for change, if you can, and let him know the free ride has limits. In the 90 days you can help him get established on his own and start addressing his drinking problem. A car is nice, but it isn't actually a necessity. It's something you EARN by working, saving your money and establishing some sort of credit. A lot of people are completely independent without cars. It sounds like you recognize that your son has shortcomings, but you continue to enable those. You and your husband of 17 years deserve to have a tension free home, and it sounds like the adult son is a huge obstacle to that. Sorry if I seem unsympathetic to him, but honestly, I am unsympathetic to him.
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i am guessing this isnt his son ,because if it was he wouldnt be throwing him out . and by throwing your son out, that is not helping your son ,thats just trying to void your sons problems, weather your son is 24 or 104 if your son is having problems you as a mother should be there for him , after all a person is who there parents make them to be grwing up. and if he is drinking to much maybe there is something more going on.
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You should practice tough love on your son and kick him out if he can't be a responsible adult? How is it productive to let a adult who should be living alone do so with no expectations? Your son should have to hold a job and have basic responsiblities in order to live with you because he's not a minor? Don't let your marriage get ruined because you want to continue to baby your adult child. I think deep down you already know your husband is right, but you just don't want to let your son go. Let him go because that is the only way your son will learn.
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You need to talk to both hims. Not sure what's in your head, but it's time to cut the cord.
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